IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Can you believe it’s been a week already since the last Dynamite recap? CM Punk went one-on-one with Dax Harwood for the first time, Sting struggled to hit a Scorpion Death Drop and Adam Cole became the AEW World Heavyweight Champion! Uh….I guess? Oh! And I returned from a life hiatus, too! Just remember, it’s been a whole week since our last Dynamite recap. I can’t wait to see what shenanigans occur this week now that IT’S BEEN A WHOLE WEEK. Hey, can anyone tell me whatever happened to Warlord?
POP: Weekly Show Opener
For the second week in a row, CM Punk’s music hits to start off AEW Dynamite. More importantly, is what happens next. A Max Caster Special, baby! Oh, how I’ve missed thee. Let me hit ya wid it:
Yo. Listen. Listen. Yo.
I’m like Will Smith, I’ll slap ya if you smilin’
But you look like you hit more rocks than Hunter Biden
With your messed up teeth,
Your movies the only way I’ll ever go to sleep.
You’re not the Voice of the Voiceless
The ladies say you’re the Voice of the Moistless.
And homie you need to keep back
I’ll have you crappin’ your pants like you’re a Z-Pack!
I’m not really sure what this match was meant to accomplish. After beating Dax Harwood last week, CM Punk made the universal (heh) sign for I want the belt by mocking a belt around his waist. Somehow, that leads him to a match against Max Caster. Makes sense. Just kidding, it’s really confusing. Maybe he’s going to beat up the entire midcard and make that motion after every win until, I don’t know, Scorpio Sky gives him a shot at the TNT Championship belt?
The match is a pretty standard fare. It wasn’t quite a hard-hitter like last week’s opener with Dax but it sets the tone. After struggling to get Caster up for a piledriver, Punk tries again and is able to hit it the piledriver (which good ol’ JR calls the Tombstone) on Caster, putting him down for good, locking in the Anaconda Vice for the win. Tony Schiavone gets in the ring to question Punk about his title belt gesture and Punk basically calls Schiavone an idiot for not knowing what it meant (see the above paragraph if you too, are an idiot like Schiavone). CM Punk is coming for the AEW World Championship so the Adams better be on high notice!
POP: Lethal Combat
Macho Man’s music hits and out comes Jay Lethal. The crowd is digging it until Wild Thing hits and the maniac, Jon Moxley, comes out in a Blackpool Combat Club hoodie. Apparently, I missed the christening of the Dungeon Boys in that very short time between my March 16th and March 23rd recaps. Moxley, the ultimate dick, slaps Lethal’s hand out of the air as he attempts a handshake out of good sportsmanship.
Lethal looks really good tonight as he goes toe to toe with Moxley, including exchanging blows in the middle of the ring. When he attempts the Lethal Injection; however, Moxley catches him for a flash pin. Lethal kicks out at two! Lethal is able to hit the Macho Man elbow drop but Moxley kicks out at 2 and 7/8! Forget sportsmanship, this is classic one-upmanship! This causes Lethal to argue with referee Paul Turner, allowing Moxley to shift Lethal’s Paradigm and Moxley gets the victory! Remember that whole sportsmanship thing from earlier? Yeah, Mox makes good now that he doesn’t want to kill Lethal anymore.
BOTCH: Ass Boys
I want to just preface this Botch with the fact that I have yet to be able to get into anything the Gunn Club does. And why is that? Because they’re Billy’s boys? Because of nepotism? Because their faces look incredibly smug at all times and are very punchable? I don’t know. But what I do know is that I want FTR to use their, “All Fists, No Flips” motto in this match and just put all four of their fists through all two of the Ass Boys’ faces (three if you count Billy bouncing around on the outside). One small thing to note is that Smart Mark Sterling has put warning signs around the arena saying Wardlow is not allowed in the arena so I feel like that might come into play here, especially with MJF on commentary.
I do love FTR’s nWo-themed gear. It’s just awesome. As expected, Wardlow did show up in the concession area and demolish a couple of security guys. He comes out in the crowd and demolishes even more security. He stands atop the aisle and points at MJF but eventually gets stopped by security. Go figure. This distracts FTR in the ring but they’re able to counter a little Billy interference into the Big Rig for the win. Not all is well in the land of The Pinnacle as FTR is seething after the match. Dax knocks MJF’s hand away before he and Cash explain what MJF has with Wardlow is an MJF issue and not a Pinnacle issue. I don’t know if this is going to be a slow burn FTR face turn but I’m down with it if so!
POP: I Can Appreciate This
This whole sequence was awesome. Starting with the dumb interview segment in the back where Jericho Appreciation Society looks behind the curtains to make sure nobody is there and leading to the JAS standing tall at the end of the segment was perfection. Obviously, (sweet) Eddie Kingston and Pride & Powerful were going to be there and beat the hell out of the Jericho Appreciation Society. Eddie Kingston does the little things that are just amazing. While beating Jericho to the ring, he high fives a kid, which instantly made that kid freak out. Second, while Jericho is whipping Eddie with the belt, he latches on to Chris Jericho’s leg. It’s a small thing but it’s great work and all these young bucks (no pun intended) and even the grizzled old (or young!) veterans should take note.
POP: Land of 1,000 Bridges
William Regal comes out on the ramp with Bryan Danielson as the American Dragon makes his way to the ring. But thankfully for those of us watching from the comfort of our mom’s basements, Regal veers right and joins the commentary booth for the second week in a row! He again refers to Excalibur as the Man in the Mask and I just love it.
This match is 100% meant to make Wheeler Yuta look like a million bucks. We can call this a great success. He shows a little bit of a meaner streak but also a little smug. At one point, he has Daniel Bryanson in an inverted figure-four with a bridge then pulls his hands down and folds his arms over the chest. Unfortunately, Danielson grabs the ropes. These two bridged on each other all over the ring. I can’t imagine how many forehead sweat spots were left on the canvas after this one!
Our finish comes when Danielson goes for my favorite move, stomping the face off his opponent, but before he can start, Yuta reaches up and spits right in Danielson’s face. This obviously infuriates Danielson and he stomps the ever-lovin’ hell out of young Yuta. After a Gotsch-style piledriver, Danielson taps out Wheeler but even in defeat, the Dungeon Daddy is still impressed. I’m thinking Wheeler Yuta might just have a future here, kids.
POP: Surprise Storm
First off, let’s talk about how great it is that Owen Hart is back in wrestling. Yes, I know he’s passed but to have a tournament in his name (well, his foundation’s anyway), is a fantastic way to honor one of the most underrated but great wrestlers any of us have ever known. For those of you that aren’t familiar with his work, here’s a YouTube rabbit hole for you. If I may suggest, watch his Wrestlemania X match with his brother Bret. I truly believe that he could hang with anybody and had he got over Vince McMahon’s midcard boner, he would’ve been a great Heavyweight Champion.
As for The Bunny, she thinks she’s going to have a cakewalk to the finals of the Owen Hart Foundation Tournament, regardless of who her first opponent is. After she makes her way to the ring, the thunder rolls and a (Toni) Storm rolls in! The two (non-Hollywood) blondes go back and forth with The Bunny almost pulling out the win multiple times. After missing a chance to take Storm Down the Rabbit Hole, Toni finishes lil’ ol’ Bun-Bun with the Storm Zero to advance to the second round of the tournament!
POP: Sacrificial Lamb
After discussing how under-utilized Owen Hart was, I can’t help but see the same thing in Andrade el Idolo. I’d love for this guy to get rid of the (Hardy) Family Office and break out on his own to be the dominating champion that he should be. You can see that he has it all – the size, speed, and charisma to be the best, but he has to get past this goofy gimmick and rule the world. THE WORLD, you guys.
He attacks Darby right out of the gate to start the main event. As is usual for young Darbster, he gets his ass absolutely annihilated on the outside before the match even begins. Andrade beats him from pillar to post and back to another pillar just to start all over again. Unfortunately for Darby, he hasn’t made it to the ring yet, so the match won’t start. He eventually drags his broken, beaten ass back into the squared circle and tells Andrade to just bring it. Yes, he did the exact gesture you’re thinking in your head right now.
More of the same once we get in the ring. Andrade beats up on Darby though he definitely gets more offense in than he did on the outside. At one point, these two dudes just start slapping the shit out of each other in the middle of the ring. Darby locks in the submission on Andrade but Jose the Assistant runs down but is jumped by Sting before he even gets there. Butcher and Blade attack Sting and Andrade capitalizes with the Buckle Bomb and El Idolo to get the win!
Tell me if you’ve heard this before. After the match, Private Party joins in to gangbang Sting between the ropes. Naturally, Matt and Jeff Hardy come down to…. even the odds? Okay, it was still 6 on 4 so let’s just say they came down to run off the Andrade Family Office. It wasn’t my favorite way to end a Dynamite but here we are. It sets up next week’s tag team match between the Hardys and Butcher and Blade. A great episode of Dynamite, regardless of the whimper of a finish but hell, I’m still fired up for it! Let’s go!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
