IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! I want to get real for a second. Back when I was growing up, wrestling was my life. It also wasn’t very cool. Like…at all. So before the Attitude Era hit to make wrestling mainstream, there was only one man who was the epitome of cool. One could say he oozed something. Oozed coolness? Nah, not good enough. Oozed nonchalance? Nope. Way too many letters. I’ve got it! This dude oozed MACHISMO. That’s it. He oozed Machismo. It was 1992. I couldn’t explain what the hell Machismo was but I knew THIS man had it:
You know Vince McMahon saw it too. They strapped the rocket straight to his ass and lit the fuse. Hell, it was only nine months after his debut that they felt he was a big enough name for the 1-2-3 Kid to beat him in a monumental upset. Throw in the Wrestlemania X ladder match and this dude had millions of dollars written all over him. And then? 1996 happened and the wrestling industry was changed forever.
So when the news broke this week that Scott Hall had suffered complications from his hip surgery (including three fucking heart attacks), unfortunately, I knew the writing was on the wall. When Kevin Nash posted his tweet, it was all but confirmed. This world (wrestling and otherwise), is a lot less cool than it was last week but Scott Hall’s legacy will be one of grandeur, power, redemption and most of all…MACHISMO. Thanks for everything, brother.
Oh man, where were we? I don’t even remember what happened last week on Dynamite at this point, do you? That’s right! There was a big AEW signing! Paige Van Zant is now All Elite! What’s that? Okay. Yeah, yeah, I remember. Jeff Hardy showed up, too! The Hardy Boyz are back but also, we have a new TNT Champion, 2 Gold Scorpio! It’s the St. Patrick’s Day Slam so we have two more championship matches tonight, including a rematch of last year’s St. Patrick’s Day Slam Lights Out match between Dr. Britt Baker (D.M.D.) and Thunder Rosa. The only difference is this time it’s for all the gold and in a ring surrounded by steel. Before we jump in, can someone tell me what ever happened to Meiko Satomura?
POP: It’s All About the BOOM
We start off St. Paddy’s Day Slam with the goldless team of Adam Cole (baybay) and his buddies, reDRagon, coming out for their match with the very golded Hangman Adam Page and Jurassic Express. Last week, Cole hinted that he would be inviting the Young Bucks but he swerved EVERYBODY when he chose reDRagon instead. The big story in the early part of this match was the heels ganging up and neutralizing Luchasaurus. The Big Lizard finally gets the upper hand long enough to tag in the Champ and he goes crazy in the ring.
Jungle Boy tagged himself in much to the chagrin of Hangman and then cleared the ropes to crush Cole and reDRagon. This set up a move I’ve never seen before….the TRIPLE moonsault! This match was clearly trying to hit for the cycle. We had the triple moonsault, then a double Doomsday Device and finally a single BOOM Knee to the back of Jungle Boy’s head. Cole and reDRagon hit a home run for a win over the Champs!
POP: School is in Session
We get the Dungeon Daddy on the stick for this Jon Moxley/Bryan Danielson match against Chuck Taylor and his forever partner from the Best Friends, Trent! Wait, what? Wheeler Yuta? But Trent is healthy and they’re a literal tag team! What the hell BF’s?!? I’m so confused. Well, this starts off exactly how it should – Yuta getting his ass whipped. From Bryan Danielson headbutts to Jon Moxley chopping the hell out of his chest, it was a rough start for young Yuta.
Chucky was able to get in for a little bit to get his ass kicked but Moxley and Daniel Bryanson spent most of the match beating the hell out of Wheeler. Or kicking the hell out of him as it may be. After Danielson stomps Yuta’s face off, Mox lays in the Bulldog Choke and FINALLY Yuta gives up. What a beating that kid went through. Dungeon Daddy makes his way to the ring to celebrate with his infallible tag team. Regal goes face to face with Yuta and gives him the slap of approval! The greatest part is Yuta immediately getting in Regal’s face and Mox/Danielson appearing on each side of Regal, like two brothers protecting their sister on the playground. Love it.
POP: Sky’s the Limit
Man, they waste no time putting guys in title matches when they win a stipulation match, do they? Wardlow, mind you, won the Face of the Revolution Ladder Match just ten short days ago. Is the legend of 2 Gold Scorpio already done? He comes out with one belt while Dan Lambert wears the other. Don’t tell me 2 Gold Scorpio is already dead!! Anyway, they come out with Paige VanZant and her husband whose name I don’t need to learn because he looks like an idiot. Scorpio tries his best but Wardlow is just too strong for him.
Wardlow starts his Powerbomb Symphony on Scorpio. Sky is able to roll out after four powerbombs so Wardlow chases him out there and sets him up for one on the outside. He is quickly sidetracked by The Chairman Shawn Spears coming out and then smashed into the SteelRingPost by MJF! What a coward! He rolls into the ring and gets rolled up by Sky for the three! Everyone jumps Wardlow and Mr. VanZant puts him to sleep from behind. MJF pays American Top Team and they leave while MJF and Shawn Spears finish the assault on Wardlow.
BOTCH: Crowd Killer
I’m not gonna lie. I changed my BOTCH to a POP last week because the crowd popped so hard that Jeff Hardy let out a childlike smile. He was so gleeful. This week, you will not get a change from me. Jeff came out with his stupid face paint, which I don’t know why, but I hate it. I always have. It would’ve been much better had he come out with a clean face like he did when they showed up on Rampage.
The Hardy Brotherz (AEW’s term, not any of ours) hit all their greatest hits, of course. Tell me if you’ve seen this before? Private Party spends most of the match beating up Matt Hardy, which is perfect storytelling, because the crowd got super excited when Jeff got the hot tag. The contest ends EXACTLY how you thought (knew?) it would. After double Twists of Fate, Jeff hits the Swanton and the Hardy Brotherz are undefeated in AEW.
The Andrade Family Office comes out and the seven of them surround the ring, leaving the Hardyz alone. Darby Allin’s music hits and he and Sting roll out with their greatest neutralizers (the bat for Sting and a skateboard for Darby). The AFO retreats like a pack of bitches but we’ll see how the (I’m sure) future eight-man tag goes down.
POP: Te Lo Mereces
It’s finally time! My excitement level went up immensely seeing the cage lower to the ring. Thunder Rosa even gets a pay-per-view level entrance here in her hometown of San Antonio, Texas! Britt Baker’s entrance was not as flashy; however, she had gear and an entrance jacket paying homage to Scott Hall, so I’m down with it. Nice touch having her gear be nWo proper (black and white) with her jacket being nWo Wolfpac (red and black). I don’t remember Hall wearing as much sparkles but that’s okay. LET’S GO!
A year ago, in this very main event, these two became stars. By the end of Rosa’s victory, both of them (most notably, Britt Baker) were bleeding profusely. It didn’t take long for Britt to get busted up tonight. Rosa jumped on it right away, too. She scraped Baker’s face against the cage and knuckled her up to open the wound. After a commercial break, Baker grabbed every steel chair from under the ring and slid them inside. She just missed hitting Rosa with one, who turned the tables (well, the chairs) on Baker and crushed her instead!
Now that both women have color, the match really picks up. Rosa avoided a superkick but Baker hit referee Paul Turner instead. They bump him out of the ring and Baker stacked the chairs up in the same corner where Rosa was debilitated on the top. Baker hit Rosa with an Avalanche Air Raid Crash onto the chairs! Britt calls out to the ramp for a new ref and Aubrey came running down to count the thr-TWO! Baker stands some chairs up again and went to the top with Rosa. Rosa fought her off and knocked Baker onto the chairs. Holy shit, that looked painful!
Britt pops open the bag of tacks she miraculously found under the ring and poured them out in the ring. Baker back body dropped Rosa onto the tacks and locks in the Lockjaw! She put on a white and black glove but Rosa bit her hand and powerbombed Britt onto the tacks! She gets Britt up for the Fire Thunder (Rosa) Driver onto the thumbtacks and Thunder Rosa is the (AND) NEW AEW Women’s World Champion! Baker’s 290 day reign has ended in a bloody, poky mess!
That was a fun match. It wasn’t as good as the Lights Out Match from a year ago but it was really fun to watch. Obviously, the outcome makes it all the more better as Thunder Rosa is finally able to claim the championship! I love that a year ago was the first women’s main event and now, the first women’s steel cage match. Both women deserve those honors but now where does Britt go from here? And who steps up to Rosa? I’m excited to find out, I know that much. Congratulations, Thunder Rosa. You deserve it!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
