IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! When I last saw you, Adam Cole was finally able to get his hands on the AEW World Heavyweight Championship! That wasn’t even the biggest news of last week’s show. We had many things going on. Hell, Toni Storm debuted in the Owen Hart Memorial Foundation Tournament! CM Punk again opened the show and the Ass Boys sucked ass. Okay, so it wasn’t a 100% great show but it was pretty sick for most of it and I’ll accept that, that’s for sure! I can’t wait to see what we get this week! Have you ever wondered what happened to B. Brian Blair?
BOTCH: CM PUNK! CM PUNK!
Well, I’m already pissed. First off, Adam Cole (baybay) comes out to kick off the show. Lately, it’s been CM Punk’s music leading us off and honestly, I was starting to find comfort in it. Then I thought, maybe he’s fighting CM Punk to kick us off. Nope. Christian’s countdown hits and now I’m over it. That, however, is not why I’m pissed off. Adam Cole doesn’t have his AEW title anymore! I’m trying to think back to the most recent Rampages to remember whether or not Adam Page (and Jurassic Express with their tag belts) took it back and I’m pretty sure that’s what happened. But it’s been awhile so let’s just assume that!
This match ends with Cole hitting Christian with the vaunted eye poke before nailing the Boom on the back of Christian’s head. Christian, meanwhile, is immediately jumped by reDragon. This brings out the aforementioned Jurassic Express and they fight Fish and O’Reilly to the back. As Cole gets ready to leave, Hangman’s music hits and Cole challenges him for the AEW Championship. Page accepts for next week’s Rampage in a Texas Death Match…in Texas! Now that, ladies and gentlemen, is Cowboy Shit.
POP: Joe-ly Shit!
How is AEW going to put Samoa Joe on my TV screen during Dynamite and IMMEDIATELY follow it up with a Max Caster Special, as transcribed below because I love you guys:
Yo! Listen. Listen. Yo! Yo.
I’m a lay this dude down
Like a sex position.
I’m Main Event Max,
He’s X Division.
So I’m sending you home. You’re not a tough guy, Joe.
You just injury prone.
And I’m bad for your health
Got that towel because you can’t stop playing with yourself
And Tony why we give this guy a chance
When we beat them in the ratings, he was their champ!
This definitely wasn’t my favorite Max Caster Special but watching Samoa Joe react to it was gold. The rap was a little choppy but that last line was fantastic. I’m pretty sure even Joe appreciated it. The best part of this is that Samoa Joe is debuting for the Owen Hart Memorial Foundation Tournament (men’s division). At least now I have someone to root for in this tournament. You know, at least until I find out the rest of the participants.
In your brain, I know you’re envisioning just how this match would likely go. You are absolutely correct. Caster barely gets any offense in. Samoa Joe just steamrolls this fool, hits a Muscle Buster and that’s all she wrote for Mr. Caster. After the match, Jay Lethal and Sonjay Dutt show up on the big screen to talk shit to the big Samoan so ya know, we’ll see where this goes. That’s two post-match storylines in two matches so hopefully, we can get away from that.
BOTCH: I Just Can’t
I wish Captain Shawn Dean didn’t get the jobber treatment in this match. I’m 1000 times more excited for him than I am for anything that Shawn Spears does. Spears needs to drop this stupid Chairman gimmick. Cody Rhodes isn’t even in the damn company anymore. Which makes sense as to why Spears has taken over the “immediately uninterested in this superstar” mantle from Cody. Oh great, here comes Maxwell Jacob Friedman to the commentary table. I’m assuming he’s out there due to his association with Shawn Spears and the fact that he lost a professional wrestling match to Captain Shawn Dean.
This match goes about two minutes before there’s a “disturbance” in the back. The disturbance is 6’2″ and 270 pounds in the way of Wardlow, who again, is demolishing security guards on his poath to murder MJF. For the second week in a row, he’s stopped by multiple security personnel and escorted out. This allows Dean to roll Spears up and Captain Shawn Dean now has a win over MJF and his closest cronie! The best part is that it didn’t lead to anything after the match except MJF and Spears heading to the back! Yes!
POP: Got Wood?
It’s weird to me how much the announce team has been hyping up the Hardys as Table Match veterans or Table Match Specialists. They’ve undoubtedly been in their fair share of table matches, sure. But if you think back to the TLC matches from back in the early aughts, they weren’t the T in TLC. Of course, because he hate me, Jeff comes out for this match with his stupid face paint. I don’t know why I hate it but I do.
Lucky for me, Jeff gets eliminated fairly early when he’s speared through a table by Blade while being held in a suplex by The Butcher. Right after we come back from the commercial break, Matt is able to leg drop Butch through the table, leaving Matt and Blade to sort things out. Oddly enough, Jeff Hardy would be the one to win the match for the Hardys when he came back out to help Matt eliminate The Butcher once and for all before hitting a Swanton from a ladder onto Blade through a table. Are we setting up a TLC match for Double or Nothing in a couple of months? Hmm….
BOTCH: Hart for a Hart
Up next is the next match in the Owen Hart Memorial Foundation Tournament (women’s division). We are going to find out who advances to join Jaime Hayter and Toni Storm in the tournament bracket! Last I remember about Julia, she was sitting comatose on the outside of the ring while the Varsity Blonds did their thing (losing) inside the ring. How is she going to wrestle if she’s still comatose and/or blind?
Early on in the match, Julia definitely makes an interesting decision and forces Griff Garrison and Flyin’ Brian Pillman Jr. to head to the back. That’s….certainly something. She attempts to hit a Twisted Bliss but Shida gets her knees up. Shida “connects” on a spinning knee and enters the tournament by hitting a Falcon Arrow to pick up the three. As per the theme of the night, Serena Deeb tries to sneak up on Shida after the match but nothing comes of it. Man, these post-match things are really putting a damper on this episode for me. STOP.
POP: Tag Team Wrestling
Finally! Round Two! I can’t believe it’s been 18 months (Full Gear 2020) since these two teams have crossed paths. Even better, this match is for both the AAA and Ring of Honor Tag Team Championship belts. So much gold all at the same time! Bobby Cruise (Ring of Honor’s ring announcer) introduces the combatants, which makes me sad. I haven’t heard Justin Roberts announce North Carolina in so long, I was hoping to get it here with FTR.
This match starts exactly as I’d expected, with fundamental FTR chain wrestling. Now don’t get me wrong, I don’t expect this match to ever get to the point where both teams execute chain wrestling and then transition to both teams flipping around. Young Bucks, of course. But if Dax Harwood breaks out a Swanton Bomb, I’m retiring from this column, effective immediately. Don’t worry. Brute Farce will hold down the fort. Although we won’t see anything like that, FTR locking in stereo sharpshooters was pretty badass. No Flips. Just Fists. And also leglocks. Thank you.
These two give us everything we need to live up to their first match. I thought the Young Bucks secured the win after hitting Cash Wheeler with this BTE Trigger (so did the Young Bucks) but he was luckily able to stretch a leg for a rope break. The biggest thing I absolutely didn’t see coming was this gem:
BTE TRIGGER + BIG RIG equals Victory for the champs #FTR @DaxFTR and @CashWheelerFTR as they retain their #ROH and AAA Tag Team Titles! What a match we have just witnessed on an incredible night of action here on #AEWDynamite on @TBSNetwork! pic.twitter.com/zHVi1aQheG
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) April 7, 2022
Not only does FTR hit the BTE Trigger on Matt Jackson, they lean down and give him the double kiss! Now, that’s how you rub it in! One short Big Rig later (as you just saw) and FTR retains all four belts that were up for grabs! Holy shit, what a match! These four looked like they were out of gas by the end, but my goodness, did they finish it strong. This is one hell of a tag team wrestling display. Here’s the last ten minutes and it’s just magic. I am glad this episode ended on SUCH a positive note. I was very sour on it as a whole, mainly due to the post-match bullshit, but this match brought me back to my baseline and then shot me up! Great finish to the show!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
