IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! And welcome to the first recap for AEW Dynamite on TBS! Last week, we closed out Dynamite on TNT in dynamic fashion. Wardlow did his stupid powerbomb symphony (without a single cello lying around, mind you) and Shawn Spears completed his little chair attack. I know, tell me if you’ve heard that before. I have no doubt that within the next two hours, I will be bitching and moaning about this very scenario taking place again. More important than that bullshit is a potential Chris Jericho and Eddie Kingston feud. If this kicks off tonight, I will be immensely happy, regardless of whatever else comes, including a Wardlow squash. So now that we’ve all changed the channel, let’s get started on the new era, huh?! Hey, whatever happened to SD Jones?
POP: Burnin’ Barns
Well, hot damn, let’s start the TBS era off right, shall we? We light this week’s stick of Dynamite with the AEW World Championship rematch between Bryan Dickhead Danielson and Hangman Adam Page. I’m pretty sure those are the nicknames on the graphics. Speaking of graphics, how are they gonna do Page so dirty and say he hasn’t won a match yet this year. It’s literally January 5th, you monsters! Oh! And lest we forget, should this match go to another time limit draw, it’ll be decided by these three judges. Quick authors note: I’m severely underwhelmed by these judge choices. Like, I get it. But AEW could have done SO MUCH more for the judges. Either way, LET’S. GO.
One thing I love about AEW is they really focus on storytelling in the ring. I’m not saying the other company doesn’t do this; however, I think AEW does it more consistently and quite frankly, just better, than the competition. The big story of this match comes early when Page attempts to hit a Tope’ Suicida to the outside. Danielson sidesteps him and helps him into the barrier, which hurts Page’s forearm. Daniel Bryanson, being the savvy technician he is, immediately targets the arm to prevent a future Buckshot Lariat. But let’s be honest, these guys should stop trying Tope’ Suicidas.
The announce team does a good job pointing out Danielson’s arm work. They do an even better job pointing out that Bryan switched to head attacks after Hangman cut his head open on the steel steps. Because he’s the ultimate dickhead, Danielson takes a moment out of this match and grabs a drink of water. There’s just something so pure about this knowing how much this man takes care of his body. I like it. Way to come prepared, bud.
The champ decides he can’t be the only one bleeding and slams Danielson’s face into the (SteelRing) post repeatedly. Needless to say, Bryan starts bleeding profusely as well. Naturally, Hangman takes advantage of the opportunity to be a dick to a dick and ya know, get that cardio up for the rest of this match. At this point, both men are bleeding like stuck pigs (h/t 90’s JR), but Hangman doesn’t give a damn about blood when his AEW Title is on the line. After their last match, I said I could just post a bunch of GIFs to show how awesome that match was and I believe I could still do that today.
You know what? Screw it. Here ya go:
The toughness of @bryandanielson is unmatched. Watch #AEWDynamite LIVE on @TBSNetwork right now! pic.twitter.com/ZkobwtDWcK
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) January 6, 2022
The ruthless @theadampage is giving it his all! Watch #AEWDynamite LIVE on @TBSNetwork right now! pic.twitter.com/x5Ktu0HcDv
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) January 6, 2022
Neither champ nor challenger are willing to give up! It's @theAdamPage vs. @BryanDanielson for the #AEW World Championship! Watch #AEWDynamite LIVE on @TBSNetwork right now! pic.twitter.com/lSAGuADLto
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) January 6, 2022
I’ll be honest, when Danielson avoided the Buckshot Lariat and hit the Busaiku Knee, I thought it was over. I really did. New channel, new champion, and all that. Plus, Danielson’s never lost in AEW so this was going to be the crowning achievement. NOPE. Page kicks out and shortly thereafter, connects on the Buckshot Lariat and gets the win! What a match! These guys bled all over the damn place. It is quite the effort and passion they show throughout this entire match. I don’t believe it was AS good as their first meeting a few weeks ago on Dynamite but man, I want to watch these two men fight forever. They have undeniable chemistry, and I wouldn’t mind a years-long feud here. Let’s go!
BOTCH: Eye (for an) Eye Captain
MJF comes down to meet Captain Shawn Dean in the middle of the ring for their match. Right after the bell rings, this guy shows up to chase MJF off. Punk hits the Go To Sleep on Dean and that earns MJF a disqualification! Captain Shawn Dean just won a match against Maxwell Jacob Friedman! MJF grabs a mic and goes back-and-forth with CM Punk. This all sets up a match between CM Punk and Wardlow next week on Dynamite.
For years, I’ve never understood why someone wouldn’t attack their enemy’s opponent to cause a DQ for their friend. When Punk hit Dean, I popped a little on the inside. Not gonna lie. However, it was a little disappointing. Also, I’m hoping this is the throwaway segment that Wardlow has held the last few weeks. It adds up too, because they mentioned Wardlow in this segment so like, we don’t even need to see him now, right? We SURELY don’t need to see Shawn Spears and his stupid chair.
BOTCH: Well, Shit.
Welp, I didn’t get a Kingston/Jericho showdown. Antonio Zambrano knows what’s coming, right? Like, he’s been watching the show for a few weeks now, yeah? He instantly slides out of the ring, but Spears attacks him immediately, hitting Dean with a Death Valley Driver on the floor, much to the chagrin of Wardlow. In a surprise to nobody, Wardlow powerbombs the life out of Zambrano anyway and gets the win. What a double-gut punch for me. I said I’d be happy with a Jericho/Kingston confrontation and didn’t want to see the Wardlow/Spears crap. I got them both in a matter of minutes. Why does JBL hate me?
POP: TBS=That Bitch Slays
FINALLY! Finally, we make it to the end of the TBS Championship Tournament. I’ve lamented a lot that it felt like this tournament lasted forever and I stand by that. It culminates tonight with Jade Cargill and Ruby Soho, so I’m definitely not upset about this at all. Speaking of upset, I bet Jade is upset at Ruby’s new jacket. Ruby is definitely out here ready to fight. She comes out like her hair is on fire (it is orange, after all) and uses her speed to knock Jade out of the ring, where she continues to capitalize on her skills advantage. Mercedes Martinez runs down randomly but as expected, Thunder Rosa runs down to chase her off.
This was a fun fight with both girls almost taking home the gold. First, Ruby manages to kick out of a solid pump kick from Cargill. Also, can we just take a minute to appreciate how long Jade Cargill’s legs are? Holy shit. On the other hand, Ruby almost gets the fluke victory with this roll-up but can’t quite keep her down. The finish comes down to who is stronger and we all know Ruby can’t match strength with Jade. After briefly flirting with the idea of going to the top rope, Jade hits a second rope Avalanche Jaded to get the victory and become the first ever TBS Champion! Congratulations, Jade! You absolutely, 100% deserve it. I really enjoyed this match and the tournament as a whole, even if it did feel like it took us an entire year to get here. The payoff was worth it!
POP: Spitfirin’ Brian
Look. I really wanted Brian Pillman to beat all the odds and defeat Malakai Black here. I did. Plus, he came out on fire, which got my hopes up and everything. I’m a realist, though, you guys. Once the Goldberg jackhammer didn’t work for Pillman, it was just a matter of time. Black toys with him for quite a while, much like how a kitten bats around a little fuzzy ball, but eventually, he has enough of Pillman and really, the entire Varsity Blondes. He kicks Pillman with the Black Mass and gets the pinfall. He is surprisingly chased off by the Lucha Bros, which was a fun twist of events, but the power goes out and they just exchange places with each other.
POTCH: You Already Know
Another thing I really like about AEW is that what happened in the past actually happened! Before this match for the AEW World Tag Team Championships starts, the announce team reminds all of us that these two teams faced off a couple times before, most recently in August to see who would become the number one contender to face the Young Bucks for the belts. They even included a little video reminder! Awesome.
Jurassic Express pops out first, which brings me to something I don’t understand. The Lucha Bros just came out onto the ramp before being teleported into the ring by Malakai Black. Why did they go back to the back? Why didn’t they just stay in the ring and wait for Jurassic Express to show up? Oh well, what happens, happens.
This match immediately sets itself apart from most Jurassic Express matches. Luchasaurus plays a very important role in this one. Usually, we see Jungle Boy fight until he’s getting demolished, make the hot tag and then it’s all systems go. Suffice it to say, the aforementioned systems were all going from the start. My favorite move from this match came early, with this mirror image offense. The best part is easily Penta El Zero Miedo’s superkick to the back of Jungle Boy’s head. I don’t know why but I love it immensely.
Speaking of interesting moves, you really have to trust your opponent when taking a dropkick from the top rope directly to your taint. I mean, one inch above the bullseye and you’re going to be puking for three days. That wouldn’t be pretty. Anyway, Jungle Boy is a superstar. When you pair him with the Lucha Bros, it’s just the most beautiful form of live art I’ve ever seen. The Lucha Bros, too. I know I’ve bragged about watching them fly all arou–WHAT IN THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED TO FENIX’S ARM?!? No! No no no no no no no! That is grotesque! Holy shit. Uhhh…..breaking news (no pun intended). Fenix just massacred his arm when Luchasaurus put him through the table and Jurassic Express are your new tag team champions!
Well, the Fenix injury sure put a damper on the big championship win for Jurassic Express. I absolutely believe that was not the finish, but they had to come up with something on the fly. Holy shit. I have no words. I know I said I’d be happy if we had a Jericho/Kingston confrontation (we didn’t) but add the Fenix injury to not getting that confrontation AND getting Wardlow/Spears and I’m not happy at all. I enjoyed this until the last five minutes. I’m sorry, Fenix. Somehow, my love for you has led to this.
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
