IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! What a week of publicity for AEW! During last week’s AEW Dynamite: Winter is Coming, we saw Hangman Adam Page and the American Dragon Bryan Danielson go a full 60 minutes, so there’s no telling what is going to go down tonight! We are in Greensboro, North Carolina, and we all know the fans in Flair Country are CRAZY. Not only are they crazy, but it’s also the holiday season and tonight, we have Holiday Bash! What’s going to happen when Daniel Bryanson confronts the Hangman. Maybe they can just be dicks to each other for 60 minutes? I’d still watch. Anyhow, who ever happened to what? Wait, no. That’s not right. What ever happened to Who?
POP: O Come All Ye Faithful
Before I can even finish typing that intro, this guy comes out to the ring to kick off Holiday Bash with a match against Orange Cassidy. They have some pretty big shoes to fill after last week’s show-opener saw Page/Danielson go 60 minutes. Good luck, boys. As usual, OC is hype for the match and comes down to the ring just spitting fire! All kidding (and sarcasm) aside, Orange Cassidy’s schtick really does jack a crowd up and get them instantly involved. It’s amazing to see.
Early on in the match, The Elite come down to interfere. Orange Cassidy’s best friends intercept them before they can get to the ring. Brandon Cutler is able to escape down towards the ring, but OC handles him with barely any effort (naturally). When Adam Cole prophesied last week that he had a big Christmas surprise, he wasn’t lying. You see, Bobby Fish runs down to distract referee Bryce Remsburg and well … here’s what happens when you get distracted by a fish.
👀 👀 👀 !!! Tune into @orangecassidy v @AdamColePro on the #AEWDynamite #HolidayBash LIVE NOW on @tntdrama! pic.twitter.com/m5NQItsHLh
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) December 23, 2021
One quick “Boom” later and Adam Cole is victorious. After dispatching the Best Friends when they come back down to help OC, Cole, Fish and O’Reilly stand tall in the ring once again! I guess Kyle O’Reilly didn’t waste any time getting a new job. I know a lot of people are excited at this debut but to me, it kind of felt lackluster. I chalk it up to the Adam Cole and Orange Cassidy feud not being a big-time feud, though I had hoped it would end up there. When O’Reilly popped up behind Cassidy, it was cool to see but wasn’t legendary by any means. This only means one thing though, who is going to be the Roddy Strong of this crew? Brandon Cutler, maybe? They could poach him and start a feud with the Young Bucks, especially after the tension with the Bucks after this match. What’s Lio Rush doing? Throw him in there. Let’s start a new era, as one might say.
POP: Do You Hear What I Hear?
Earlier, I asked what would happen when Bryan Danielson and Hangman Adam Page went face to face again after the time-limit draw from last week. Well, it looks like we have our answer. On January 5th, live on AEW’s TBS debut, Bryan Danielson and Hangman Adam Page are going to have their rematch for the AEW World Heavyweight Championship! You all know how I feel. I’m 100% fine with the first TBS show just being a two-hour championship marathon, as I stated last week. Let them, ahem, fight forever! I am curious to see how the judge portion factors in. Are they foreshadowing another time-limit draw, thereby forcing the judges to make the decision? Also, who are our judges going to be? Ricky Steamboat? Scott Hall? Earthquake? The options are limitless!
BOTCH: Silent Night
It feels like just last week, I was bitching about Wardlow decimating an opponent and then Shawn Spears jumping in and hitting said opponent with a chair. Welp, here we are seven days later and it’s happening again. Clearly, this is heading toward a Wardlow split and hopefully, a face turn for the big guy. I feel like the crowd is ready for him to demolish Spears. Until then, however, the crowd sits on their hands and waits for it to get over…. just like all of us. Also, why does it look like Spears wastes an orgasm every time he hits someone with a chair? Poor Cassie.
POP: Hart! The Herald Angels Sing!
Seriously, just watch that video.
POP: Feliz Nyladead
Nyla Rose comes out for her TBS Championship Tournament semifinal match with Ruby Soho. Unfortunately for Soho, she’s ambushed once she enters the ring. Nyla beats the hell out of her and with the clear size discrepancy, it’s not lookin’ good for ol’ Ruby. Once Nyla tosses Soho to the outside, however, The Runaway is able to fight back a little bit, much to the chagrin of Vickie Guerrero. So Vickie does what Vickie does and pulls Nyla to safety to regain the advantage.
Things seemed to really turn in this match after Nyla hit the flying knee drop but it wasn’t enough to get the three count. Vickie even gets involved again to distract the ref after Ruby locks in the Dragon Sleeper but Nyla isn’t able to grab the victory from the ensuring powerbomb either! Ruby and her busted-ass shoulder end up kicking Nyla in the face for the win and advancing to the tournament finals on January 5th, where she will be waiting for the winner of Jade Cargill and Thunder Rosa! Make sure you join me for New Year’s Smash to see who gets Soho on the first show on TBS!
POP: All I Want for Christmas is My Two Front Teeth
Griff Garrison fighting Malakai Black goes about as well as you were expecting when you read those words. Garrison immediately charges Black and gets a boot to the teeth for his troubles. This is foreshadowing, you guys. Garrison is never quite able to get going even after ambushing Black on the outside of the ring. I’ve gotta admit, I was really hoping they would have Griff shock the world, but it was not meant to be unfortunately.
After knocking out most of Garrison’s teeth with his feet, Black gets him to tap out to a single-leg crab. Naturally, he doesn’t want to let go, so Brian Pillman Jr. decides to help out his Varsity teammate. Black is not a fan of this, as one would expect. One Black Mass later and Pillman is face down ass up just like Garrison. It was a hell of an effort, boys. Maybe instead of defending Julia against Malakai next time, just go home with her until she gets his spit out of her eyes. It’ll be a lot less painful for you, I promise.
POP: We Three Kings
Okay, after MJFTR comes to the ring, Sting is out first for his squad. Look at his CM Punk-inspired face paint. That is pretty badass, not gonna lie. Not to be outdone, Darby comes out with a pink Sting-inspired paint (and hair) style. And then not to be outdone by THAT, CM Punk hits us with the Bladerunner-inspired face paint. Holy cow. They had to be in the make-up chair all damn morning! That was a pretty neat surprise that I wasn’t expecting.
On the other side of the coin, the things that don’t surprise you – MJFTR aren’t wearing any face make-up. They do have matching yellow tights though. So that’s something. The match starts off with MJF testing CM Punk’s cardio by baiting him into a foot chase. This little game of tag ended up going out through the crowd too. Punk seems to be out of breath for the rest of the match, which is okay since he’s not alone. These Trios matches are also a great way to incorporate 483-year-old Sting into the match. But let’s be clear, he was doling out punishment just as much as anyone.
Man, I’m still blown away by the amount of destruction Darby Allin puts on his body. Or in this case, the amount of destruction that FTR puts on his body. Watch how he bounces out of the ring on this:
The brutality of #FTR on @DarbyAllin!!! Watch @CMPunk/@Sting/@DarbyAllin v @The_MJF/#FTR NOW on the #AEWDynamite #HolidayBash LIVE on @tntdrama! pic.twitter.com/S49Q2tD4Us
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) December 23, 2021
Just insane that this man is still alive. Speaking of being thankful someone is alive, Sting jumping off the top rope to the outside is terrifying to watch. But man, was it awesome! The finish comes shortly thereafter. As CM Punk lines up MJF for the Go To Sleep, Dax pushes MJF out of the ring and eats the GTS himself. What a hero. What he did not anticipate and account for though, is Sting waiting to give him the Scorpion Death Drop. With Harwood decimated in the ring, Allin takes advantage and drops the coffin on a prone Dax for the victory.
This match was a lot of fun. I know some of the greatest to ever do it were in the ring, but I was impressed by everyone’s effort here. Sting barely getting on the top rope without falling was scary, as I mentioned, but man, that payoff was totally worth it. Let’s not forget the face paint stuff, too. One hell of a Christmas Main Event, I’ll tell you that much. Send the crowd home happy as they say! Merry Christmas everyone!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
