IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! We are only one week away from Blood & Guts. The best thing about it is there are other stories/matches to look forward to also! AEW does a great job of weaving multiple stories in together and independently of each other that it’s literally fun for everyone! If you know someone that watches AEW and they can’t find something they like, you just let me know. I’ll fight ’em! Also, if they didn’t watch this week’s AEW Elevation & Dark, it’s your responsibility to fight ’em and make them watch! At the very least, get them to read last week’s Dynamite column so they know what in the world is going on in the AEWniverse! We roll on!
POP: The Galloping Goofball
We start out with the runnin’ horses for Hangman Adam Page. While he’s on the ramp, he gets blindsided by Team Taz, who start beating the hell out of him. Page’s surrogate family, The Dark Order, come out to even the odds. Refs push everyone to the back except Page and Brian Cage so Cage powerbombs Page on the ramp. Well, this escalated quickly.
The ref checks on Page and realizes fighting hurt is the Cowboy Way so he starts the match. Naturally, Cage dominates early in the match. And in the middle of the match. Luckily for us, and Hangman, he finally takes control after a flying moonsault to the outside. Alas, it was not meant to be as Cage interrupts the Buckshot Lariat to finish the match with a wild Powerbomb into a buckle bomb (RIP Sting) into the Drill Claw. I ain’t gonna lie, y’all, it was pretty dope. Yes, I’m a middle-aged white guy.
I’m much too lazy to go back through all my P&B’s to see if how often I complain or criticize about Brian Cage but he didn’t just look like a million bucks tonight. He was a million bucks. He manhandled the Hangman from pillar to (SteelRing)Post with innovative offense and pure strength. The one or two times Page was able to get to him, he basically said no and retook control. This was a great match to start off the show and again, Brian Cage, hat tip to you my friend. You earned your money tonight, bruh.
After the match, we find the Elite hanging out in a smaller limousine. They look cramped as hell, don’t they? For some reason, Karl Anderson isn’t wearing pants but then again, why would you even wear pants when crammed inside of a vehicle with six of your best dudes? Callis introduces the new Impact World Champion, Kenny Omega, and his friends. Omega says he’s giddy but feeling pissed off about last week. He’s upset about his trailer getting smashed by Mox and Kingston. Don’t they know how much of their own money was spent on that trailer? Hopefully, it has more room than the limo! Omega warns everyone he’s not going to be intimidated or scared. A horn goes off like last week, which scares the shit out of the Elite, but it turns out Nakazawa pushed the wrong button. Omega announces Kingston is going to go one-on-one vs. Michael Nakazawa later on.
POP: Sydal Family Squash Recipe
The Sydal Brothers come out to face AEW’s very own tag team champions, the Young Bucks. Blonde Buck coming out here looking like a Walmart brand 90’s HBK. This match is clearly not for the tag straps and Excalibur explains to us early that if the Sydals win, they will get the next title shot. Anybody who’s been watching … other companies will tell you this most certainly means we have a Sydal win tonight. After hitting a (hilarious) low blow on the less-famous Sydal brother, the Young Bucks team up to hit the dreaded BTE trigger for the aforeshadowed (new hybrid word alert!) Young Bucks win. Well, shit, if the Sydals lost, who is supposed to be the #1 Contender for the Young Bucks’ Tag Team Championships?!?
Oh. SCU. SCU is next. Okay, that was fast. After getting cold compresses and cold spray for their bruises/sore muscles (courtesy of Young Boy Brandon Cutler), SCU comes out to interrupt the Bucks’ “celebration“. Kazarian and Daniels go absolute ham on the Young Bucks, even going as far as making fun of how they dress. They challenge the Bucks for the tag straps and storm off but they did mention if they lose again, they will no longer be a tag team. Stakes!
This match and the aftermath was very fun. As we all know, I’m very big into fast, innovative offenses. We got all that and more in this match. The best part is that they closed the book on the Sydals and then effectively and logically started up the SCU feud. It was a quick turnaround but I loved it. Having the added dimension of SCU losing and not tagging together adds intrigue and motivation on to both sides. Let’s go!
POP: Penta El Zerorange
The beginning of this match was hilarious. I know there’s a lot of people that can’t stand Orange Cassidy but he and Penta El Zero Miedo did a great job of making this start out fun. Penta kept mushmouthing Orange whenever he’d try and put his hands in his pocket. Eventually, Cassidy was able to get ’em in the ol’ jeans. And then he hit an arm drag…without using his arms! Once that was out of the way, this match was a banger. These guys have a great chemistry for two dudes who were fighting for the “first time ever!”
Late in the match, Alex interrupts on the microphone. Before he can finish saying whatever he was going to say, Cassidy grabs him and pulls him in the ring. This gives Penta the change to go for the package piledriver but OC, slips out, grabs the microphone from Trent and hits the Orange Punch using the microphone. Everybody cheered the guy that cheated. The End.
I enjoyed this match also. I love Trent holding the ropes for OC and him just rolling under the bottom one anyway. Who knew someone could get so much mileage out of this particular character. It’s fantastic. Penta El Zero Miedo did a great job as Cassidy’s foil. I’m super stoked they had a winner and not any sort of schmozz finish, microphone withstanding.
Next up, we get the Blood & Guts Parley in the middle of the ring between The Inner Circle and The Pinnacle. Tony seems legitimately scared and asks them to play by the rules during the Parley. Tony prepares to flip the coin to determine who gets the one-man advantage next week. Shawn Spears knocks the coin out of Tony’s hand and grabs the mic. He tells Sammy Guevara that Jericho is leading him down a dark path. Guevara grabs the mic and points out that Spears is a failure in AEW and he was a failure where he used to work. Sammy tells The Pinnacle they can have the advantage and that he’ll start the match and fight everyone.
Dax and Cash address Pride & Powerful. Cash calls them soft and begs them to bring a better version to Blood & Guts next week. Dax gets all personal and tells Santana & Ortiz to hold their kids tight, kiss them goodbye and tell them that Uncle Dax wants to tell them, “Daddy’s not comin’ home.” This enrages Santana and though he wants to murder The Revival, he says he’ll handle it in the cage next week with his hands.
It’s MJF’s turn as he tells Chris Jericho that he’s coming for the crown on his head and his spot in the company. He goes after Jericho, thanking him for what he did for the company and vows to look at his demolished body next week and will tell him thank you then too, for the spot that MJF is going to take. Jericho doesn’t appreciate MJF assuming he will get Jericho’s spot. He cuts a vicious promo on MJF about earning a spot. Jericho explained how each of his guys have contributed to The Inner Circle and how knowing and working with these guys makes their family superior to The Pinnacle.
I absolutely can not wait for this Wednesday. This Parley has roped me in further than I thought possible. I don’t know what the next level in poker is after all in, but I’m there. In deep.
POP: Making an Example
Eddie Kingston comes out on the stick to face Nakazawa, who is already in the ring with his laptop and a steel chair. Kingston tells him to leave and calls out Kenny Omega. Omega comes out with Don Callis to tell him just because he asks for the champ doesn’t mean he gets the champ. He tells Kingston he has to deal with Nakazawa first and Nak hits him with the laptop behind. This might surprise you but Eddie easily gets the upper hand and puts Nak’s ankle in the steel chair. Omega tells him Nak knew what he was getting when he signed up and calls out Young Boy Brandon Cutler to come beat up Kingston .
Cutler comes flying out of the tunnel looking a little disheveled and beat up. Kenny doesn’t seem thrilled when Cutler comes crawling out but he looks even less thrilled when Moxley jumps him from behind and throws him in the ring. He applies a sleeper and they put his ankle in the chair as revenge for what they did to Eddie last month. Kingston tells Callis he’s going to break Kenny’s ankle if he doesn’t give him Kenny in a tag match next week. Mox says he wants Kenny and “this little dipshit with a laptop” as soon as possible. Callis agrees they can all fight next week.
Kingston is hands down, the best mic guy in the business. That’s not hyperbole, I really believe that. Even when he’s just clowning Nakazawa, it’s funny. The dude is hilarious and his delivery makes everything he says into the microphone count. You can’t teach that (sorry Enzo) but Eddie doesn’t need to be taught. He has it.
Taz calls out Christian Cage in the back and tells him he’s going to get his ass whipped by a different member of Team Taz since Cage was able to capitalize off one mistake that Powerhouse Hobbs made. Christian says that Taz used to be a badass who talked big and backed it up (he ain’t lyin’) but now he just talks big and never backs it up. Cage says to send ’em all one on one and he’ll beat them all. It’s then that Team Taz will realize they are better off without Taz. Now all I want is for them to kick Taz out of the group but still go by the Name, Team Taz.
BOTCH: Alien Revenge
The Newlyweds, Penelope and Kip Sabian, hit the ring so Penelope can redeem herself on Kris Statlander. We haven’t seen Penny on Dynamite since Statlander popped her right in the face during Arcade Anarchy last month. Penelope has been on a roll on Dark and Elevation but it’s time to face a higher quality wrestler in Kris Statlander. Statlander didn’t come alone; however, as she brought out a banged up Orange Cassidy with her. This match went back and forth for a little while. Throughout the match, Statlander proved to be too big and too strong for Penelope. Kip tried to interfere but the Orange Cassidy Effect was in play as he pulled him off the apron…nonchalantly. Statlander theorized a Big Bang on Penelope and folded her up for the three. To add insult to injury, which Statlander very clearly wanted to do, she had the gall to stare at Kip and boop Penny’s nose in the middle of the ring. The nerve!
I hate to Botch the only women’s match on the card this week. Unfortunately, it was a pretty basic match. Also, the announce team briefly mentioned their history but didn’t delve into it or make it seem important in the scope of this match. It felt like filler. I did not like that.
POP: Unio, Dosio, Trio!
Aaron Solow, Nick Comoroto and QT Marshall(oh) arrive in style to face Billy Gunn, Dustin Rhodes and Lee Johnson. The Factory comes rolling in off the Nightmare Family’s Nightmare Express bus. As they get in the ring, The Nightmare Family jumps them immediately. Both teams came out fighting. In a really good back and forth match, Big Shoddy was able to get the advantage for The Nightmare Family. He flew around hitting everyone. Unfortunately, he didn’t hit Anthony Ogogo. As Shoddy was getting back in the ring, Ogogo hit him with a body blow on the ring apron. For good measure, he gave one to Billy Gunn on the outside. Johnson rolled in the ring and was immediately pinned by QT Marshall for the win.
After the match, Comoroto hits Dustin with the cow bell. I think we can all blame Christopher Walken for that. As The Factory leaves, QT starts to brag but the two Gunn Club kids attack, chasing QT back to the bus as The Factory and The Gunn Club beat it out in the ring. As Marshall opens the door, Cody returns! He kicks AT in the face and beats the brakes on him outside of the bus. Marshall makes his way to the top of the bus. Cody, not afraid to follow, attacks him as Aubrey joins them to try and break it up. Cody locks on the figure four and QT immediately taps out. Cody pulls out a page from the Lex Express book and celebrates on top of the bus as we cut away.
This match with the history of the competitors was treated how I wanted the women’s match to go. It was a perfect blend of action, storytelling and character work. We also got a big superstar returning, which makes it even more imporant at the end. Not that Bull Nakano should’ve returned or anything but I wanted to feel this way about the women’s match and I’m sad I didn’t.
Kip Sabian is in the back and confused why everyone’s making a big deal about him and Miro. He says there’s no problem and walks into the locker room where Miro is eating an apple. He goes next-level Carlito and just throws the apple at Kip. He beats him up for a minute and tells him its time to pay his dues. He slams Kip’s hand in the door. I guess Kip can’t jac play video games anymore. Miro is a savage! He grabs Kip and holds his head, telling him he forgives him. Miro says, “good talk” and leaves the room.
POP: The Half Face of TNT!
For the fifth straight week, Darby Allin (with his emo daddy, Sting!) is in the ring to defend his TNT Championship Title. This week he draws Ten from the Dark Order. Earlier in the show, they showed a clip of why Vance is so motivated to knock off Allin tonight and bring the TNT championship back to the Dark Order. Vance wrestling as the big guy was a refreshing change of pace for him. I know I’ve said it a lot in Darby Allin matches but I stand by it. I just love when he gets to make other small wrestlers look/act/feel/wrestle like a big man. The flip side of that, of course, is that nobody wrestles a little man match like Darby. He just knows how to use his size, speed and smarts (the three S’s, a sequel to Kurt Angle’s three I’s!) to take advantage of a bigger guy. For instance, using his weight to stand on Ten’s hand and using gravity to make himself weigh more as he throws his body off the top rope.
Out of nowhere, All Ego Ethan Page attacks Darby and throws him into the (SteelRing)Post. Vance tries to get the pin but Darby kicks out. Vance goes for the Full Nelson and Darby tries to gouge out his eye instead. Ten is able to lock it in when Darby tries a slingshot Coffin Drop. After rag dolling Darby, Vance gets a little too close to the corner and Darby is able to counter the Full Nelson into a pin for the three.
The two men hug in the ring and in a touching moment, Darby rips off Vance’s Brodie armband and holds it up. Page shows back up and while Darby is distracted, Scorpio chopblocks the knee of Sting. Page jumps Allin from behind and they attack the emos. The Savior Murderhawk Monster comes out alongside Vance and runs off the dirtbags to close out the show.
I’m really interested in the story of Archer and Sky/Page. Now that they’re attacking Sting/Darby, where does Archer fit in? I can’t ever say enough about a Darby Allin match. The kid just gets it. I hope they shoot him to the moon sooner rather than later. Give him Kenny Omega and let him throw himself at Omega so often he has to go back to the Alpha.
Anyway, that’s it for me today! Enjoy your week everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. Wrestling united!
