Maki Itoh tries to submit Riho - AEW (YouTube)

Pops & Botches: AEW Elevation & Dark – 3.15.2021 & 3.16.2021

 

It’s like when you order a coffee, but they messed it up, so they gave you both the one they messed up and the one you originally ordered. Read on for a fully-loaded double-double recap of both March 15’s AEW Elevation and March 16’s AEW Dark.

Last time on Dark…

p

Fuego del Sol and QT Marshall met in an epic battle. We saw the Tornado DDT! Taz and Anthony Ogogo argued about tea. It was a brilliant episode. Catch up in our March 9 recap.

Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…

Last week’s Dynamite was the venue for a betrayal we never saw coming! Well, we all knew MJF was going to betray Jericho and vice versa, but nobody expected MJF and Wardlow to join the Tully Blanchard/FTR/Shawn Fucking Spears gang! Ethan Page and Lee Johnson duked it out and it was fine. Scorpio Sky hinted he might follow QT Marshall to the dark side. Lots of great stuff for fans of storyline.

Being the Elite episode 247 finally looked like the episode where Dark Order would stop talking about their dicks. Alas, it was not to be. Matt Hardy ate more grapes. Then he fed The Blade a grape. Then he crushed the grapes, and The Butcher ate the grapes that were crushed. I might not be a deep enough smark to get this reference, but this absurdity is exactly what I love about pro wrestling. Ortiz had a nightmare featuring Alex Abrahantes as Freddy Krueger taking out the entire Speaking Spanglish crew. Excellent episode.

Sammy Guevara’s vlog episode 311 opened with a suitably grandiose recap of the QT Marshall/Fuego del Sol battle. Dustin Rhodes gave Fuego a great pep talk. Powerhouse “Ladies’ Man” Hobbs walked off with Thunder Rosa and Dasha, once again thwarting Carlie Bravo and Baron Black’s attempts to socialize in the workplace. We also got to see the bloody results of (spoiler!) Preston “10” Vance versus Jack Evans.

Let’s move on to the Darks. I’m not yet sure how to structure this column for two shows, so for now it’ll be a double column, starting with Monday Night Elevation then moving on to Tuesday Night (OG) Dark. Please let me know what you think by commenting below or saying hello on the Discord.

Let’s take a look at the Monday night debut. It’s Elevation, episode 1.

Bring up the lights, it’s time for… Elevation? Eh. I’ll work on it.

FINE: It’s just fine

Opening our brand new show is “The Radioactive Papi” Danny Limelight versus Jungle Boy. This is two of the best Dark has to offer, putting on a legit dark match in front of a hot Dynamite crowd.

Paul Wight (aka Big Show) is on commentary with Tony Schiavone.

Also, since I am not watching it live, there are about a thousand YouTube ads popping up all over the place in the middle of the match. I BOTCH ye, YouTube! BOTCH BOTCH BOTCH. One for each match interruption.

Back in the ring, Limelight and Jungle Boy are having a solid bout. Wight is fairly dry on commentary. It’s a far sight from the jokey chit-chat of grumpy New Yorker Taz and indie wiz Excalibur.

I mean, this is a good match. It’s the right match to start the show with, because guys like Jungle Boy are the future of the promotion. It’s just not much different to OG Dark. Jungle Boy wins by Snare Trap submission.

FINE: More interruptions

Next up we have the team of “The Best Man” Miro and Kip Sabian versus OG Dark jobbers Baron Black and Vary Morales.

Sabian and Morales get into it, small beautiful guys doing small beautiful things. Black tags in and… FUCKING AD BREAK. They seriously, seriously need to tweak their monetization settings for this show, because interrupting matches mid-flow is some bullshit.

Anyway, after I stop swearing at YouTube, Miro is in the ring and throwing Morales around like a ragdoll. He is angry, but he’s still enough of a gentleman to let Sabian get the pin.

POP: Welcome back, promos!

Okay, here’s our first hint that this isn’t regular Tuesday Night Dark. Alex Marvez is in the back with a mic. He interviews QT Marshall, who cuts one of those obligatory promos where he pretends he didn’t just turn heel.

MEH: Swole returns, wins

Next up, it’s Big Swole’s big return! In the other corner, Skyler Moore.

Swole is angry too, and taking on rookie hoss Moore is a good opportunity to let some aggression out. She almost gets hit by a flying YouTube advertisement, and when the action comes back Moore is dominating. Moore is pretty green, but she looks tough and takes the bumps well when it’s time for the comeback.

There are so many ads it’s almost impossible for me to enjoy anything tonight. But I think if I watched this without ads I’d still be a bit meh on the match. I dare say I’m more of a Li’l Swole fan than a Big Swole fan.

POP: Stunt tries to get revenge

QT “Totally Not A Heel” Marshall has drawn Marko Stunt for his first post-Fuego bout.

QT dismissively tosses Stunt across the ring, which only serves to piss him off. Stunt hits some high-flying offense to show he’s more than just a comedy guy, then QT catches him, throws him back up and backbreaks the hell out of him. Perfectly executed.

QT Marshall is pulling out all the FTR spots here, looking as oldskoolishly dastardly as a wrestler could be. Stunt comes back with a brief flurry of cool shots, including a very slick Canadian Destroyer, but QT puts him away to further his storyline.

This is the first really great match of the night. And we get a run-in from the Pretty Stable, who look to be angling for a fight with Jurassic Express. Then Tony Schiavone lets us know that on Tuesday Luchasaurus will be facing Cezar Bononi. I’m down! Let’s go! Elevate!

POP: Shotty gets a package!

We get a package showing the new YouTube viewers just how good Lee Johnson is. As Dark watchers we been knew, am i right? Still, it’s cool to hear a bit more from him. These packages could go a long way toward putting over the younger guys and midcard.

POP: Conti tries out some new stuff

Tay Conti is taking on Ashley Vox.

Conti switches up her opening moves a bit this time, coaxing Vox into the corner then flipping backwards over the ropes to put her into some kind of armbar. I’m not sure how logical it is, but it sure looks cool!

The lack of experience with martial arts commentary comes out when Conti starts hitting moves from her judo arsenal. Wight refers to a sequence of what Taz would call seoi nages as “ripping that shoulder right outta the socket”, which I suppose a 7 foot man could be prone to doing when he throws his opponent to the mat.

Vox gets a bit of offense in, but this one is a Conti squash.

POP: Yoga bros get a W

Yoga bros Matt and Mike Sydal are facing no-name jobbers Jorel Nelson and Royce Isaacs. The on-screen graphic says they’re 0 and 1 in 2021, but I don’t remember them at all. A quick Bing (yeah, that’s what you get for showering me in YouTube ads, Google!) shows me that these guys sometimes work together as indie tag team The One Percent.

Isaacs takes Mike to the mat. Matt comes in to help his brother and hits some aerial tricks and submissions to soften up Nelson. Matt doesn’t take advantage – he gets isolated and stomped on instead.

But it’s all good, since it lets Mike swoop in to save the day. He’s delightful to watch, every move crisp and clean. He brings Matt back to hit a team finisher and get the win.

POP: Hobbs gets to talk!

Alex Marvez is back to interview Powerhouse Hobbs and Taz’s kid Hook. Hook sulks while Hobbs delivers a not-terrible promo. He says he’s going to handle “town business”, but then the camera cuts away to…

POP: Opening the burn book

… Dani Jordyn, baby! The Real Mean Girl is one of my favorite jobbers. She was the COVID era’s Christmas MVP with her Jingle Bells Rock entrance. I wonder how Wight and Schiavone will react to her? She does a lap of the ring, taking time to give a nod to KiLynn King and D3, who are on the heel side of the crowd with Vickie Guerrero for some reason. She’s facing Red Velvet.

Schiavone is getting into the groove now, and he puts Jordyn over like he does with Britt Baker. I’m beginning to think he likes mean girls. In the ring Jordyn and Velvet have a solid exchange. Jordyn shows off her Burn Book (“I’m not afraid of eating cake!”), then takes Velvet down for some ground and pound.

Later on, Velvet escapes and somehow runs away with the win in a match that felt abridged, somewhat.

POP: It’s Kenny!!!

I suppose it leaves us time for Alex Marvez to interview the Sydal brothers! Am I going to recap all of these interviews in the future? Probably not. But this is the first episode, so here you go.

The yoga bros act douchey as hell, right up until Even Bigger Douche Kenny “The Cleaner” Omega makes a surprise appearance with Don Callis and Michael Nakazawa in tow. This is a treat – I never get to write about Kenny!

Kenny puts over the new Elevation show, then sets up his own challenge: Sydal has to beat Nakazawa to earn a non-title match with Kenny, which if Sydal wins, then he gets an actual title shot! What kind of byzantine asshattery is this?

POP: Future of the business

While Nakazawa gets changed for action, Top Flight’s Dante Martin enters the ring to take on The Acclaimed’s Max Caster.

Caster cuts a terrible and offensive rap, then amusingly has his mic shut off while he tries to come up with more tired-ass yo momma bars. Wight and Schiavone don’t get it at all, and I never missed Taz more than I do right now. Someone needs to stick up for the shitheads!

Schiavone does let us know that the reason Dante is also flying solo this week is because brother Darius is injured. These poor, lonely, tag team boys. Maybe they’ll fall in love and form an odd couple team while their partners recuperate? 808s and F-16s. Sigh.

My daydreaming gets busted as the kids brutally demolish one another in the ring. Both competitors are young and have plenty to learn, but they’re full of beans and smash into one another in wonderfully exciting ways. Future of the business!

Caster sneakily distracts the ref with his ghettoblaster, then pops Dante up for a kick to the nuts, flying elbow drop and it’s done. What an asshole!

BOTCH: Someone bite Wight

Looks like Abadon is getting a push, because she’s back for the third week running to face new talent Ray Lyn.

Lyn has an oddball stance that makes her look like a comedy wrestler. Schiavone and Wight spend most of this match not talking at all, which is weird, but I suppose there isn’t much to say. Lyn plays the horror movie victim fairly well, but she doesn’t have much moves of her own to make it interesting.

Abadon gets the win. Not sure if she’s getting a bit over-exposed or if the commentary didn’t sell it well, but it didn’t work for me this time.

POP: Short and sweet

Ah, here we are, Powerhouse Hobbs has made it down to the ring after his earlier promo. He’s facing Brandon Cutler, who is looking for his 10th AEW win.

Hobbs looks overjoyed to be getting a chance to actually fight someone in a match that isn’t a 2 second squash. He has trouble keeping his Team Taz patented angry face on, but I don’t care. Dude chases Cutler round the outside, then the two of them exchange strikes in the middle. Hobbs puts Cutler into a bear hug, but the DM elbows his way out and hits back with all of his springboard specials.

Hobbs unleashes the Town Business for the win.

POP: Diamante! Diamante! Dia-maan-te!

Diamante has a solo bout too this week versus jobber Leila Grey.

Diamante sends the rookie straight to the mat. KiLynn King and friends start a new crowd chant for Diamante that I’ve never heard before, which I hope takes off. It pumps up our champ who brutally takes Grey down.

A Code Red gives Diamante the win, and the extended time these wrestlers are getting allows her to pull off her shotgun mime at the cameras. She never looked so badass!

POP: Matt Hardy’s Guys

It’s an 8-man! Matt Hardy’s growing stable now includes The Butcher and The Blade, so paired with Private Party they need four jobbers to kill. They get Nightmare Factory trainees/alumni Carlie Bravo, Dean Alexander, Brick Aldridge and David Ali.

Dude, BB&B get pyro! Private Party get smoke! Big Money Matt is sparing no expense to shock-and-awe these jabronis.

David Ali does a good job taking all the flashy Private Party offense. Alexander is a less interesting victim. Aside from Bravo, who is slumming it today, Aldridge is the most developed character of these Nightmare Factory jobbers, bringing dude-who-wants-to-tell-you-about-some-bullshit-IPA realness. The Butcher ain’t got no time for craft beer. He eats squished grapes. He flattens Aldridge, then rolls him out of the ring where Allie beats the shit out of him too.

In true AEW fashion, everything falls apart toward the end, it’s a big mess, and David Ali has to eat the pin. Carlie Bravo didn’t even get tagged in. It’s not clear if he got injured or what, but it’s cool, I like him better with Shawn Dean anyway.

POP: Naka! Naka! “MT” Nakazawa!

Here we go! Michael Nakazawa is here to wrestle and he didn’t even get changed! He’s still in his beige slacks and corporate polo from the previous segment. It seems he’s fully embraced the character of Kenny Omega’s production assistant. Matt Sydal comes out, already spent from his previous match, and is promptly hung up on the ropes. Naka chokes the psychedelic técnico with his ID badge, setting up a great comedy sequence with ref Rick Knox.

Then Nakazawa takes his belt off. Everyone’s expecting the tearaway khakis and a screen full of pink bikini bottoms, but he subverts our expectations by choking out Sydal again! This guy is an underrated gem.

Eventually Sydal pantses Naka – no pink banana hammock today – then swiftly kicks the hapless PA in the head and pins him.

… Only for Kenny Omega to run in and beat the shit out of Sydal with Nakazawa’s Macbook. Then Omega tells Knox that the non-title match is starting now. Ding ding. One Winged Angel. 1, 2, 3. BAHAHAHA!

It’s the first time we’ve had a Kenny Omega “match” on Dark and of course it’s my match of the night.

To stretch out the melodrama, AEW owner Tony Khan walks out of the face tunnel to lay down the law and book a real match between the two on Dynamite. You guys. Wrestling is so dumb, and I love it.

POP: Joshi joshi revolution

Our main event is Maki Itoh versus Riho in an epic joshi throwdown!

I have to admit I’m not really on the Maki Itoh hype train. I understand why she’s popular – she’s cute, she’s got that foul-mouthed gimmick to subvert the cute, and her story is that she’s a loser that’s been rejected by everyone… But she doesn’t have the ring chops to pop me, and I don’t really buy an underdog story coming from someone so universally popular to start with.

The match starts out with a bunch of Itoh’s comedy spots. Riho makes a few nice escapes, but it’s mostly Itoh from the bell. The tide turns when Riho hits a crossbody to the outside, a 619 and then another crossbody in the ring. Riho also shows off a Northern Lights suplex, which is a legitimate work of art. I think only Penelope Ford has a comparably sharp suplex in AEW.

It’s a competitive bout throughout. Itoh hits several headbutts and pushes Riho into some uncomfortable-looking submissions, but in the end the former champ comes back with a double knees and pins the fan fave. Fantastic headliner for this first episode.

This is the last we’ll see of Maki Itoh in AEW for a while, but getting her over here definitely paid off insofar as getting people interested in the women’s division again. Now, I wonder if Ryo Mizunami is still in the US?


First thoughts on Elevation? Well, Paul Wight ain’t much of a commentator, but I’ll give him a break because it’s his first outing. I’m not sure Schiavone can keep it interesting by himself either, though. He should go back and watch Excalibur’s solo commentary of the first round of the Women’s Eliminator Tournament (Japan side) for inspiration.

But the good news is that outside of the commentary this show is giving the midcard and undercard a lot more time to shine. They’re getting to cut promos. Even just something as small as letting their entrance music play a little longer, or letting them pose after winning a match, it adds so much depth to their characters. If there’s one big winner of Elevation, it’s the wrestlers themselves.

Anyway, scoot forward another day… We still have OG Dark to go! Go make yourself a coffee. Episode 80 is here.

Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.

… Some kind déjà vu, huh?

POP: Daddy meets the dino

Excalibur and Taz are pumped full of energy for OG Dark. I missed you guys! *sniff*

Our opening match is Cezar “Daddy” Bononi versus Luchasaurus. Bononi hauls in Pretty Peter Avalon on the newly-christened Love Sleigh. How could they make the gimmick any creepier? That’s how!

Bonini and Luchasaurus are hoss-a-rific. Lotsa thundering punches and heavy crashes as the ring bounces and flexes under the weight of the big boys. Bononi has been taking some lessons from PPA, showing a mightily GIF-able incredulous face after missing the pin fall.

Luchasaurus wins it. It’s fine. It’s hokey. This is OG Dark, for sure.

POP: Too legit

Big signing news of this week is that “Legit” Leyla Hirsch is All Elite! She is one of my faves – great music, great character, great moveset. It’s a well-deserved signing. She’s facing Savannah Evans.

Evans is a hoss, and quickly suplexes my fave. Her moves are pretty basic, but when you have that much weight on your opponent who needs technique? Evans utterly clobbers the Russian to open. “Too legit” Hirsch comes back with a double knees and then an explosive suplex.

Our new signee gets the win with a juji gatame arm bar, then has some sharp words with Vickie Guerrero at ringside. Is a showdown with Nyla Rose in the future?

FINE: John Silver does something

Next up we have Dark Order’s John Silver versus forgotten forgotten son John Skyler.

Skyler is actually a decent wrestler. He just has a generic, forgettable look about him. He gives Silver a good challenge, but this is Silver’s.

NOT BAD: The superbad girl is back

Holy crap! Penelope Ford is finally wrestling again! She is facing Tesha Price, who is growing on me.

Price attacks boldly, hitting a great back elbow to push Ford outside. That turns out to be a bad move, as the superbad girl swings her round on the apron and slugs her right in the face. Price gets a few more shots in, but soon she’s hit by Ford’s pop-up cutter and it’s over.

Not the greatest match either of these two have had, but not bad.

POP: Chaos ensues

Oh yeah! It’s Chaos Project! They’ve got the jobber duo of Jake St Patrick and Fuego del Sol. This is pure AEW Dark fan service.

Luther smashes St Patrick, then tags out to Serpentico. Serpentico looses a few strikes before Luther comes back in to bash his skull against St Patrick’s. Oh, Luther.

Fuego del Sol makes the save and comes in to great fanfare, hitting a bunch of moves on both opponents. He even hits the Tornado DDT! Alas, his success is short-lived, as Chaos Project hit their finisher and take the win.

POP: King spinning and spinning

It’s fun watching Dark after Elevation, because all the stars in the crowd who didn’t show up on Monday will surely be here Tuesday. Tonight we have KiLynn King versus Jazmin Allure.

Allure starts off quickly, darting about and trying to cut down her bigger opponent. King looks a little shy to unload on Allure. She might be training up as a hoss, because her moveset is slower and more deliberate in this match. Lotta big boots. But then King grabs Allure by the legs and spins her round and round – 10 spins! That’s a fun move.

King hits her Kingdom Falls finisher for the win.

POP: Short, sweet and messy

Excalibur says “it wouldn’t be AEW Dark without the Dark Order”, but he’s wrong. It wouldn’t be AEW Dark without an 8-man versus a random bunch of jobbers! We have Colt Cabana, Alan “5” Angels, Evil Uno and Stu Grayson versus Angel Fashion, Vary Morales (again!), Baron Black and Occult Pro Wrestling Star RYZIN. It’s mayhem!

Morales gets completely destroyed by everyone in Dark Order. The gang then briefly stop clobbering him to do a raised hand spot, which gives him an opening to escape and tag out to Ryzin. Ryzin has a decent go of things, then tags out to Black, who eats the pin.

UH: Blink and you’ll miss it

The Gunn Club are also a fixture of OG Dark, and appear tonight in their trios form. Their opponents are David Ali (pulling double-duty!), Adam Priest and Seth Gargis.

I actually alt-tabbed away from this match for a few seconds to post something on the Discord, and when I came back Austin Gunn was pinning David Ali. Guess he really was tired, huh?

POP: Wham bam, thank you ma’am

I’ll keep my eyes glued to this one, promise! It’s Bear Country! Versus the double-duty-pulling Dean Alexander and Brick Aldridge.

Boulder puts Alexander up on the turnbuckle, then grabs Aldridge and uses him to headbutt his partner. Then he lifts both of them on his shoulders and drops them on the mat, where they get set up for the sandwich finisher.

This was a squash match with emphasis on the “squash”. I suppose that’s a good use for people pulling doubles.

POP: The best jobber

Nick Comoroto is also in action tonight, versus the charming Italian jobber, Roman centurion designation D3.

D3 is rightfully scared of the wild man, and ducks away from a few of the attacks, but eventually he’s body-slammed. The pair of them have some great back-and-forth as D3 ducks in and out trying to connect with some quick strikes, but Comoroto is unstoppable. D3 is definitely one of Dark’s best squash victims, he looks really good losing.

Comoroto kills the Roman with a powerslam.

CROMULENT: Perfectly

Next up is the Varsity Blonds versus Jorel Nelson and Royce Isaacs.

Brian Pillman Jr starts it off with Isaacs. Then Griff Garrison joins in for a nice two-man suplex. Isaacs is getting killed. Eventually The One Percent turn the tides and get Pillman in the corner.

When Pillman escapes, Garrison gets the hot tag and cleans house. He hits the Falcon Arrow, but it’s not enough. Somehow Pillman hits a flying elbow and takes the pin. I’m not sure when he tagged in, but who cares? Very middle-of-the-road match, but that’s comforting sometimes.

POP: All-indie showdown!

Thank God we have jobber music again, because we have a Texas indie special: Madi Wrenkowski versus Vertvixen, both of whom have banging synthpop entrances. God, I miss nightclubs. Sigh.

Fortunately we have wrestling to help us through the pandemic. Wrenkowski comes in hot, taking Vixen down for a quick pinfall attempt. Vertvixen quickly escapes, then they exchange blows. These two have a good rhythm together. They seem to be more comfortable facing one another than they are versus the regular AEW talent.

Wrenkowski hits a brutal axe kick to get the win.

POP: “I’m sure there’s some tough baristas out there”

Next up is SCU versus Carlie Bravo and Aaron Solow. I miss Bravo teaming with Shawn Dean, but Solow’s a pretty good substitute, especially for this match that we know they’re going to lose.

SCU have pyro, bro. Fire! Christopher Daniels looks like he’s having blast. I think he knows this is his last big run before retiring, or at least stepping back from the spotlight. He has a really good opening sequence with Bravo.

Frankie Kazarian and Solow take the next act. It’s technical. It’s clean. Excellent work.

This whole match is a “serious wrestling” clinic. Lots of counters, lots of crisp moves, it’s exactly my kind of thing. Definitely my match of the night. The Best Meltzer Ever gives SCU another win.

POP: Tag team tension

Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela are back in action this week versus Team Taz’s Brian Cage and Ricky Starks. Lotsa pyro. Let’s go!

Kiss and Cage have a nice staredown to start. Kiss and Cage both worked on Lucha Underground before, and they are real fun to watch together. I definitely enjoy it when Cage is given the chance to show some speed and agility and get out of the hoss pigeon hole.

Janela and Starks have a more traditional pro graps punch-up. Janela tries to hit a tope, but The Machine catches him and drops him on his head instead. Back in the ring Starks hits a slam. Lordy, Janela is getting thrashed here. Sonny Kiss gets the hot tag for another great exchange with Cage before he eats Starks’ spear and lies down for the 1, 2, 3.

This is the best both teams have looked in months. Team Taz are definitely more fun having full-length matches, and Sonny and Joey are great opponents for them.

The whole match is threaded through with some tension between between the partners on both teams. After the match they all share some heated words, perhaps setting up future storylines.

UH: Well, it was something?

Our second main event of the evening is “Dragon Killer” Jack Evans versus Preston “10” Vance of the Dark Order. Negative One joins us on commentary. Oh, jeez.

10 gets Jack Evans into a vertical suplex then tosses him about like he’s made of packing peanuts. Evans has been epicly de-powered for this match, hitting a whole bunch of nothing except for a corkscrew kick. Negative One is slightly less obnoxious on commentary than the past few weeks – he finally lets Excalibur get a few words out and even comes up with an amusingly earnest reveal about how he isn’t actually speaking to Tony Khan on his headset.

Angélico runs in. Evans hits a low blow, then the Phoenix Splash… But 10 still kicks out! Somehow he’s gushing with blood by the end of the match and gets the win. Man, I don’t know. These Negative One-adjacent matches are weird.


Wow. That was a ton of wrestling. I’m not sure I can recap 2 hours on Monday and 1.5 hours on Tuesday every week. But for this week it was thrilling to get to see two different, side-by-side takes on what Dark could be. Elevation plays it a bit more straight and seems focused on putting people over, whereas OG Dark is weird and quirky as ever. In both cases the talent are now getting more time to highlight their personalities, which is something I am very much here for. Good stuff.

Dynamite this week has a little less going on for Dark fans. We do have Rey Fénix versus Angélico in a Lucha Underground throwback match, though! Jurassic Express and Bear Country will also be teaming up versus Matt Hardy’s Guys.

I hope you all enjoyed this massive, double-sized recap! Let me know what you think, and if we should be looking for a better way to split up this column. I’ll be here next week to give you more of the lowdown of everything that’s been happening on AEW’s YouTube world.