What’s up, smarks? You may know me from my Pops & Botches on late WCW Nitro, but today I bring you something different – The Underground Recount. I’ll be looking at Lucha Underground, the unique American luchador promotion that took the IWC by storm when it aired.
A Long Time Ago, In A Country Not So Far Away
We open with a guy in a hoodie in a fight – he’s at a disadvantage. Luckily for him, Green Lucha (who I’m not sure if he’s an established person or just a stock standard lucha) saves the day.
He then talks about the ancestors, the 7 tribes, the legacy being left behind. You know, standard Tuesday. It might seem like a bit much now but I’m sure we’ll get finer details as time goes on.
We’re then shown footage from Triplemania XXII, in which one Dario Cueto enters the ring, telling us that he has a temple for luchadores to compete against each other in America. He offers a lot of money.
Imagine how it must have been watching Triplemania, the biggest event from AAA, and then this asshole comes down to the ring telling you he’s got his own thing in America. As you’ll come to learn, Dario Cueto is an asshole.
Let’s Enter The Temple
We start with a scene that I can’t say I’ve ever seen in another promotion, where a band plays us in. Well, ok, it doesn’t sound so extreme when I say that, but normally live bands in wrestling from my experience play some hardcore rock, dude. I don’t know what this style is called but it sure ain’t that. Not that I’m complaining in any way.
We’re then introduced to our announce team – Matt Striker, teacher turned wrestler turned commentator. Look, if I don’t get this off my chest, it’ll drive me mad, so just indulge me: I have to say he’s a very handsome man. I wouldn’t have to say this if the camera didn’t keep cutting to a weird angle where he’s all up in my face.
Not to undersell the other guy on the booth, we have lucha legend Vampiro who I haven’t seen in ring but I will eventually on my Pops & Botches Nitro reviews, so. Go check those out.
Dario comes out. Commentary put him over – Matt says he can’t find much on him online and Vampiro says he’s Spanish, not Mexican, and for that people don’t like him. It sounds like a random offhand comment but it builds his character further as this asshole outsider who’s playing where he doesn’t necessarily belong.
He says he’s opened the doors to the best fighters in the world, because this isn’t a place where the kids cheer for the heroes! I wasn’t a wrestling fan at the time but I imagine this must have sounded vindicating to the fans fed up with Super Cena at the time. Anyhow, the wrestler who impresses him the most in the right tonight gets a signing bonus of 100k.
The Inaugural Match
Dario tells us the first match is between two men with wrestling in their blood, and he’s not lying. We have Blue Demon Jr, the adopted son of the famous Blue Demon and Chavo Guerrero Jr., nephew of the late great Eddie Guerrero and of course reigning from the long line of the Guerrero family.
The ref of this match is Rick Knox, who you may know from AEW or even before then, PWG. Chavo has the speed advantage and even hurts Demon’s knee, but ultimately Demon locks on a submission. When asked what Chavo would be going through, Vamp answers “Pain. Hella pain.” I think Matt wanted a more detailed answer, but that’ll do as it’s the end of the match.
Back In The Office…
We cut back to Dario’s office, where he has a very special guest: Konnan. Dario is pleased he’s here to work for him, but Konnan says he doesn’t wanna work for him – it’s all about the money. He’s here to show Dario the best fighter in the world.
Dario has news of his own, though. He’s signed a star who’s gone by many names, but here? He’ll be Johnny Mundo. Again, let me be coy: He’s highly aerial, he’s a wrestler named Johnny who has a constantly changing last name. Who else could it be?
Anyways, Dario exposits that Johnny’s only here for money and fame and has no respect, so he wants Konnan’s man to make an example of Johnny – and maybe he can get the 100k bonus.
We then get a video package on Konnan’s acquisition… Prince Puma. You may know him nowadays as Ricochet. Konnan tells us a little more about those 7 tribes we heard about earlier: each tribe had a champion, and they were the original luchadores. The mask in lucha libre represents the ancient Aztec luchas taking the head of their opponents. Puma’s blood comes from one of those tribes.
A Mixed Challenge
Next up, we have an intergender match. Son of Havoc vs Sexy Star. Before it, we get some insight into Sexy Star. She had a rough upbringing, but Lucha Libre called to her, giving her confidence and meaning to life. She fights for all the girls who are afraid or unconfident in the world, because every woman is sexy and every woman is a star. It made me feel for Sexy Star, but then I remembered she has done things in the past like shoot on Rosemary’s arm, so there’s not much sympathy here in retrospect. For the sake of covering the product with as little bias as possible, though, I’ll try my best to look at Sexy Star as a character and not as the person she is in real life.
Son of Havoc says he won’t wrestle a woman because they don’t belong in the ring with a man and asks her to leave the ring so that she can get DQed and live to fight another day. She complies, but it’s a trick because as soon as he turns his back, she ambushes him.
Sexy Star gets in some offense, but Son of Havoc really wrecks her shit and gets the win by pulling her tights. Son of Havoc was a really hateable misogynistic heel here, so thumbs up. Or down, because you don’t cheer the heels. You know what I mean.
Chavo in Trouble
We see Chavo backstage, quietly seething after his defeat. Dario comes in, asking why he didn’t win. What’s more, he tapped out. He embarrasses him, telling him he didn’t make it sure his family was the number 1 and asking what his family would think. He also isn’t getting the 100k, further insult to injury. Since Chavo couldn’t get the job down, Dario has to bring someone else in next week who can do the job, but once that guy is here, no one can stop him, not even Dario. Hell, maybe even a thousand deaths will happen. Wink.
The Main Event
Time for the hyped up match of outsider vs lucha prospect. Johnny hasn’t had a match in 3 years here. Well, looking at Wikipedia, he was on the indies, but those weren’t televised and maybe not as intensive as being signed is.
Puma and Mundo have great chemistry, and I don’t think it’s just because of the dichotomy of veteran vs upstart. I think he helps bring out the athleticism in Johnny whilst as a performer Ricochet has been criticised of being too choreographed or working too hard, but I think Johnny sets a decent pace with him here.
It’s a pretty good match, I don’t know if words can really do it justice, just go watch it if you can. Should be free on Tubi if you’re an American, and I’m sure it’s on other services. There’s a great spot where they take it to the outside and all the way to the announce desk, Matt and Vamp stand up and get out of the way so that they brawl between the two.
Johnny ends the match with an End of the World, or a Fin Del Mondo. Got to admit that move looks more spectacle than kayfabe damaging, but I won’t complain. The two tear the house down, having the crowd and both commentators standing in applause. Matt is also wearing a suit and jean combo. Matt, you may be hot, but you can’t get away with that.
There’s honour between Puma and Mundo as they embrace and raise each other’s hand. Dario comes out, looking pissed. He’s got the suitcase, the crowd tell him to make it rain. He opens it up, saying Johnny’s earned it… But he shuts it and backs away. Johnny runs after Dario with the suitcase in the ring which looks comical, but he and Puma get jumped by two dudes led by Ezekiel Jackson – uh, Big Ryck.
Dario informs us not only luchadores perform in this ring, but the best FIGHTERS full stop. The heel triad get the money as the show closes. ‘Welcome to Lucha Underground’, Dario says. A corrupt world where he’s on top.
That closes the first edition of Lucha Underground. This edition may have been a bit short because I did see the first 2 episodes very recently, so I didn’t want to sit through the full things to review them, but once we’re past the first two episodes, there should be more detail. Until then, I’ll see you here, for more Underground Recounts.
