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Pops & Botches: AEW Dynamite – 9.23.2020

AEW Dynamite News Pops & Botches

 

Rest in Peace Road Warrior Animal. May your shoulder spikes be adorned with halos.

POP: IT’S FINALLY MIRO DAY!

It’s time for the in-ring debut of the Best Man, MIRO! Not just my best man, not just your best man, but THE. BEST. MAN. Miro debuts with a killer new shirt! The Red White and Green colors alone, I see the bulk of Italian-American men owning this shirt within the next year. Salvatore Sincere, with proper merch, THIS COULD’VE BEEN YOU.

Mama mia?! MAMA MIRO!

OF COURSE Sabian starts out the match to keep us salivating a little bit longer as the crowd chants WE WANT MIRO. They take this further by having Janela and Kiss almost working a heel tag-style, cutting the ring in half and dominating Sabian with frequent tag-ins. Finally he gets the hot tag! He destroys Janela with…this thing, which is kind of like Baron Corbin’s End of Days, only without ever leaving his own feet.

I’m only realizing as I watch just how strange it feels to introduce a new signee via a tag team match. It’s better than the standard squash that typically comes with it, but it also is extremely restrained. Miro gets held back by the ref, gets double teamed, and never really gets a chance to make an impact like we know he can. Nice little detail over Miro turning the match around being a Best Man, and saving Kip from a double team assisted tope, throwing Janela into Kiss and knocking him off the ropes. A muay thai kick and an Accolade on Kiss seal the deal for Miro’s first win in AEW.

Big announcement that later tonight we’ll see Moxley vs. Kingston for the AEW Championship. This is replacing Lance Archer who came into contact with someone with Covid last week and unfortunately tested positive for it. GET WELL SOON, MURDERINGHAWK!

Miro and Kip aren’t even off the set when Eddie Kingston storms out, demanding a mic and the hard camera. He has to talk to the people at home and “all you morons here.” He reiterates, in case you haven’t heard, HE WAS NEVER ELIMINATED FROM THE CASINO BATTLE ROYAL and that’s how he earned this shot. He takes shots at Jon, saying he and Moxley used to be cut from the same cloth. Then Jon sold out, while Kingston stayed with the fighters and outlaws, and didn’t sell his soul to the devil. “Where are you, Sports Entertainer?!” This draws Moxley down from the back and immediately goes nose to nose, only for refs and crew to break them up.

This begs the question…does Moxley just enjoy hanging out at the back of venues?  I mean, this wasn’t the time he was scheduled for his match, ready in position for his signature entrance. Kingston just called him out out of nowhere, but Moxley was already in position. Does he just need isolation and meditation before a match? Solace that can only be achieved by outskirts of an outdoor amphitheater? I would not be opposed to adding this to his official characteristics. Tony Schiavone always being out of breath having to rush to the venue’s perimeter for an interview, for example.

POP: Handicapped match between Hangman vs. Evil Uno and that DAMNED CHEATIN’ REF

Kenny Omega comes out for commentary, who mentions that the match of was originally offered to Omega as a tag match, which he declined. Jim Ross keeps shitting on his outfit, which delights me for some reason. Omega claims on commentary that the tag team side of him is dead. “Our goal was to beat everyone, we didn’t make it, that’s fine, nothing to be ashamed of.” More passive-aggressive ex-B.S. from Omega. IT’S OKAY THAT YOU STILL LOVE HIM, KENNY.

Great chyron gag for Page “Apparently sticking with the long pants”. I concur, some wrestlers just look better in tights than trunks.

The Dark Order hang on the ramp for the duration. Adam Page gets a neat gripped bridging suplex, which I like seeing from a medium sized guy. Remind us how strong they are every now and again. Uno does some great innovative chickenshit heeling by grabbing the ref around the waist and hiding behind him, and getting an involuntary enziguri assist from the ref (He’s in on it, dammit.)

Hangman gets knocked to the ramp, where the Dark Order prowl like jackals towards him, leading to commentary asking Omega what he’ll do. He hesitates, before Uno sends them to the back himself. Nice tease of what would Omega do?

Uno nails a senton atomico leading to a weak barely a kickout at 2 that commentary does their best to cover saying the leg was hooked improperly, of course due to Uno’s exhaustion. Again, little things that help the believability and basis in reality. Buckshot lariat for the pin! Omega bails before needing to encounter Hangman.

Backstage segment with Schiavone and the Young Bucks. They start by quickly opening the door and making poor Tony flinch. Matt apologizes for the recent superkickingses of company staff, saying they’ve gone through and lost a lot the last few weeks. Friendship issues, etc. Tony tries to ask about FTR, which Matt passes on. Tony asks another question which leads to Matt asking for Tony’s phone, which he promptly shatter the screen of. Dick move.

POP: Orange Cassidy vs. Brodie Lee (c) for TNT Championship

This is Orange’s first match for any title in AEW! On commentary they’re quizzing Tony about his phone, asking concernedly if he keeps his data on the cloud. (Thank the lord, he does. Dark Order are back out in force with Brodie, including Uno still selling his back.

OC goes for his massive kick sequence only for Brodie to stomp his foot. Check out this GREAT sequence where OC attempts to suicide dive the entirety of the Dark Order, only for them to catch him, and sacrifice themselves by holding him up with Brodie goes for his own suicide dive, taking out all of them.

Dark Order pounce on OC every single time he gets thrown out.

Jim Ross refers to Brodie as “Bruiser Brody-like” roughly 15x during this match. Someone needs to Fonzie style bop his cowboy hat and get him to quit skipping.

Brodie continues pummeling OC through the commercial break. He goes mini-Brock Lesnar (despite being taller than Bork. Go with it.) by throwing repeated Half and Half suplexes. He tees up OC several times for the discus lariat, only for OC to collapse out of the way. He goes for a boot only for OC to dodge and go for a pin. He was playing possum! He gets his first wind on the offense with two suicide dive, takes out the entire Dark Order and lands a diving DDT on Brodie. Commentary puts over how he lured in Brodie and was now picking the bones. He FINALLY nails a tiltawhirl DDT on the 3rd attempt and gets a nearfall. He goes for the Orange Punch only to nail an interfering Silver. Brodie scouts the 2nd attempt and counters with a power bomb and a lariat for the win.

THE LIGHTS GO OUT! THIS CAN ONLY MEAN ONE THING!

Sorry…got a little carried away there.

Spooky red swirling lights on the KhanTron, who comes out…IT’S CODY! All in with Jet Black hair no less. Best I’ll say, the black really distracts from the neck art abomination of his. Cody has returned from gazing into the blackness of TV GameShow Judge hell and is back to inflict it on the AEW roster. (Historians will recall Harley Race’s similar reign of terror after appearing on $10,000 Pyramid in 1975.) Cody destroys all of the Dark Order while Brodie realizes he is urgently needed in the backstage production stage.

Brodie drops a pretty decent promo, calling Cody a punk who let’s his wife post thirst traps on Instagram. (Prudish Brodie Lee could lead some interesting places). He challenges Cody to a dog collar match via Johnny Cash quotes, which somehow seems like a perfect complimentary combination I’d never considered until now. There may be a market for “Challenge Sommelier” out there. Like, Johnny Cash quotes for Dog Collar Matches, Smashing Pumpkins lyrics for Steel Cage matches, or (as we’ll see soon), an undeserving rookie calling a legend a BITCH of some variety for a singles match.

BOTCH: The Bat-Man Cometh

Matt’s out to address his backstage attack from last week. And it’s his birthday! Matt’s been trying to think who’d have the motivation to attack him like that. Ala Sherlock Holmes, he lays out the suspects. He’d had a disagreement with MJF. A discussion with Brodie Lee, about the TNT championship. His long issues with the Inner Circle. He knows he was hit with a bat by someone in a mask. Yet moments later, Hager and Jericho saunter up, Jericho with a bat, making him suspect number 1. Private Party were so close to beating them last week, but lost due to that same bat. Jericho tried to take it too far and put them in the Walls of Jericho after the bell. “You want to be known as the demo God, but you’ll always be known as an asshole.” OUCH.

This brings out the Inner Circle. They drag out Chris’s theme song for the crowd to chant along. (Again, this is your weekly metalhead reminder, nobody likes Fozzy but wrestling fans.)

Jericho says Happy Birthday Matt, but who gives a shit. Brings up Sammy Guevara being laid up because of Matt. Destroyed him. And beat him. And Annihilated him. And nobody knows when he’s coming back. But guess what, I lied, he’s coming back right now! (I really love this). Jericho starts his own Sammy chant before embracing his Latin God stepson, bring the Inner Circle back to full force. He continues to talk shit, denying being Matt’s attacker. Isiah Kassidy takes the mic to take control and….oh boy…

Isiah takes the mic to handle this himself. He points out, though Jericho beat him, Isiah has almost beaten him twice. He challenges Jericho to next week one-on-one. Jericho is a legend, but what-if a 23 year old kid from the streets of Brookyln beats Chris Jericho. What if next week, “I make you my Le Champion Bitch?” (What?) Eh, Isiah stepped up to the plate on this promo and got promptly thrown out at first. That’s fine, this is how people get better. That was just pretty weak and awkward.

Misunderstood POP: A Moment With Top Guys

FTR and Tully are out to shit-eating-grin their way through a segment, announcing next week a 20 minute match against SCU with some interesting stipulations. In a blast from the past arrangement, if the challengers don’t win in a 20 minute time limit, FTR get a check in the winner’s column. This interview is clunky as hell, but I LOVE the reintroduction of pay into the storyline. Back in the olden days, many wrestling companies pretended the payoffs were like boxing, with a larger winner’s purse, and a smaller loser’s purse. This would provide plenty of motivation for otherwise heatless matches. The champ wasn’t always avenging a stolen jacket or some perceived slight; he’s a professional paid to fight, he fought for the belt because he got paid much more as the champ. I remember when Kevin Owens was brought to the main roster, many people wanted his character to embrace the “Prize Fighter” aspect of his persona. He wasn’t JUST a heel because he was bad, he was a family man who wanted to support his family by any means necessary. That meant being the champ, that meant the biggest paycheck, that meant the winner’s purse. Simple motivation that often gets stripped in favor of the cheesiest drama injections.

(EDIT: Hey guys, guess what?  I’m an idiot. The “check” involved literally only meant that if the challengers don’t beat them in 20 minutes, it counts as a win for FTR and not a draw. I stand by my stupid idea, so I’ll leave me idiocy up anyway and hope the idea shines through)

Dax calls out Best Friends as number 2 contenders, and a bunch of backyard garbage wrestlers. This brings out Chucky and Trent to defiantly rebut, “Nuh uh!” and challenge them to a match RIGHT DAMN NOW. The match appears about to begin when Cash puts on the brakes, saying Best Friends are still healing up, they ain’t 100%. Maybe heal up a few weeks, give Tully a call, “We’ll see if we can get you kids a title shot.” This brings up a lesser heel-tactic that hasn’t been done in many years. I’ve complained repeatedly that over in the standard-bearers, the WWE, they build to a match between Kevin Owens and Seth Rollins by having Kevin Owens vs. Seth Rollins EVERY. SINGLE. WEEK.

FOR A MONTH.

And by the time you get to PPV, nobody cares anymore. The classic heel tactic of giving the fans a match they want to see, only to stall and hold it off is classic booking 101. Makes the fans more likely to buy a ticket, more likely to tune in next time, makes you root for the babyfaces and hate the chickenshit heels.

Botches with a Lemony Garnish of Pop: Hikaru Shida and Thunder Rosa vs. Diamante and Ivelisse

Huge shoutout to Thunder Rosa with the Road Warrior Animal inspired facepaint.

LOL to Tony saying how NSYNC Ivellise and Diamante are in-step with one another as they confuse the timing on a double kick spot.

The poor crowd is dead for this one. I have to be honest, I’ve felt a little bad that the past few weeks, the women’s matches have been my least favorite segments of the show. I struggle to come up with anything to say about them, and calling them “serviceable” feels like an unintended slight against them.  The matches have been fine, but just that. Fine. They’re just missing…”something”. There’s no urgency to the match, just going through the motions.

This goes out the window once Shida gets the tag. She brings an energy and urgency that’s been missing the whole match, even pausing to get the crowd clapping along.

Great spot where Shida goes for a failed Falcon Arrow attempt (seriously, half this match is failed Falcon Arrow setups), leading to Diamante sliding out of the way just as Thunder Rosa accidentally nails her own partner with a running knee. This throws the momentum to DiaVillese for a moment until Rosa breaks up a Diamante Code Red long enough for Hikaru Shida to hit a Falcon Arrow (FINALLY!) and a running knee for the win.

We rejoin Le Champion Bitch backstage, where he shows a little bit of respect for Isiah Kassidy as someone who’ll be a big star for AEW someday…but not next week. The only “Shots shots shots” he’s gonna feel are from my left and right hands.

MJF sidles up to kiss up to Jericho, calling Kassidy’s little insults “deplorable”. Jericho sells MJF’s title as the “Uncrowned AEW champion”, which MJF thanks him for. They take turns calling each other great before simultaneously asking “So why did you call me a loser?” They both blame their loser limo drivers who almost caused them to crash. They both mock Schiavone. (I can’t do this great segment justice, just watch it.) God, it’s like looking in a mirror. (Or looking at someone looking in a mirror).

Perfectly Adequate Pop: Eddie Kingston vs. Jon Moxley (c) for the AEW Championship

Some good meat-and-potatoes strikes-n-suplexes, tough guys toughing through the pain RASSLIN’ BRAWL!

Brawl to the outside, Kingston throws Moxley through the timekeeper’s table. During the TNT commercial break, they note it is ringside Doc Sampson’s birthday as well, leading to JR to incredulously ask “Is it EVERYBODY’S BIRTHDAY?” After Xcal explains the company has a lot of birthdays in September, JR quips, “Means they’ve had some busy Januaries”. If you’re only watching on TNT on picture-in-picture, you’re missing some real golden moments of not giving a shit.

The match ends with, of all things a Moxley sleeperhold (!), putting Kingston to sleep before he can even tap out. The Lucha Bros come out to attack Moxley, which brings out Will Hobbs to defend his man. Darby Allin comes out for good measure too, which brings out Ricky Starks, which brings out Taz. The show goes off the air with the group posing, while Kingston poses over Moxley’s body.

Final Grade: POP, with a side of Botch

Great episode, kept stories moving, some great matches denied until another day. Unusual botches in the form of Kassidy’s weird promo and the lackluster women’s match. Also unusual botch in how I wrote a long ass paragraph on winner’s purses in wrestling due to a misunderstanding. Pobody’s Nerfect.

Follow Jesse @jessedraham on all the things.  Listen to his ridiculous literary podcast “I Hate Infinite Jest” if post-post-modern-literature and pro-wrestling are inconceivably your two favorite things. You odd duck, you.

     

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