How much wrestling do you like? A lot of wrestling, I hope. So much wrestling happened last night that it took till the afternoon to recap it all. It’s definitely not due to your hump day correspondent sleeping in, no siree. Read on for our recap of the July 28 bumper edition of AEW Dark.
Last week on Dark…
Sabby showed that a cute nickname can’t stop hard men from grimacing like the Dark Knight. Ricky Starks was revealed to be under the wing of commentator and manager Taz. The Butcher and The Blade showed off why they deserve to be top of the card by extending the flawful run of Peter Avalon and Brandon Cutler. Revisit all the pops and botches in our July 21 recap.
Glued to the boob tube
It’s taken a week for me to recover from jet lag, but I still have a second week of self-isolation ahead of me. What do real humans even look like? I have been keeping my interpersonal skills sharp by marathoning episodes of Being The Elite. I pity the first person who I speak to post-quarantine – they will face a torrent of dated Bucks-themed memes and wrestling in-jokes.
To wit: our first match of the night.
Follow along with Episode 44 on YouTube.
Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.
POP: Lore of the losers
What’s the deal with FTR?
Well, it’s a reference to a three-year-old bit from Being The Elite. The Revival were dominating over in NXT, and the Young Bucks were dominating in NJPW and ROH. Cody had a running gag where he’d pop up in unrelated BTE segments yelling “Fuck The Revival!” This become a hashtag, then it was woven into a cease and desist storyline. Eventually the gag got old and The Revival went to the WWE main roster to die.
Now FTR is back, so rivalry with the Bucks has been rekindled, for the few fans who still care.
So what’s the deal with Brandon Cutler & Peter Avalon?
Cutler is a real-life buddy of the Young Bucks who became a semi-regular camera operator for Being The Elite, and was a key part of selling AEW as the ethical alternative when he was given a contract in a touching segment prior to Dynamite going on the air. Avalon is chap from the SoCal indies who took part in a year-long BTE storyline about how Tony Khan wanted a librarian gimmick on his new wrestling show, and who would be dumb enough to accept? (Answer: Leva Bates went all-in. Avalon still acts curmedgeonly, but the viewers know he secretly loves it.)
Back in February (BTE Episode 192), Cutler and Avalon got into it over who had the losingest record in AEW. This kicked off a running gag where Avalon would pop up at inconvenient times to rub Cutler’s latest loss in his face. The Bucks encouraged them to team up, so over the past few weeks on Dark they have been sharing their losses and becoming 2020’s most lovable jobbers.
Even if you never watched BTE, its clear which of these tag teams has the better storyline. It’s also clear which one is going to win the match.
BOTCH: The Initiative roll again
Brandon Cutler & Peter Avalon enter with a fresh team name – The Initiative. Cutler rolls his D20 (for initiative) and then FTR arrive to kick nerd ass.
The Young Bucks are on the sidelines, because really this match is about trying to build interest in the FTR/Bucks feud. I think using Dark matches to help build a storyline for Dynamite is a good idea, but in this case I have so little interest in the main storyline that it felt like a waste. Cutler and Avalon have much better matches against teams with more character.
POP: Pie Napple Pete and the merry men
Michael Nakazawa and Pineapple Pete are called to the ring with a cheerful introduction from ring announcer Jason Roberts. Their opponents are Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela. Y’all know this match is gonna get messy in the best possible way.
It takes all of 30 seconds for Sonny to be suspended on the ropes with Nakazawa’s head between his ankles. Naka sets up to oil his head for an escape but Janela swipes the bottle and gives Sonny’s ass a generous squirt instead, which causes Naka to lose his grip and allows Sonny to power up his “kiss my sass” attack. The ring is wet, so Sonny slips into a splits when cart-wheeling over to finish the job. This gives Naka a chance to tag out to Pete who slips and slides his own way around the ring.
Joey Janela eventually straightens things out and they get a few minutes of serious wrestling in ahead of Naka pulling out his underwear. Janela redirects it into Pete’s face, then sets up Sonny for a painful-looking top rope splitting leg-drop finisher.
Top-notch comedy wrestling and my match of the night.
POP: Scary monsters
Skyler Moore is up next, our sweetheart heroine. She faces Abadon, who crawls in on all fours with full-blown busted VHS video effects and terrifying horror movie make-up.
Abadon sells the monster gimmick heartily, constantly screaming and staring – it’s legitimately frightening.
Moore lays her out with a mean-looking DDT, which turns out to be setting up an Undertaker sit-up, followed by a zombie neck-unsnapping spot and demented crawl toward the stunned blonde.
Moore initially plays the victim, trying to flee from the match altogether, then subverts the trope by coming back strong. Abadon’s got the better look for Dynamite, though, so she gets the win here.
MEH: Yet Another Glove Promo
Spears does a fantastic straight-at-the-camera promo which sounds really good but doesn’t really say anything. Something about wrestlers are living in the jungle, us viewers could never understand it, he’s wearing the glove for self-defense, I don’t know.
You gotta give it to the guy, he earnestly pursues whatever gimmick he gets.
Spears would probably make an excellent straight man for a comedy partner, so it’s too bad the storyline about him finding a tag partner died with corona.
Tully Blanchard has been sitting ominously in the crowd for the past few Darks, though, so perhaps they are building to something here.
POP: Dark presents: Hobbs and Shawn
In a nod to Discord community commenter Blissco Inferno, who came up with this wonderful pun a few weeks ago, the Dark bookers team up Shawn Dean with Will Hobbs.
They’re up against Evil Uno and Stu Grayson of Dark Order, who come out with the whole gang in the background to watch over the battle like it’s a Mortal Kombat tournament.
Grayson starts out by kicking the shit out of Dean. Uno continues the clobbering. Hobbs gets the hot tag and hits Uno with a punishing spine buster. He follows by (almost) catching Dean and running him corner to corner for an Oklahoma Stampede power bomb.
It’s not enough, though, as in the end Dark Order take it with their Fatality finisher. They will face Hangman Adam Page and Kenny Omega on Dynamite for the tag team titles.
POP: Good clean wrestling
Corey Hollis walks in looking all oldskool and Southern. Scorpio Sky walks in with a bit of pyro and SoCal vibes.
Nice bit of serious wrestling here. Slow start, clean moves. Everything Sky hits looks good. Dropkick to the head, Hollis rolls out. Hollis trips Sky on the apron and comes back with some solid offense in the ring.
They go back and forth for a while. Hollis makes a great Stundog Millionaire counter then goes for a flying attack. Sky lifts his boots to catch Hollis in the face, TKO, and it’s all over.
Scorpio Sky matches are consistently good-looking wrestling. He has that NXT-esque skill of creating strong enough matches that he doesn’t particularly need a story.
BOTCH: That finish, though
Penelope Ford comes in with Kip Sabian, Kenzie Paige is the opponent.
These two have a fairly tough, hard-hitting match. The highlight is Taz and Excalibur’s utter failure to find the words to describe Ford’s garter belt, then putting over Raché Chanel in an acknowledgement of their ignorance.
Ford’s off-the-ropes finisher doesn’t quite hit, so she pulls Paige back off the mat to re-finish with a decidedly less awesome fisherman suplex.
Decent developmental bout, but it missed something to make it memorable.
BOTCH: Monster squash number one
Aaron Solow walks in to an excellent hip-hop stock beat, and that’s the highlight of the match. Wardlow arrives to loud guitars and screaming, but his music doesn’t matter because he’s here to squash.
Solow gets in a few flurries of kick-based offense, but this match is all about Wardlow no-selling, slowing down the pace and doling out a massive lariat. Rick Knox calls a rare knock-out finish, and of course our monster of the week doesn’t care so comes back to drop a few F-10s on the kayfabe unconscious body of Solow. Ick.
POP: 2 Dark 2 Order
The Dark Order is back! This time featuring Alex Reynolds and John Silver, the duo whose employee numbers I forgot.
Now that I have watched BTE, I know these two to have a much funnier storyline than appears on Dark or Dynamite.
The current BTE Dark Order storyline features Reynolds and Silver going around trying to recruit wrestlers from the roster by getting them to literally drink the Kool-Aid. Everyone refuses – Orange Cassidy most hilariously – and their constant failures drive Mr Brodie Lee up the wall. The Exalted One takes out his frustrations by smacking Evil Uno over the head with stacks of paper.
Of course, this has now become a shirt.
Got a text from a California number earlier telling me someone approved this shirt and a guy named Matt will pay me in some odd back handed ways……I do not approve of this shirt. https://t.co/ELY9ZRDSjI pic.twitter.com/XDqYHxasyV
— Brodie Lee (@ThisBrodieLee) July 28, 2020
Which is all to say that post-BTE me is in for these two underdogs getting another loss, since it means the big, bearded cult leader will unleash more Office Max offense on his hapless number one.
Best Friends come in to do the deed.
A great sequence is Trent’s valiant comeback where he eats a bunch of boots and elbows from Silver, standing up and asking for more.
Trent takes the diminutive minion out with a clothes line and goes for the tag, but Reynolds pulls Chuck out of reach! Trent gets suplexed first by Reynolds, then by Silver, then kicked in the face and smashed to the mat by the both of them. Silver makes the cover and it’s one, it’s two, but no!
After the hot tag Chuck Taylor hits Silver with the Falcon Arrow. Nobody kicks out of the Falcon Arrow!
Silver kicks out of the Falcon Arrow.
Fortunately Chuck also has an Awful Waffle in his arsenal, and gets the win.
BOTCH: Monster squash number two
I am not a fan of big men in wrestling, and Lance Archer in AEW hasn’t done much to change my mind. He’s been hyped as the meanest dude on the block, but I just don’t care about his story.
Archer walks in carrying the limp body of someone who I suppose he already attacked backstage. He wanders around the ring mumbling unintelligibly and hitting this week’s in-ring victim Frankie Thomas. Somewhere along the way he knocks out some other guy in the audience. There is a chokeslam and some skull-cracking for the win.
Not my type of thing at all.
POP: Orange meets Serpentico
This week Serpentico fires his streamers at the camera crane, which probably pisses off the camera operator but makes for a great shot.
Orange Cassidy saunters in, lackadaisical as ever. He steps to the side as Serpentico falls flat on his face. This leads to a full hands-in-pockets lucha routine, the two of them jumping out the way of one another till Serpentico is caught with the arm drag.
Serpentico gives Orange a few decent strikes to wake him up, and it seems like he might get the surprise win after a superplex… but then Orange does a blink-and-you’ll-miss-it casual pin outta nowhere. It’s so good.
Serpentico gets up a bit miffed, so Orange superman-punches him to drive the point home. Great match.
BOTCH: Sammy’s return
Sammy Guevara is back in action after his suspension for some insulting shit he said as a younger, more insufferable version of himself. He faces the luchador Fuego Del Sol.
Guevara has the rare opportunity here to be the big guy in the match, which means Del Sol gets tossed around. Del Sol has some aerial chops, so he makes it look good, and Guevara gets the chance to preen and pose the way he always did.
Somehow that annoyed me. I do love the character of Sammy Guevara, but I feel like coming back after a suspension it would’ve worked better to show a bit more humility or vulnerability. This isn’t a bad match, but I was hoping for something a bit deeper.
Guevara takes it with the GTH.
POP: Triple threat spot-fest
Private Party cut a promo with Matt Hardy before entering the ring for the triple threat tag match against SCU and Santana & Ortiz. Matt Hardy is in Big Money Matt mode and advises them to get over so he can stay over, and get the win “by any means necessary”. I’m not sure where all this Matt stuff is going, but perhaps we’ll find out on Dynamite.
Kazarian and Kassidy start it off, but the tags come quickly and it’s all a bit chaotic.
Santana & Ortiz seem to emerge as the strongest through the start of the match, but can’t finish it off. Private Party power up next, hitting a Silly String and some Hardy Boyz moves. They manage to pin Ortiz, but Santana pulls the ref out of the ring! This gives SCU a chance to mount a noble burst of offense. Everyone goes flying, Ortiz kicks Quen in the balls and then it’s all over.
BOTCH: Two hours of Dark
Really, we don’t need two hours of Dark. Episode 44 had plenty of high points, but two hours is really pushing the limit for undercard and developmental wrestling.
Annoyingly, this week they didn’t put YouTube chapter markers either, so you can’t even easily jump to the matches that interest you.
If you made it through the whole episode, or even if you just caught a few highlights, let us know your thoughts by commenting below!
Since it’s already Wednesday afternoon as we post this, pop into Discord for live commentary on Dynamite and NXT, then loop back here for all the pops & botches. See you soon!
