IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! Before we get started, I want to beg you for money. Ha! It’s not even a joke! I have volunteered with Special Olympics since I was in the 8th grade. During the pandemic, we lost a lot of fundraising opportunities, so ya boy is gonna throw himself into an ice lake. If you can donate, I’d greatly appreciate it. If you can’t, please share this link on your socials for me and my friends down at Special Olympics. Thanks!
Now that we have that out of the way, let’s discuss this little ol’ wrasslin’ progrum we’ve all come to enjoy. Last week, AEW Dynamite was for the dogs. Well, technically it set up March 6th as an event for the dogs but whatever. CM Punk announced he and MJF will fight in a dog collar match and boy, oh boy, is that going to rock my face off. Speaking of animals, the American Dragon continued his ascent into a modern day Mr. Miyagi. Wait, is a dragon considered an animal….? Anyway, I really hope he and Mox form up to start an amazing Matsuda-style training regimen where they twist all these newbies into knots, just beating the shit out of ’em as they go. That would be fire! I think that’s what the kids say. I don’t know. I also don’t know whatever happened to Aguila?
POP: Crown Royale
We start off this week’s AEW Dynamite with a 10-tag team battle royale! You know I love me some battle royales so I am instantly hype right now. Don’t judge me. The action is fast and furious, too. I hope I can keep up! The winner of this gets their spot in the AEW Revolution triple tag team match for Jurassic Express’ AEW World Tag Titles. The Blade gets sent out pretty quick, courtesy of Johnny Hungee. So now we have ourselves a match!
Right after that, the Gunn Club becomes the first team eliminated, both by Santana. Billy is not a happy papa on the outside. The Butcher derps himself over the top trying to attack the Best Friends. It’s so hard to track! Chucky T just got tossed by REDragon and there goes 2.0! Ortiz celebrated their eliminations too long and now the Young Bucks toss him out. They tease a faceoff with FTR but REDragon attacks from behind! FTR is trying to throw Kyle O’Reilly over but Blonde Buck saves them, only to promptly get thrown out by FTR! Finally, things are starting to settle down for a few minutes. Trent goes over the top but skins the cat and Orange Cassidy puts Trent on his shoulders and gets him back in the ring.
Trent comes in like a house on fire and eliminates Bobby Fish! Oh, look at Tully! He’s trying to pull John Silver out while Cash Wheeler is working his feet. Silver pulls him by the feet and flips him over! We no longer have any pairs left in our final six! Santana and Trent relive their Parking Lot brawl days and fight out onto the ring apron. Unfortunately, Kyle O’Reilly and Brunette Buck kick them both in the face and now we’re down to those two, Dax Harwood and Short John Silver. Speaking of fighting to the apron, that’s where we find Dax and O’Reilly. Bobby Fish shows up and kicks Dax out! Down to three! Brunette Buck and O’Reilly immediately team up on Silver but O’Reilly tells Matt Jackson his shoulder is out. Jackson throws John Silver out and immediately, O’Reilly follows up and throws Jackson out! REDragon has won and will go on to face the tag champs at Revolution! I can’t wait to see which teams joins the threesome next week on Dynamite!
While REDragon and the Young Bucks argue in the middle of the ring, your AEW World Heavyweight Champion shows up and demolishes REDragon! The Young Bucks are just standing by and watching. Adam Cole hits the ring, baybay, but Hangman Adam Page catches his superkick and goes for the Buckshot Lariat. Before he can pull the trigger, REDragon pulls Cole out of the ring. Johnny Hungee is still out here though, and attacks REDragon, throwing O’Reilly in for a Buckshot Lariat! We end with an impassioned speech from Hangman sitting in a chair in the middle of the ring threatening Adam Cole.
POP: Obscuro Oscuro
The House of Black shows up for their tag match with Pac and his mystery partner. That partner turns out to be a returning Penta El Zero Miedo, rebranded as Penta Oscuro. These guys have been fighting for some time and each version has gotten better. I just want to point out Brodie King is an absolute monster. That doesn’t mean physics don’t still come into play, especially if another giant man jumps from 12 feet above and smashes into your body.
Speaking of a man smashing into your body, I’m not sure how a 450 splash isn’t a damn match-winner! What does win a match, however, is a roll-up, which gives the Death Triangle the victory! The House of Black jump the Death Triangle and before Malakai can decapitate Oscuro, the lights go out and when they come on….BUDDY MATTHEWS is in the ring! He teases an attack on Black but jumps the Death Triangle! He smashes Oscuro’s face into a chair and the House of Black (potentially with a new member???) disappears! Wow! I’m a big fan of Buddy Matthews so I am really excited to see where he goes from here. The announce team wasn’t quite sure if he’s a House of Black member or not (I hope not) but his talents should absolutely be in this company.
BOTCH: Short Qualifier
Pres10 Vance and Absolute Ricky Starks come out for their Face of the Revolution Ladder Match Qualifier. I don’t know that there was any doubt who would win this match but it turns out exactly as we expect. Vance tries to use his power to win, but like I said earlier, there wasn’t a whole lot of question into who would win this match. By the way, it was Ricky Starks. Ricky Starks wins the match by avoiding a full nelson and spearing Vance out of his boot. I do look forward to having Starks in the ladder match at Revolution especially with Hobbs also in there; however, in these qualifiers, I’d like to see the winners face someone like Darby or O’Reilly – guys that have an actual shot at winning.
BOTCH: Equality
On the heels of a match with foregone conclusions, we get Jade Cargill vs. The Bunny. The Bunny is a good wrestler and can hang with Cargill (and does) but she got the jobber’s entrance for pete’s sake. Sorry, Pete. I will admit, though, she definitely pushes Cargill to the limit. This might surprise you, but Jade Cargill is way stronger than The Bunny. She tosses The Bunny around the ring and reverses an Overdrive into the Jaded for the win! She tries to start an open challenge for Revolution, which Tay Conti comes out and accepts. This match could be good; however, I don’t know that Conti is the one like she says she is!
POP: Dragon Dungeon
As I mentioned earlier, I really want Daniel Bryanson and Jon Moxley to team up and form some sort of Hart-style Dungeon for these new kids. Danielson is a purist. He just wants the best from the youth. Including you, Daniel Garcia. Including you. At the very beginning of their match, you can see Danielson hitting Garcia with very crisp shots and just begging to get a violent Daniel Garcia. So Garcia does what Garcia should do, he gets violent and chop-blocks Danielson while he’s running the ropes.
I have made clear my love for Bryan Danielson stomping the shit out of someone’s chest/face. When Garcia does it to the back of Bryan’s head, I know he’s going to get his comeuppance. Not long after, my comeuppance dreams come true and Danielson stomps him into a triangle sleeper for the win! He’s jumped by 2.0 and in a surprise to absolutely, 100% nobody, Moxley intervenes and beats the ever-loving hell out of Garcia and 2.0. Wild Thing indeed, my friend. Speaking of no surprises, Bryan tells Moxley that they will fight at Revolution and not only that, they will bleed together! Holy shit. I am ridiculously excited for that match on March 6th, more than any other match. And it’s not even close, so LET’S GO!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
