Photo: AEW (Twitter)

Pops & Botches: AEW Dynamite – 9.9.2020

AEW Dynamite Pops & Botches

 

Hey Gang, Jesse Draham here. Let’s get right to it with the rundown for the matches of the night.

  • Brodie Lee (TNT Champ) vs. Dustin Rhodes
  • Sonny Kiss and Janela vs. Jericho & Hager
  • Orange Cassidy vs. Angelico
  • Nyla Rose vs. Tay Conti
  • FTR Tag Team Celebration tonight.
  • And we’ll hear from Matt Hardy.

A small great thing about AEW in how they run post-PPV shows. In other companies, Jericho would go from a major loss in a major feud, and next night have a 10-minute talk segment about how he’s been cheated, culminating with either his previous opponent or newest feud interrupting him. Instead, he has a random match with Kiss and Janela. Orange Cassidy is wrestling Angelico. 

Why, it’s almost like these guys are employees (or at least, “Independent Contractors”) of a wrestling company, and have to wrestle whoever they’re booked against! I LOVE the semblance of this as a real sport with multiple matches listed at the top of the show, and it goes a long way to keep the place feeling like a thriving hive of talent.

Mostly a POP: Jurassic Ex. Vs. Lucha Bros.

First match of the night! One thing I LOVE about AEW is the lack of promo parade. The bell rings at 23 seconds in, damn near while the “TV-14” is still on screen and we get right to the action.  No overblown recap table of contents for the night that nobody asked for and is usually deviated from anyway.

I hate shitting on things I like, but I’m starting to notice many of the JE vs. LB matches come down to “Most Convoluted Arm Drag”, which seems to be a staple of lucha libre in general.

Butcher and Blade second Lucha Bros. at ringside along with Eddie Kingston, which will come to play after the match.

Overall a decent match between the teams, wrestling for the sake of it, which is just fine. Some highlights, like a great Rey Fenix Gory special/leg drop combo and a Penta nearfall on a foot stomp package piledriver combo. Really interesting bit where Jungle Boy switches spots with Fenix in a Canadian destroyer (I don’t think I’ve ever seen a switcheroo on that move) and Jungle boy capitalizes with the pin.

The Lucha Bros. scrap a bit in frustration after the match, leading to their stepdad, Eddie Kingston to demand they knock it off, shake hands, and maybe we’ll all get pizza and soda later. There seems to be a group coagulating around the Luchas, the ButchBlades, and Eddie Kingston.  Eddie ends the segment with a “BTW I was never eliminated look up the rules bitch”. You’re living under his roof, and Uncle Stepdad Eddie Kingston’s roof HAS GOT SOME RULES (bitch)!

Archer/Mox Promos

Jake Roberts speaks for Archer talking up the Casino Battle Royal championship.

“Moxley, you get to play around in fancy cars.  We’re not here to drive any cars man.  We’re here trashing cars and crashing people too.” 

Moxley gets a comeback a bit later in the show. Say his reign is not getting any easier. Well it’s not supposed to be. Being the champion isn’t easy.  You can’t litigate it, you can’t campaign for it, you have to climb over a mountain over to the other side.  (Great addressing of the previous rivalry while addressing the next). You see a monster in Lance Archer, I see a man. Great way to put him over. Don’t bet against me.

Just good promo work between the two. I like Jake as a genuine manager to Archer. Archer can talk just fine, Roberts doesn’t need to help him there; he is there merely to coach wrestling’s latest terrifying killer.

APOLOGETIC BOTCH: Matt Hardy

Hardy comes out to do damage control after his brain bustering on Saturday. He refers to the outpouring of concern from fans as “mind-blowing”, which probably isn’t the best wording. “The MIND BLOWING amount of support I’ve gotten has SWOLLEN my heart and CONCUSSED my pride.  Without a doubt, I am a perfect example of CTE. Cherished To Excess!”

He says he’ll make a 100% recovery and points to his wife in the audience, masked and holding a baby, undoubtedly to ensure her hands would be too busy to shit-talk tweet (shit-tweet?) the company for at least a little bit.

He concludes with an apology for continuing the match on Saturday. It is a bit damage control-y, but it’s nice to hear and maybe something that’ll breakdown a little bit of the dumb macho bullshit that leads to so many wrestlers dying young.  Things like insisting on continuing a match after smashing your brainstem.  Though let it be crystal clear: regardless of whether this is all Matt’s sincere feelings, it is the DOCTORS and the PRODUCERS jobs to stop that match.  Yeah, it is a super tough sight to see a man take a blow like that and keep going. But the guy whose brain is swelling like a carnival water gun balloon should NEVER be the guy making the final call.

POP: Angelico (w/ Jack Evans) vs. Orange Cassidy

OC is coming off of two straight singles wins over Jericho. We get to see OC return to playing the classics, playing defense and not caring. GREAT moment where Angelico intercepts the hands in pocket taught to link fingers “Test of Strength” style. The chill sash is short-lived as we see OC kick it into his newly discovered higher gear, and take him out with the Orangeman Punch.

The real story is the post-match. Jack Evans taunts him from ringside long enough for Santana and Ortiz to jack him from behind, knocking him clean before the Best Friends show up and run them off. Chuck says this nonsense needs to end and challenges them to a parking lot match next week.

Trent commits the ultimate sin, and RESCINDS HIS PREVIOUS APOLOGY, calling them a bunch of jerks for ruining his Mom’s van.

POP: Thanks for knocking 

Alex Marvez knocks on the door to interview the Bucks only for their door to open and eat a double superkick. We’re informed later in the show that they’ve both been fined $5000 by Tony Khan. I wouldn’t be opposed to re-doing this segment with your standard annoying door knockers. Salesman, Jehovah’s Witness, Mormons. “Hi! I’d like to share with you my love of (boot in mouth sounds)”

Temporary BOTCH: Best Boy

Kip Sabian enters to an Audioslave clone to announce his Best Man for his upcoming marriage to Penelope Ford. Schiavone asks who he plans to ask, only for Kip to take his mic and tell him to pound sand. Poor bullied Tony just takes it.

Kip says everyone has been asking if they can have the honor of Best Man. He cuts the crap and gets right to it and announces him. Out comes Puff, excited. Sabian corrects him that he’d actually said “Thanks for subscribing to my Twitch, you’re the best, man!” (There’s a few references to Twitch in this segment.  Hmm, almost as if something of note happened with wrestling and Twitch this week. Hmmm…)

Next comes Brian Pillman Jr, also comedically misconfused (it’s his birthday!) to re-do the same joke as several seconds ago. With the added burn of “Brian, WE’RE NOT EVEN FRIENDS”. And a kick in the ass “I hope your birthday sucked!”. 

I don’t like this segment thus far.  This Best Man better be good enough to have his own day of the week.  To justify this nonsense, this reveal better be tank-sized.

THE POPPIEST POP THAT EVER POPPED

HOLY SHIT IT’S RUSEV! RUSEV IS THE BEST MAN! HIS NAME IS MIRO, NEVERMIND, TO HELL WITH RUSEV. MIRO HAS BEEN HERE 3 SECONDS AND IS ALREADY THE “BEST MAN” IN THE COMPANY! PILLMAN, I KNOW IT’S ONLY 8:42 PM, BUT YOUR BIRTHDAY IS OVER AND MIRO DAY HAS ARRIVED!

Guys. I LOVE Rusev/Miro.  The crowd doesn’t miss a beat and immediately begins chanting Miro Day (compared to WWE yucksters chanting “Husky Harris” when Bray Wyatt tried to reinvent myself. Guys, you peaked with “Burger King” chants in 95, you’re done, give it up.) He was one of the easiest can’t-misses in a pile that WWE missed like a drunken toddler swinging at a pinata.  A clear case of Vince’s xenophobia again preventing him from pushing anybody with too strong an accent as a babyface. (See also Cesaro).

Miro gives the all too familiar post-WWE promo about glass ceilings and brass rings, before insisting they can shove that brass ring up their asses. He is in All Elite, because ELITE RECOGNIZES ELITE. He’s not A Best Man, he is THE Best Man. And much like AEW’s flagship show, I am ALL IN.

POP: Hangman/Omega Interview

Page courteously offers Tony a drink to which he deadpan responds, “No, thanks.  I gotta work”. Tony, you’re the best.

Hangman says his ribs are hurt, but he was more hurt by the humidity than anything during his FTR match with Kenny. Great use of still images over the audio of the interview.  Nice style.

Hang says it shouldn’t have gone down like that. FTR shouldn’t be Number 1 contenders in the first place if he hadn’t dropped the ball, it’s all his fault, and Kenny was right. He made the mistake of seeing FTR as sounding like him and looking like him and he made the mistake of thinking they were as good as them.

“I know I’m bone and blood like everyone else, but I feel like I’m head to toe poison”. This Hangman needs a hug, man. Really relatable character building.

We later get Omega’s thoughts in a similar interview where he accepted that you win and lose belts.  We get into his loss of direction in the company, expecting instant singles stardom and championships, but faltering. And that winning the belts with Page put some confidence back in him, and that was stripped away when they lost the belts.  He lost more than a tag belt, he lost the band-aid he had put over his ego to heal. And it’s been ripped off. Says he appreciates his run with Page, but he shouldn’t expect a reunion anytime soon. He’s focusing on single stardom.

Again, AEW at it’s best. In WWE we’d immediately enter a 6 month program with Omega vs. Page where they’d wrestle each other roughly 237 times and split it 50/50. Just letting it linger as an almost beat-down on Page leaves it to be addressed later as a ready-made feud with pathos and backstory while the characters continue on their own journeys. AEW trusts its fans to remember, and in only a year of Dynamite it already pays dividends in storytelling.

(I know I’m ragging on WWE a lot here, and I’ll try to do it less in the future.  In the meantime, may I suggest a remedy to maybe stop supporting such garbage? Kthxbye)

POP: Jericho/Hager vs. Janela & Kiss

It’s nice seeing Sonny Kiss get some offense in on bigger dudes. It’s a small thing, but he’s primarily performed with many of AEW’s smaller performers. For a character/performer that’s gender-bending, it’s important for long term booking that this character be seen taking on all comers big and small.  This is why the cruiserweights did so great in WCW and so bad in WWE.  In WCW, they had their own special belt but were shown that they could hang with the big guys.  In WWE, they’re toxic waste that needed to be contained to their own show, because it would be so ridiculous to see them taking on regular sized wrestlers.  This was of course, absurd, especially in a post “World Heavyweight Champion Rey Mysterio” timeline. But it’s these subtle categorization’s that destroy entire weight classes. I’m glad to see AEW is taking caution with this and not handicapping one of their most interesting stars.

(BTW, brief note. I previously referred to Sonny using they/them on my previous article simply to be safe, only to just read now he prefers he/him and is okay with she/her, but SPECIFICALLY does not want to be referred to as they/them. Note taken Mr. Kiss, keep on kicking ass).

in the corner only to be the one thrown into it by Janela.

Jericho gets Janela on the ramp and slingshots him to Hager who dumps him off through a table. Sonny takes charge with a plancha and takes on both Hager and Jericho singlehandedly in the ring with cartwheel kicks in opposing corners. Jericho runs in and blasts Kiss in the corner with the fire extinguisher, giving Hager the chance to finish him off. A GREAT showing for Sonny Kiss in defeat, losing only to a desperation cheat by Jericho.

Jericho hops on the mic acknowledging a terrible All Out for the Inner Circle pointing his team mates battle royal eliminations, Sammy Guevara’s injury, and Jericho’s still squelching Mimosa soaked boots. But that’s all in the past. He and Hager announce their intention to build up their rank in the tag division and have the Tag Team Championship in their sights.

POP: MJF Segment

MJF is with his election campaign, calling out Dictator John for cheating to win.  Can’t blame a scorpion for stinging you when it’s in their nature. He takes it out on his campaign and fires them. Props to the grovelling campaigner still offering him a chocolate.

Takes it out on Wardlow for not adequately throwing a ring. Chest-up. MJF says Tony Khan doesn’t sign your checks, I do, that anybody else would’ve fired him. I’m your only friend, get your shit together, or I’ll put you and your whole family out on the street.  So I’ll ask again…do we have a problem? It’s time to get back on top where we belong. (Super excited to see where MJF goes from here)

POP: FTR Celebration

The boys are joined by Tully, handing out beers to the tag division at ringside. Fear the Revelation is codified as the official name. Tully put em over as the best tag team in the world. Cash puts over the entire division. Says we’re undefeated but we had to fight for every win in a division this deep. While taking digs. Saying they loved wrestling SCU, can you imagine if we’d wrestled you IN YOUR PRIME? We are your locker room leaders now. Billy Gunn, don’t think that just because you’re in some second rate hall of fame that you and your kid are gonna jump to the front of the line.

Next week vs. Jurassic Express. It ain’t for the belts, you have to get to the top. We’re not letting some cosplay Tarzan and dumbass designer cosplay their way to a title shot. Luchasuar and climb in.  Oh, they reveal the cake.  I wonder what’s gonna happen here. They throw some napkins at Luchasaurus and bail out of the ring, only for Jurassic Express to dumb a full ice cooler onto them.

In the most shocking twist in the history of wrestling since Brock Lesnar ended the Undertakers streak, nobody goes through the cake, and the entire tag division helps themselves to a slice. GOOD CLEAN FUN

Skateboarding Wif Fweinds: Ricky Starks Segment

We get another great segment with Ricky Starks cosplaying as Darby Allin.  These are fantastic.  Sometimes the simple skateboard character zombie boy needs to treated like the dork he was in high school, and Ricky’s more than suited for the role.  Here he comes out and says after getting injured and tacks in his foot and dislocating his pinkie, he can’t go skateboarding with his friends! 

There’s a reason no one wants to tag with you and why you sit in the back all alone.  You’re reckless, not relentless. Next time you show your face, I’ll relentlessly beat your ass.

BOTCH: Nyla Rose vs. Tay Conti

This is the difficulty writing a column like this: even if everything is good, some things are gonna have to be labelled a botch for only being adequate.

Tay with tears in her eyes comes out for her first match as an AEW signee. Also being actively recruited by the Dark Order. Nyla picks up the win and teases a post match beatdown on Conti before Shida scares her off with a kendo stick. This will, of course, make a perfect person for Conti to clobber when she accepts the Dark Order’s invitation.

This match was just okay. There’s a lot of hesitation from both of them and a clunkiness about the whole thing.  They just never quite get into a rhythm. I kinda put this on Nyla, who as the longer tenured AEW star was probably asked to set the pace which has always been her downfall.  She can keep up with smaller faster performers like Riho or Shida, but she herself is not a great ring general, which you can see on full display here. Nothing necessarily bad, but on a show that’s been pretty great all night, it definitely suffers in comparison.

POP: Dustin Rhodes vs. Brodie Lee for TNT Championship

JR mentions Brodie’s specs at 6 foot 6, 265 pounds. It is absurd how WWE made this giant appear mediocre in any way.

Dustin’s chyron says “Pinned Colt Cabana at All Out”, which, while pertinent to the plot, is a pretty minor accomplishment. I just assume most people have pinned Colt Cabana, be they wrestler or not. Almost like a wrestling HPV. (PSA, Men often show no evidence or symptoms of having pinned Colt Cabana. Use protection to stay on the safe side.)

Strangely, it seems like ref Bryce Remsburg was off his game tonight, as I counted at least 4 instances of the wrestlers having to reposition him in the ring.  I kept waiting for it to payoff into something to no avail.

Another clinic from Dustin Rhodes. How this man at a half-century is pulling out Yoshi Tonics is beyond me. 

Dustin fights off a Silver distraction attempt, sticks Brodie with the piledriver but misses the pin on a rope break. He fights his way back and puts the Natural down with two thrust kicks and a lariat.

The Dark Order comes out with Dustin’s tag partner QT Marshall knocked out. Brodie takes my advice and uses protection by not allowing Colt Cabana in the ring with him, as abstinence is the only 100% protection against pinning Colt Cabana.

Cody’s Announcement

Cody takes advantage of his injury by accepting a new opportunity: Taking advantage of a quarantine bubble in Macon, Georgia to shoot the most extreme talent show ever! The Go Big-Show With host comedian Bert Kreischer (Truth: I missed watching this live as I was performing in Atlantic City last night. I put on Bert’s podcast on the drive home where he subtly mentioned watching tonight’s AEW for a big announcement, so already had the idea something fishy was afoot.)

No dancing, just death defying feats of strength and over-the-top acts. Extreme talent show. Starring also Rosario Dawson, Snoop Dogg, Jennifer Nettles.

Good on Turner for showing some faith in Cody. I suppose he’s done good enough as a public spokesman for the company to get them to sign off on more opportunities like this. This also bodes well  for other talent to branch out into similar endeavors. 

Though I can of one wrestler who’s probably not too happy with the snub.

     

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