IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! It’s Thanksgiving Eve! There’s a couple of things I’d like to point out that we need to be thankful for tonight. First off, I’m thankful the 2021 Brass Ring Post Award Nominations are up! I’m also thankful that Dynamite is here this week and not pre-empted for any dog show or something like that. Coming off last week’s near flawless Dynamite, where are we going from here? Hopefully, we’ll get some clarity tonight. Bryan Danielson went full heel against the Dark Order and AEW World Heavyweight Champion, Hangman Adam Page. Will he stay angry? Will he be more friendly now that we’re out of Norfolk, Virginia? I can’t wait to find out live, tonight! Hey, whatever happened to the Portuguese Man O’War, Aldo Montoya?
POP….then BOTCH: Sticks and Squash
Dynamite is coming to us live from the Second City! Chicago! That can mean one thing for absolute certain – CM Punk is here. Not only that but he is ready to fight tonight and his match against QT Marshall is up first. HOWEVER (all caps), instead of QT coming out for their fight, MJF’s music hits and out comes the walking personification of arrogance, cockiness and (as the announce team astutely pointed out), smarminess. For the next 15 minutes or so, these two go absolutely ham on each other. They outright mention The Miz and loosely dance around Vince McMahon, Triple H, Stephanie McMahon and even John Cena. Normally, I don’t like bringing up the competition THAT much but this worked for me because it was so personal regarding CM Punk’s high profile exit from his last wrestling employer.
Before they fight, MJF jumps out of the ring and out comes Aaron Solow, Nick Comoroto and QT Marshall(o). Not long after the bell rings, The Factory does stupid Factory things so naturally, they get thrown out of the ringside area. Well shoot, that didn’t last long at all. Although CM Punk is noticeably slower than he was 7 years ago, the old dog keeps running with these younger guys and throwing his body at them with ill regard to his own safety. Punk keeps his undefeated streak alive with a Macho Man elbow and a Go to Sleep and now that he’s put this issue with QT Marshall to bed, he can focus on whoever his next feud will be. What’s that? Yeah, probably MJF. Okay, definitely MJF. The match was anticlimactic but my god, that first 15 minutes with him and MJF was awesome! I can’t wait to see them have a full drawn out feud. One that doesn’t hit a wall with a match against QT Marshall.
BOTCH: Televised Dark Match
Per usual, AEW puts out a match that is nothing but time fodder to lead to post-match shenanigans. In this case, we get Bear Country facing off against (apparently) a top-5 team in Colten and Billy Gunn. Friday, on Rampage, Darby beat Billy but the Ass Boys jumped Sting from behind so now there’s legitimate beef between the two teams.
After Colten puts away Bronson Bear with the Colt .45 (and I didn’t see a single zig-zag), Darby and Sting come out and Darby absolutely levels recently-outed racist Austin Gunn on the ramp. They roll into the ring to fight the Gunn Club but Billy and Colten slide out the other side and retreat up the ramp. Presumably, they collected a disposed Austin but all we saw was him dragging himself to the back with no assistance from his father or brother. Family ties, am I right?
When we come back from a commercial break, we find Lio Rush and Dante Martin across the table from Team Taz. Martin signs the contract from Team Taz and it would appear they have the newest (and high-flyingest!) member of their stable!
POP: Give the TBS Tournament a Chance!
Jamie Hayter, fresh off her victory over Anna Jay in round one, is out for her TBS Championship Tournament match against Thunder Rosa, who looks absolutely stunning tonight. Rebel and Britt Baker (D.M.D!) are out here in Hayter’s corner but giving up numbers and size has never stopped Thunder Rosa before. She’ll slap the shit out of anybody (or get the shit slapped out of her by anybody) but whatever! She is always game for the challenge!
Rosa and Hayter have a really good match. Once Rosa locks in the Peruvian Necktie, Rebel distracts the referee so Baker can hit Rosa with a superkick. One small problem, Rosa is quick like a gato and moves out of the way just in time for Hayter to wear said superkick. Rosa rolls up Hayter to get the victory but Jamie is not happy about it. Uh-oh. Trouble in the dental office. Rosa has moved on and will face Jade Cargill with the winner going straight to the finals!
POP: Shitbag Danielson
Bryan Danielson’s quest to take out every member of the Dark Order continues this week as he takes on the pride of Maxwell Street in Chicago (hometown alert!), Colt Cabana! When Danielson’s music hits, the crowd seems a little confused on how to react. He gets a smattering of cheers amongst a smattering of boos. He is the smatterer. I was curious if Danielson would still be a dick when they’re not in the greater Norfolk area but judging by the look on his face when he comes out for this match, he’s definitely still full level dick, Daniel Bryanson.
Danielson comes out and is trying to murder Cabana. He’s kicking the shit out of him from pillar to post. Eventually, Colt gets pissed and hits the Dusty Rhodes elbow on Danielson. That was just about all the offense Cabana would get in on Bryan Danielson. The American Dragon stomps Cabana’s face off and then hooks in the Labell Lock to get the victory. He also smugly hangs onto the hold for a few extra seconds and it appears he knocked out Cabana’s tooth! Just like he said he’d do!
After the match, Schiavone jumps in the ring and for some reason hands Danielson the microphone. It doesn’t seem like that was the best idea. He lambasts the Chicago crowd for being fickle (heh) and after challenging any Atlanta-bred Dark Order member to a match next week, he invokes the good name of Hangman Adam Page. The Cowboy immediately answers the call and fireworks instantly start. Just as fast as they started, Danielson ducks the Buckshot Lariat to end the aforementioned fireworks. Their match is going to rule. So hard.
POP: Wrestle Just to Wrestle
Our main event is here and on paper, it’s going to be a barnburner. We have an eight man tag match for brand suprema—-wait, wrong show. Cody Rhodes, PAC and BOTH Lucha Bros (Lucha Brothers? The Lucha Bros? The Lucha Brothers? Lucha Bros.?) show up to fight against Malakai Black, Andrade El Idolo and FTR. The quality of talent in this match should lend easily to a four star match AT WORST. And if you don’t agree with that, fuck you Meltzer.
I’m not sure how you can watch Rey Fenix and not be entertained. I don’t care if you absolutely loathe flips (looking at you, FTR) but my goodness, this kid is amazing. These two teams didn’t disappoint. Just seeing Death Triangle doing Death Triangle things is awesome! In the middle of the match, Arn Anderson and Tully Blanchard jump into the ring to tease an old school fight. Emphasis on the old school. Anyway, Jose the Assistant thought it would be a great idea but he gets his brain busted by the former Brain Busters. PAC, however, leaves himself vulnerable in a two-on-one situation. Malakai Black spits in his face and one quick El Idolo later, the heels take the victory with no effort whatsoever.
Normally, companies will have the good guys win to send the crowd home happy. It’s been going on for years. After the TNT cameras stopped rolling, Andrade El Idolo realizes his team winning doesn’t necessarily please the crowd (or anybody really). To rectify this, he beats up Cody Rhodes. I know one thing, if you want to send a crowd home happy, beat the shit out of Cody Rhodes. Works like a charm every time.
I enjoyed this week’s episode of Dynamite. That being said, I didn’t love everything about it like I did last week. That’s a good thing though. I’m not naive to the fact that AEW doesn’t program their shows with only things I like (I mean, they SHOULD though!). Maybe you liked the CM Punk/QT Marshall match. That’s awesome. Maybe you hated the women’s match. No worries. The joy of this organization is they have a little something for everybody. And for the love of God, can Eddie Kingston just enjoy his fucking cake in peace!?! Have the happiest of Thanksgiving you guys! We have a lot to be thankful for in this crazy life!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
