IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! Big week last week! We returned to Wednesday nights after a couple of weeks hanging out together on Saturdays. AEW treated us right, too, with the kickoff match being CM Punk’s Dynamite debut against Bobby Fish. They also tried to make me choose between a perfect squash match and a squash match that sucked. I’ll tell ya this, it was an easy choice for me! Oh, and don’t forget, Jon Moxley had a little snack during his match. It was just a lot of fun, you guys. Say, whatever happened to the Goon?
POP: One-Cleaned Angels
In no universe do I think Alan Angels is going to win this match. Even if the entire Dark Order came out and shit-stomped Kenny Omega for 15 minutes, he would still pick up the win. That being said, I’m interested to see where this goes. Naturally, Angels comes out on fire and has Omega on the ropes early. But it’s Kenny Omega, guys. He’s the Best Bout Machine for a reason. The AEW World Heavyweight Champion. THE CLEANER. And no, commentary team, I don’t care how close Angels was to beating Kenny Omega 18 months ago! Fetch ain’t happenin’.
As I fully expected, and yes, I know I’m definitely the only one, Kenny Omega defeats Alan Angels after hitting THREE V-Triggers. I’m not sure how I feel about him not finishing the Angels guy with a One-Winged Angel. Feels like it writes itself. Oh, shit. Kenny has Nakazawa throw him in a chair and I think we all know where this is going. At least the crowd does, judging by their Cowboy Shit chant. Right on cue, Hangman Adam Page’s music hits right as Omega was about to give me the One-Winged Angel I so desperately wanted needed to see and he chases off Kenny. Ten days, Kenny. TEN. DAYS.
After commercial break, CoP hits and you know who comes to the ring to make a bunch of threats:
He seems pretty fired up. A little pissed off, perhaps. I mean, he’s definitely not in a good mood. But now that CM Punk has basically turned into the father figure that CT is to The Challenge, he gets the crowd chanting for Jon Moxley. The crowd happily obliges. For those who are unaware of why there’s a lot of Moxley support mentions tonight, he took a very courageous and brave step in his life to seek help for alcohol addiction. Stay strong, Mox. Oh. Punk also calls out Eddie Kingston for interrupting him last week and now he’s challenged him to a match next week in St. Louis even though the crowd was clearly clamoring for Full Gear. I guess we’ll see what happens, now won’t we.
HOLY SHIT! MIRO IS IN THE AEW WORLD TITLE ELIMINATOR TOURNAMENT! YESSSSSSSSS!!!!!!!!!!!
POP: Luchadon’ts
FTR comes out for a vaunted lucha match against Aero Star and Samuray del Sol, who I don’t believe are an actual tag team – I mean, their masks don’t even match! Also, that Samurai guy, he sure does look familiar to me. I don’t know why it cracks me up so much that FTR are the AAA Luchador tag team champions seeing as they are the epitome of what luchadores are not. I wish they’d call themselves the Luchadon’ts since they don’t flip, they don’t jump, and they don’t move fast.
At one point, the real luchas take advantage of their speed and start pumping their arms and chanting, LUCHA! LUCHA! Wait! Samuray del Sol used to be my old friend, Kalisto! I told you he looked familiar! That sneaky bastard! It sure was nice seeing him again and actually doing great wrestling work even if AAA champs, the Luchadon’ts, had to cheat to win. Man, I tell ya, who can beat the best non-luchador Lucha team in the land??
Here’s your weekly Dan Lambert segment:
The Inner Circle and America’s Top Team feud might be my favorite one. It’s fantastic. Plus, we get the Inner Circle vs. the Men of the Year, Junior dos Santos, Andrei Arlovski and DAN LAMBERT! Why am I so invested in this feud?!? Haha. I love it.
BOTCH: Hayters Gonna Hayte, Hayte, Hayte, Hayte, Hayte
The next round of the TBS Title Tournament brings us Jamie Hayter and Anna Jay. I want to make one thing perfectly clear. This Botch has nothing to do with Jaime Hayter or Anna Jay. It 100% has to do with the fact that it barely lasted five minutes. What is this? A WWE women’s tournament? For fuck’s sake. Let the women fight!
The match itself was good. Both girls came out ready to beat the hell out of each other for the right to fight Thunder Rosa. Dr. Britt Baker, D.M.D got involved so this match really was just there to set up the postmatch shenanigans with Baker, Tay Conti, Hayter and Thunder Rosa. All that being said, Hayter wins and will go on to face Thunder Rosa in the next round. Although I’m disappointed in the length of the match and the fact it was second fiddle to the brawl afterwards, the match did give us the Jamie Hayter look, which is just BEAUTIFUL!
POP: The Man in the Iron Mask
You know I hate Popping a Cody Rhodes match but here we are! Obviously, we can give all the credit in the world to Andrade El Idolo. That being said, Cody absolutely brought it in this match. He took his customary beating and boy, did Andrade El Idolo give it to him. This match is a very good example of a back-and-forth affair. It feels like El Idolo gets the upper hand and then Cody will reverse or counter into giving himself the advantage.
The momentum of the match definitely turns when the ref gets distracted by Arn Anderson beating up Andrade El Idolo’s assistant, Jose. Cody goes to hit El Idolo with a Tope’ Suicida but FTR shows up out of nowhere and catches him midflight with the AAA championship belts. That’s all she wrote as Andrade rolls Cody in, crushes him with the Hammerlock DDT and gets the three count. After the match, El Idolo and FTR gang up on Cody. Arn sneaks in to go face to face with Tully Blanchard. As Arn gets ready to whip his former partner’s ass, the Lucha Bros show up to beat up FTR and chase everyone off.
Okay, so I do have one small Botch and honestly, I’m not sure if it’s leading somewhere. If it is, I reserve the right to delete this small paragraph in the future. My problem is that Cody is fighting from a babyface position when the crowd is CLEARLY against him. The thing is, he knows it and you can tell. There’s no secret about it. They’re booing him, cheering his opponents and generally just wishing ill will on him. So yeah, that’s my big bitch – that Cody is either blissfully unaware or just terrified to turn on the fans.
POP: Freshly Redeemed
I love Miro. I also love Orange Cassidy but I LOVE Miro. I understand he is replacing Jon Moxley in this tournament, which is fantastic news for all of us. It’s fascinating to me how Orange Cassidy can do his same schtick every match but execute it in a different way that it’s still highly entertaining. In this instance, he plays cat and mouse with Miro and then finally runs out to ringside to put his hands in his pockets. This equally frustrates Miro and pisses him off, which he shows throughout the entirety of this match.
Now don’t get me wrong. Orange Cassidy fucked up Miro’s day multiple times, including putting him through a table on what can best be described as a corkscrew flying elbow...I think. Yeah, that sounds right. I’m not sure if you’ve met Miro but when he’s had enough, HE HAS HAD ENOUGH. Orange Cassidy goes for the Orange Punch and Miro just bats him out of the sky and locks in the Game Over. Before OC can even get bent (hehe), the game is over. Just like that, we have the finals for the AEW World Title Eliminator Tournament at Full Gear. Daniel Bryanson vs Miro!! My veins, Kahn. Straight into my veins.
What a(nother) great Dynamite! But ladies and gentlemen, I want to get real with you for a minute. We as fans invest SO MUCH time, money and support into a wrestling organization like AEW. Not only that, we’ve all been through life experiences that, when we are faced with them in our favorite wrestling organization, sometimes, we don’t know how to react. And as fans, I understand a lot of us are struggling with the news of Jon Moxley’s alcohol addiction. Let’s be honest, addiction is a very real thing that has impacted millions of people in this country. Sex, drugs, alcohol, whatever the vice, most of us have been affected whether it’s a struggle within ourselves or a close friend/family member that has been fighting to get to the other side of their addiction. It’s never easy.
That being said, don’t be too proud to reach out for help. I’m just a big, dumb rasslin’ writer on the internet. But I can assure you, if you need help dealing with addiction, I can help you. I deal with stuff like this in a professional capacity every day. So please contact me (see below) and I can help get you started on your journey. If you prefer even more confidentiality, reach out to the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) at 1-800-662-HELP (4357). They tout themselves as a free, confidential, 24/7, 365-day-a-year treatment referral and information service for English and Spanish speakers. Basically, they connect you with local resources in your area to get you assistance in fighting your addiction and whippin’ the shit out of it. So please, seek help somehow. We’ll get through it together.
To Jon Moxley and Renee’ Paquette – Thank you. Thank you for sharing your story and being an example to millions of wrestling fans worldwide. I understand the strength and courage it takes to seek help and the toll addiction takes on those around you. We know Jon as one of the toughest, craziest bastards out there but even he’s stronger than he knows and will get through this with the support of his family, friends and millions of us silly wrestling fans. Stay strong, you two. We’re all rooting you along.
Thanks everyone for letting me hit those points at the end. I know it’s heavy and it’s dark but honestly, we need to be more open and vulnerable about substance abuse and mental health exactly like Mox and Renee did this week. Never be afraid to seek help and for the love of God, love yourself and love each other.
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
