IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
That’s right, ladies and gentlemen! AEW Dynamite is BACK on Wednesday night! It feels so good to be back home in our usual timeslot. Four days ago, we kicked off the show with an AEW Eliminator Tournament match between Daniel Bryan and Dustin Rhodes. And boy howdy, did they put on a clinic. Yes, it was that good. Also, that damn Murderhawk Monster almost paralyzed himself in the middle of the ring. I’m just glad it seems like he’s going to recover and be just fine:
“Listen. We choose to do this and take our health n lives in our hands every night. I’ve done that move hundreds of times over my career. Just under rotated. Coulda been MUCH worse. Thank you to ALL at @AEW for taking AMAZING care of me and protecting me. I’ll BE BACK!”
That’s a direct Twitter quote from my guy and I’m definitely thankful for that. What I’m not thankful for (and more appropriately, what I’m still baffled by), is the fact that Cody beat Malakai Black but still lost the 3 match set. Maybe this week, we’ll get a little more clarification on why that was such a big deal or if this is going *gulp* seven matches and then they’re a badass tag team who will set the bar (ahem) for years to come? Wait a second, whatever happened to Lord Alfred Hayes?
POP: HIT THE MUSIC!
Well, I see we’re not fucking around AGAIN this week. Cult of Personality hits and I just love it. I don’t know why I’m so firmly entrenched on the CM Punk train in AEW. For those of you new to the program, CM Punk annoyed the hell out of me in the other organization and I was less than geeked for him to come to AEW. Then he came to AEW, quickly changed my mind and now he’s having his first fight on Dynamite! Hey, that’s my show!
Bobby Fish continues his Fight Every Superstar Tour this week. Granted, he doesn’t beat all of them but at least he’s getting this exposure in high profile matches. And AEW says he has the most educated feet in pro wrestling. From this one kick nonetheless! Clearly, Uncle Tony hasn’t had the pleasure of meeting Robert Van Dam or his educated feet yet.
CM Punk wins with a convoluted Go To Sleep but Fish sold it like a champ. Although it was a little awkward to get into, it decisively ended the match. This was a good match to start off Dynamite’s return to Wednesday nights. It’s always good to have a CM Punk match on your flagship program, especially when that match is the one setting the tone. I will admit the struggle to get Fish into the GTS did lack a little luster but hey, Punk’s a whole year older than the last time I saw him on Dynamite.
BOTCH: Squash Me Softly
Bryce Donovan gets his TV debut against MJF. Somehow, MJF’s entrance lasted longer than this entire match. Seriously, it took me longer to type this paragraph than it did for this match. Points for MJF for the one-finger pin on Donovan. Luckily, MJF grabs the mic and talks some absolute shit to the Boston crowd. Luckilyer (new vocab word alert!), Sting shows up and chases MJF and his Pinnacle goons out of the ring. Unfortunately for them, Darby was waiting in a creepy trench coat costume in the crowd. He grabs his thumbtack board deck and beats the hell out of Wardlow and Shawn Spears.
I’m not sure if anybody noticed the small foreshadowing but MJF and Spears apparently orchestrated Sting’s music to play so they could “trick” the crowd into believing Sting was there. Wardlow was clearly not left in the loop as he was ready to fight and showed great dismay when Friedman and Spears were still celebrating the great coup they pulled. I foresee a giant Wardlow turn soon. Or you know, they’re playing the long con. Who knows? Not me, but I know I can’t wait to see what happens next!
POP: The Face of TNT, Champ.
That’s right. The Spanish God flies down to the ring to assault All Ego Ethan Page. And holy shit, does he assault him fast, furiously and honestly, quite beautifully. Guevara is a man incensed. I mean, all that happens before the bell even rings. Eventually, they make their way into the ring at the same time so that the referee could call for the bell to start the match. I swear, Sammy might be the most fun wrestler to watch when he’s on and tonight…he is ON. Capital O. Capital N.
Well, he was ON until Page tried to make him piss blood. He drops Guevara on the top turnbuckle and gets the upperhand. If you think that was enough to kill Sammy though, you are vastly mistaken. I mean, the Spanish God can do a Spanish Fly! It only gets a two count, however, and these two continue the fight right in front of The Premiere Athlete, Tony Nese, sitting front row again this week. His unemployment checks must pay him well to travel to each city Dynamite is in and afford front row tickets!
Ethan Page’s quest for the TNT Title fails miserably as Sammy beats him with this flip-pin (and then promptly gets shit-kicked by Page and 2 Cold Scorpio Sky). With his win, Sammy is able to stay in the Inner Circle so they run out and chase off the Men of the Year. Jericho grabs the microphone and reminds Page and Sky that not only is Guevara still in the Inner Circle, but that The Inner Circle will fight The Men of the Year and America’s Top Team at Full Gear. Not only that, it’s a Minneapolis Street Fight and The Inner Circle will get to pick which members of America’s Top Team will get their asses kicked on November 13th!
POP: Revenge Served Cold
You may remember three weeks ago, Serena Deeb and Hikaru Shida battled one another and if Shida would have won, she would have been the first female wrestler to 50 wins. They had a commemorative statue made and everything. Needless to say, Deeb beat her and then knocked the shit out of her with the aforementioned commemorative statue. Well, Shida still hasn’t gotten to 50 and now there’s a TBS Tournament going on so why not pit these two against each other in round one!?! Beautiful matchmaking, everyone.
Hikaru is a woman possessed. She doesn’t appear to be interested in having a five star wrestling classic. Sister out here going ham, trying to murder Serena. I think the best thing about this match is that it went much longer than 37 seconds like some women’s tournament matches I’ve seen recently on other channels. Even though Shida was out for serious revenge, Serena did her best to not only have a cromulent wrestling match with real wrestling moves, she was clearly trying to shred the absolute hell out of Shida’s knees.
When Deeb goes for the Detox, Shida is able to reverse it and score the pinfall. She is now the first female wrestler to hit 50 wins! Congratulations, Shida! Unfortunately, the congratulations and celebration are short-lived as Serena goes right after Shida’s knee again. I’m not sure this is good for Hikura going into round two of the TBS Tournament where Nyla Rose is eagerly waiting. Good luck Shida. You’re gonna need it!
POP: Ten Lashes with a Wet Noodle
If you want to see how you should properly execute a squash match, watch this one. We all know I’m not a big fan of squash matches but this is one that was done right. Also, Jon Moxley is the character we all need him to be. I mean, check this out. My mans is out here being a psycho:
A rabid @JonMoxley bites and claws at the mask of @Pres10Vance – Tune in Live Nationwide for #AEWDynamite on @tntdrama NOW pic.twitter.com/jMQRjSEEbf
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) October 28, 2021
Once Vance rolled back into the ring, Moxley hit the Paradigm Shift floatover suplex and put him down for good. Moxley is advancing to the next round of the Eliminator Tournament and there’s nothing anyone can do about it. He came to the ring, chewed Vance’s face off, hit a Paradigm Shift and headed straight to the back. That was easy and vintage Jon Moxley. Can he do the same thing to Orange Cassidy on Friday?
The Coach, Arn Anderson and his protege’ come down to the ring and my God, the crowd hates Cody. Andrade El Idolo and Malakai Black vs Cody and PAC. Okay, I can dig it. But Cody, the crowd still hates you.
POP: Happy Halloween!
I don’t know how to even describe the entrances for this match. First out are Dark Order members Bambi, Braveheart, Hangman Evil Uno, and *checks notes* Brandon Cutler. Naturally, they are going up against the Ghostbusters, accompanied to the ring by Baby Hughey and the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man. I don’t know about you but this match is going to slap. Halloween wrestling is the best wrestling. Don’t @ me.
The Dark Order dominates the first half of this match, even posing for some pictures midway through. Even when The Super Elite Kliq or whatever they’re calling themselves, would take advantage, Braveheart Grayson put a quick end to it and tagged in Cutler Cabana, who tore down the house.
.@ColtCabana is on FIRE against #TheElite – Tune in Live Nationwide for #AEWDynamite on @tntdrama NOW pic.twitter.com/kTPYsp59oi
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) October 28, 2021
Eventually, the match broke down and everyone ate a super move, including referee Rick Knox, who ate a super kick. Once all eight competitors get in the ring, The Super Elite goons hit each member of the Dark Order with low blows rendering them incapacitated. After a four man proton pack smash, Cabana gets super powerbombed onto the backpacks. The Dark Order’s horse comes to the ring but it turns out to be Brandon Cutler with his mouth taped shut! Stay Puft reveals himself to be a real cowboy doing Stay Puft shit! Stay Puft Page kills Omega with the Dead Eye and Bambi Hungee finishes off the Super Elite with a Spin Doctor on Matt Jackson for the three count! Let’s party!
What a way to return to Wednesdays! That was a hell of a show. I really enjoyed it except the stupid MJF squash match in the middle. Everything else was fun, had real consequences and was overall just entertaining. It’s just another reminder as to why AEW is heads above the rest of the competition in terms of their show quality. If your wrestling friends aren’t watching AEW, you need new friends!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
