Cezar Bononi saves Peter Avalon from a marauding 10 - AEW (YouTube)

Pops & Botches: AEW Dark – 5.11.2021

AEW Dark Pops & Botches

 

I admit it, 8 weeks has broken me. I never used to pay much attention to commentary because surely it’s the action in the ring that counts, but this A/B test has changed my mind. Never fear, readers, there’s still a full-blown AEW Dark recap below the fold, plus the usual YouTube roundup. This week we talk May 11’s episode.

Last time on Dark…

I actually watched the entire Monday night show. Willow Nightingale debuted there in a great match with Thunder Rosa. Chaos Project thoroughly entertained on both shows. The Bunny had a charismatic outing on Tuesday. Read up on all the pops and botches in our May 3/4 recap.

Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…

Dynamite last week was mostly Blood and Guts, which was awesome. The four-way tag match was too. QT Marshall and Cody Rhodes faced off in a match that was just fine, but it didn’t feel like a big enough blow-off to the feud to me. In other news, “Cheerleadin'” Julia Hart got killed by Dr Britt Baker DMD.

Being The Elite episode 255 was bookended by long promos for what might be SCU’s swansong – the showdown with The Young Bucks scheduled for this week’s Dynamite. Orange Cassidy drank wine from the bottle in a nondescript hotel corridor and it brought back fond slash tragic memories of business trips from the pre-pandemic era. Brandon Cutler gave us a first-person view of the Bullet Club run-in from last week’s Dynamite, which was great fun to see, despite the complete lack of fans busting the “magic of television” trick that had piped live crowd noise over the pre-recorded scene.

Over on Sammy Guevara’s vlog episode 319 they basically did a whole show of behind the scenes for Blood and Guts. The episode is well worth a watch if you enjoyed the wargames.

Oh, and there was also this weird new YouTube show called Elevation. Some matches happened in episode 9 but I can’t tell you about them because Paul Wight kills my joy in watching enhancement talent do their thing. Just looking at the card, I’d be checking for Leyla Hirsch versus Dani Jordyn and David Ali versus Lee Johnson to get a peek at what some of the up-and-comers can do.

Somebody wrote a song about Peter Avalon, set to the tune of Billy Joel’s Piano Man. Not gonna lie, I got some sand in my eye.

Let’s talk about episode 88.

Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.

EH: Just hit 30 second skip a couple times

We’re opening the show tonight with Brandon Watts and Randy Summers aka Milk Chocolate! If I hoped that by skipping Elevation I would avoid ever having to watch any more Jon Moxley matches, I was sadly mistaken. Mox is here with Eddie Kingston to kill the jobbers.

Basically, Milk Chocolate get squashed. The good news is that it’s over quickly.

POP: Uno’s flatliner

The real opening match is Dark Order’s Evil Uno, Alan “5” Angels and Colt Cabana versus assorted jobbers Spencer Slade, Cole Karter and Andrew Palace.

Palace starts it off with Uno and puts a smile on everyone’s face with his hammy selling and joyous hits. 5 slaps Karter all over the place, showing us he’s not just a hot tag guy. Slade puts a stop to his run, then has a decent exchange with Cabana, but it’s Uno who takes it home for the Dark Order with a very cool move that Excalibur calls a Cross Arm Flatliner. Sadly it has not been gif’ed by an official source, so you’ll just have to watch the match to see it.

UM: Nothing if not consistent

Lance Archer charges into the ring, hitting Angel Fashion with a senton on his way down. It remains a fun gimmick that this guy always beats people up before his music even gets done playing, but it’d be cool to see him have a competitive bout once in a while.

Archer squashes Fashion, with a lot of smacking-the-smaller-guy-into-the-turnbuckle offense.

POP: The Factory dominate

The Factory enters in full effect to back up Aaron Solow and Nick Comoroto. They’re in a trios match versus jobbers Jake Logan, Occult Pro Wrestling Star RYZIN and Rick Recon.

Hang on, trios? Yes. QT Marshall is supposed to be in this Factory trio, but he spends the entire match sitting on the steel steps/bleachers that Comoroto lifted onto the ramp for him.

It’s fine, because Solow and Comoroto are more than capable of kicking the shit out of Logan. Ryzin then punches, splashes and drop kicks his way straight into a rough Comoroto spinebuster. It almost looks like Ryzin might escape, but Comoroto returns with an epic power bomb and it’s at this point that QT finally deigns to take off his jacket and tag in – to make the pin. What happened to Rick Recon? Was he just gathering intelligence for Dan Dare?

CHEER: Jocks from another era

The bodacious Varsity Blonds music starts and – who’s this – it’s Julia Hart! The Blonds getting a personal cheerleader definitely tracks with their college sports gimmick. I like it! The Blonds are facing the mystery team of Jaylen Brandyn and Traevon Jordan.

Jordan gets solidly kicked around by Pillman, then Garrison tags in to spank both of the jobbers. They come across fairly green, and the Blonds aren’t quite at the level of being able to elevate this kind of opponent. All the moves make sense but it doesn’t quite gel for me.

The Blonds win it. This match isn’t really pop-worthy, but since Hart is here I’ll give it a cheer for character.

POP: Nightingale shows she can go

Diamante was interviewed by Tony Schiavone earlier in the evening, and cut an okay promo hyping a feud with Kris Statlander. She still has some work to do to be convincing, but that’ll come in time – I’m just thrilled to see women actually getting to do promos for a change. Diamante is facing Willow Nightingale here on Dark.

Nightingale is a pretty tough customer, using her power to dominate the opening exchange. Diamante quickly turns it around with some sharp strikes.

It’s a short and sweet match – Diamante takes it with a Code Red – but it’s a good one.

POP: Future of the… eh, you know

Dante Martin has been getting a run against some pretty good singles talent over the past few weeks. This time he’s facing Aaron Frye, who up until now we’ve only seen in tag matches on Dark.

Martin takes control pretty quickly, hitting a string of offense and getting a quick pin fall attempt. The kid goes up for a 450, but Frye is wise enough to roll out of the way, and then it’s time for Fry Daddy to hit some strong strikes and stab some backs.

Frye misses his elbow drop which leads to Martin hitting a bunch of aerial attacks – drop kick, gamengiri, 450, bam! Damn, I love this dude’s energy. It seems like they might be setting him up for a run at the TNT title, maybe as one of the first challengers if Darby Allin loses it to Miro.

FINE: Rose squashes another one

Next up is “The Native Beast” Nyla Rose versus Ashley d’Amboise, which finally Taz figures out how to pronounce in a vaguely French-sounding fashion.

D’Amboise shows a bit of technical nous up front, but it isn’t long till Nyla starts thrashing her with gut punches and splashes in the corner.

Beast bomb and we’re done. It’s fine.

POP: All the pretty men

Cezar Bononi, Pretty Peter Avalon, Ryan Nemeth and JD Drake cut a delightful promo earlier about their stable name. Is it The Wingmen? Is it Pretty Picture? I still like Pretty Stable. In any case, Nemeth and Bononi are paired up tonight to take on The Skulk – Liam Gray and Adrian Alanis.

Nemeth has brought an Oscar or an Emmy or some such award gimmick to the ring, and spends a little too much time preening. Gray takes advantage and hits some solid offense, including a big cannonball from the corner post. Sadly it’s short-lived, as Bononi tags in to clothesline him. Bononi still doesn’t quite have the fluidity that I like to see in the ring, but he hits the usual sequence of big man moves before Alanis and Nemeth face off. Alanis has a pretty good run before it all starts to break down – they’re fighting everywhere!

Nemeth eventually cuts through the chaos to hit the Rude Awakening for the win. This reminds me of the scrappy matches Dark Order, Chaos Project and Sonny Kiss/Joey Janela had through a lot of the pandemic era. It seems to be a phase these new teams go through till they become polished as a unit. Still a good watch.

POP: Developmental boop

Julia Hart is back in the ring again – she’s getting quite the push! Her opponent is Kris Statlander, accompanied by the Best Friends.

Statlander boops ref Bryce Remsburg, then he boops Statlander back. Remsburg, continuing to be the AEW ref most likely to pull some kind of screwjob. Hart looks tiny compared to Statlander, who lifts her up with one hand to apply another boop.

Booping aside, Hart doesn’t really have the moves yet to go hard in the ring. Still, she’s a fun character and I hope we get to see her grow like some of the other Dark talents over the past year. Statlander wins it.

POP: Creepy bastard meets AEW’s top face

Jungle Boy has a match! He has pyro! Taz is singing along with his theme tune! I love it. He is facing Marty “The Moth Martinez” Casaus.

Casaus as the creepy bastard is a fantastic foil for the facest face that ever faced. He pulls the crazy eyes and unhinged grin every time he gets Jungle Boy cornered and it’s great to see. We have our share of monster heels on AEW, but aside from Abadon none are really as loathsome in their presentation as Casaus.

Jungle Boy generously gives the challenger plenty of time to shake off the ring rust, but in the end he sets up the Snare Trap and gets a submission victory.

MEH: Not quite breaking out

Next up, Big Swole and Red Velvet versus Ashley and Steff, the MK Twins. These two are legitimate identical twins – we can only tell who is who because Ashley is in short pants and Steff is in long pants.

There’s not a lot to say about this match. The Twins are an intimidating duo and they have a few fun tandem set pieces, but they’re not quite there yet, and Swole still isn’t good enough to carry the newer talent. Velvet probably is, but for some reason she doesn’t spend a lot of time in the ring.

Velvet and Swole hit stereo Just Desserts and Dirty Dancing finishers to win.

POP: Big brawlin’ daddies

Next up we have “Blue Collar Badass” JD Drake or – as Excalibur amusingly renamed him last week – “Just Delicious” Drake. He’s facing Dark Order’s Preston “10” Vance.

Drake and 10 work their big brawlin’ style. Y’all know it’s not my bag, but Drake is wearing a sparkly shirt and utterly obnoxious Jolly Roger cowboy boots, which helps.

10 ends up on the outside and The Pretty Picture all stick their boots into him. They’re interrupted by Dark Order, and we might have another little homegrown feud on the boil!

Drake pops 10 up on the turnbuckle and tries to hit him with his own (adopted from Shawn Spears) ten-strikes-to-the-head, but 10 powerbombs him at number 9. Drake comes back with a vicious clothesline, Bononi catches PPA for another gif-able moment, and then 10 locks in the Full Nelson and we’re done. Fun match!

POP: Breakthrough moment

That was the first main event, by the way. The second main event is Sonny Kiss and Joey Janela versus The Acclaimed.

What has Max Caster got to say this time around? It’d be so easy for Caster’s edgelord ass to punch down on Kiss, but he manages to put together an eye-wateringly funny rap that culminates in him shaking his “booty butt, boot butt, booty butt cheeks”. Amazing.

Janela is in full comedy mode this match, coaxing a giant build-up from the crowd, only to step on Caster’s foot. Anthony Bowens plays it straight, beating the shit out of Kiss. Bowens takes an awesome dive as he goes for a flying neckbreaker and Kiss ducks underneath it. That mixes the Acclaimed up enough that Janela has time to tag in and drive Bowens’ head into Caster’s.

Janela gets thrown out onto the stairs and starts wildly selling a knee injury. Commentary are behind it too, and it legit looks like he might be hurt, but they keep the match going. Janela hops over to Kiss, but Bowens takes him out, and then Caster kneebreaks him, dragonscrews him and God I can’t watch any more! 🙈

When I peek through my fingers Bowens has Janela in an airplane spin. Janela gets thrown to the mat and rolls out to Kiss who steps it up to 11. Janela tries his Asbury Park elbow drop, but his knee gives out, he tumbles from the ropes and Bowens puts him in a cloverleaf submission… The match breaks down and eventually Caster and Janela end up on opposite corners of the ring, both hitting a synchronized elbow drop on the other’s partner.

The battle rages on, till finally The Acclaimed take it. Very balanced, very strong match. Definitely match of the night. Everyone involved showed themselves to be a future star.

POP: Hoss heaven

Our third main event is Bear Bronson of Bear Country versus “The Machine” Brian Cage. I still need a cigarette after that last match!

This is a serious hoss fight. On a roster where Preston “10” Vance is considered a big man, these two look positively massive. The slower pace is a good cooldown from the preceding barnburner, but Bronson tosses in a few drop kicks to remind us that these are two big men who can really go.

It’s a big, powerful fight full of spots to pop hoss fans everywhere. Cage eventually takes it with the Drillclaw.

POP: Hobbs dominates

This is getting ridiculous. We have a fourth main event. They should just call it the “competing with Tuesday Night NXT” segment. It’s Powerhouse Hobbs versus “Yoga Monster” Mike Sydal.

Sydal tries to cut Hobbs down with some quick strikes. It looks like he might have a chance, but then Hobbs flies across the ring and smacks Sydal with a thundering crossbody. It thoroughly rattles the yoga bro, but he comes back with the help of some flexible maneuvering. He Matrix escapes a couple of shots, but then Hobbs hits the Town Bidness (formerly known as the less-hashtagable Town Business) and it’s over.

I’m glad I picked this week to skip Elevation, because Dark was a long-ass episode. It was a long ‘un, but it was a good ‘un! Looking back on the lineup for Elevation, there are some matches on there I’d like to see, but having skipped it this week I notice I am much less grumpy typing up this recap. I now understand how our long-suffering Raw writers feel! It’s a lot easier to write about stuff you are mostly enjoying. My learning of the year is that commentary matters. Who knew?

Coming up on Dynamite it is an all main roster extravaganza. As hinted at earlier, Darby Allin will be facing Miro. With the emo face paint kiddy weakened from being thrown down a flight of stairs last week, it might be time for Miro to win the belt and give our face midcarders something to chase. SCU and Young Bucks will be going head-to-head, in a match that’s had a slow build on BTE for months. Orange Cassidy and PAC will clash for a chance at taking on Kenny Omega. Also, we’re getting an NJPW match with Jon Moxley versus Yuji Nagata, which I am sure will pop some fans, somewhere. Nothing for us lovers of the undercard, but that’s fine. If we do get a surprise cameo from one of our crew, I’ll let y’all know next week! Till then!

     

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