Well, it happened again. They dropped an extra special episode of AEW Dark to hype us up for the PPV. Want to know more about what happened on the low-key actual go-home show for Revolution? Read on for our March 6 recap.
Last time on Dark…
Shotty and Solow conquered the Peaks and Valle. The Infantry were mowed down by TH2. Orange Cassidy wore a cowboy hat. It was lots of fun! Catch up in our March 2 recap.
Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…
Wednesday’s Dynamite was a go-home show with a bunch of celebrity appearances and main roster tomfoolery. The stand-out highlight was my dark horse fave Ryo Mizunami eking out a win over Nyla Rose in a fantastic match that earned her the tournament trophy and a shot at the title versus Hikaru Shida! Woo! 😎 In undercard news, Shawn “The Superior 10” Spears is back! He helped Tully Blanchard and FTR to a screwy finish in their match with Jurassic Express. Jack Evans also showed up to biff Dark Order’s lesser 10 in the head, allowing Max Caster to get his shitheeliest win yet.
I have to admit, the more people online rage about how bad Max Caster’s rapping is, it just makes me love/hate him more. He’s the best new heel since MJF, in my books. They should rename the Create-A-Pro Wrestling Academy to Create-A-Heel, with all the smarmy dudes coming out of there. Maybe Kris Statlander has an evil alter ego too? I mean, she has been abducting folks on BTE…
Speaking of aliens. 👉🤪 The Original Death Dealer started a late night public access YouTube show called Luther’s World about “cryptids, ghosts and the unexplained”. It’s not remotely wrestling related, but we do get Baron Black and Don Callis talking about their close encounters. Here’s Chapter 1. Watch at midnight.
Penelope Ford also started a vlog! Her First YouTube Video opens with Anna Jay and Tay Conti drinking pickle juice. The rest is just domestic stuff and home video of family outings with her now-husband Kip Sabian. If you enjoy this sort of peeking in on people’s private lives, I can also recommend the channel of The Acclaimed’s Anthony Bowens and his boyfriend. Their latest couples vlog mainly features them lying in bed with a laptop. It turns out that Bowens is injured, which is why Max Caster has been flying solo the past few weeks.
Anyway, that’s it for this little bonus roundup of under-the-radar YouTube debuts and wrestle-free shows. I’ll fill you in on all the BTE and Sammy’s vlog happenings next week, plus whatever Tony Schiavone and Paul Wight get up to in Monday Night Elevation.
Let’s cue up episode 78.
Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.
POP: Dustin don’t like pretty
Getting us off to the smoothest jazz start is the team of Pretty Peter Avalon and Sexy Cezar Bononi. Bononi pulls PPA in on a heart-shaped trolley, which is ridiculous. It’s also everything. They’re facing the Natural Nightmares.
Big time vibe.
Watch #AEWDark NOW – https://t.co/m5MtMJI4KI pic.twitter.com/2jB8hK3PHT— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) March 7, 2021
Bononi and Dustin Rhodes have a brief big man battle. Before too long QT Marshall tags in and traps himself in the pretty corner, where he gets stomped on by the baddies. He’s saved by Dustin who puts PPA down with an explosive bulldog.
BOTCH: It’s just not my thing
JD Drake is not my bag, but there must be someone at AEW who likes him, because he’s back again this week, facing Chuck Taylor.
Drake and Taylor spend a lot of time hugging each other. Not in the fun Best Friends way, in the boring MMA way. Taylor hits a drop kick. Drake hits a senton. They grimace, and grimace some more.
Taylor wins. Kip Sabian runs in to pulp Orange Cassidy. Then Miro comes in to cut a short promo and kick Taylor in the head. It’s all very by the numbers.
POP: The arm breaker is back
Also getting a warm-up ahead of Revolution is Penta el Zero M. He’s facing debuting Azrieal.
Penta’s been out with a leg injury for a few months, but he looks pretty good here, throwing plenty of stiff kicks. Azrieal’s got some moves too, hitting an enziguri while Penta’s up on the turnbuckle. He follows with a tope con hilo!
It’s not enough. Penta wins with a destroyer and his arm snap.
OK: Swole reminds us she’s here
Next up we have Big Swole coming out to cut a promo. It’s one of those worked shoot type angles where she complains about being underutilized and overlooked in the recent tournament. It doesn’t win any points for creativity, but she delivers it well. I’ll be honest – when it comes to the women’s division I’ll take any promos we can get. I do hope it leads somewhere interesting.
POP: Smiling monster
Another Revolution warm-up match is “The Murderhawk Monster” Lance Archer versus jobber John Skyler.
Archer flattens Skyler right from the bell. I was never much a fan of Archer in his time squashing people on Dark, but he’s developed a stronger character in his Dynamite outings, and I kinda dig him now. It helps that Skyler shows some resilience here. Dude barely manages a single shot of his own, but he keeps popping back up like a bop bag, which gives Archer something to play off.
After the win, Jake “The Snake” Roberts gets the ball rolling on a very slick promo which transitions to Archer promising to clobber Cody Rhodes and everyone else on his way to the TNT title. I’m sold.
BOTCH: Please, only one more week of this
Ricky Starks and Brian Cage of Team Taz are warming up versus Angel Fashion and Fuego del Sol.
Del Sol gets passed from Starks to Cage and vertical suplexed. Fashion gets a kick or two in, but then he is drillclawed. The end.
Team Taz has three solid wrestlers, great team outfits and fabulously chiseled bods, but that’s all they got. They have been treading water for months now. I really hope the PPV puts an end to this overcooked Sting/Darby feud and these guys can move on to something that gives them more room to express themselves.
POP: St Patrick gets to wrestle
With 40 minutes of PPV warm-ups now out of the way, here’s the kind of Dark match I tune in for. We have Jack Evans of TH2 versus Jake St Patrick, who has jobbed out a bunch of times over the past few weeks.
Dude still gets jobber entranced today, but Evans gives him space to do a little more than just take bumps. Evans gets off to a crisp start, with holds and chokes and throws – oh my! Then St Patrick has the chance to come back, hitting a nice PK and diving double stomp. He’s flattened by Evans’ corkscrew kick, but comes back with a few jumping kicks of his own! St Patrick hits the Falcon Arrow!
Jack Evans kicks out of the Falcon Arrow! Nobody kicks out, et cetera. Evans hits a 630 senton to finish off the visitor. Now that St Patrick has been revealed as a fairly solid “serious” wrestler, I’m hype to see more. This is probably the best match of the night.
THE ACCLAIMED LADDER MATCH PROMO
ATTENTION. ATTENTION. A NEW MV HAS DROPPED.
“Ladder match, ladder match, make the haters sadder match!” It’s perfect.
POP: Jobbers with attitude
I forgot to mention in my Dynamite weecap that D3 – the Roman centurion – popped up briefly to get killed by PAC and Fénix. Now he’s back here on Dark with M’Badu to get some time in versus Gunn Club!
Austin hits a quick chain of moves, but he’s a bit too cocky and lets D3 escape to his corner, where M’Badu tags in to toss the smaller Gunn kid across the ring. The Nigerian hits a decent powerslam then lets our centurion in to hit a cutter. Austin hams up the rookie offense, staggering about the ring and swinging blindly like a character in a cartoon and I fucking love it!
The Gunn Club hit the 3:10 to Yuma on D3 for the win. They never fail to put a smile on my face with their theatrical antics and wholesome energy.
POP: Price finding a groove
One hour in, we finally get a women’s match. What is this, Dynamite?
Surprisingly Tesha Price is granted the honor of having her own entrance! She must have been working on it, because she shows a bit of character in her poses tonight. Thunder Rosa storms in looking all business, and immediately puts Price to the mat for a near fall.
Price is in a good mood this week, it seems. She keeps mugging, even when she gets hit! Did she become a comedy wrestler overnight? Whatever it is, I dig it. Rosa wins.
POP: Whole lotta meat
Indie stars Bear Country are also here to face Occult Pro Wrestling Star RYZIN and mystery jobber Cameron (formerly Calvin?) Stewart.
Ryzin foolishly extends a priestly finger at Bronson, who grabs it and twists with a deliciously fatigued look on his face. The two exchange strikes. Stewart tags in only to get thrown around like a ragdoll. Boulder lifts up both jobbers and bodyslams them together. Then it’s time for the finisher, which involves a lot of heavy flesh falling from a great height.
Poor Stewart, imagine you get your first match on AEW, but instead of jobbing out for Orange Cassidy you go to sleep with 500 pounds of bear crashing down on your head.
The Butcher, The Blade and The Bunny run in to continue the feud of the Bs.
BOTCH: You need more than just character
Dark Order’s Alan “5” Angels and Preston “10” Vance haven’t tagged together much recently, but tonight they’re in action versus metaler Vary Morales and debuting LaBron Kozone.
10 and Kozone collide a few times. Angels and Morales bring a bit more lucha stylings. Five and Dime hit a combo dropkick/fallaway slam.
In general this match doesn’t really come together. All the wrestlers have distinct personalities, but the spots don’t connect well and don’t flow smoothly from one to the next. Dark Order wins, but who cares?
BOTCH: And again, but now with the women
Tay Conti introduces New Yorker Leila Grey to AEW. She launches into her usual judo-based offense, but Grey doesn’t have the repertoire to respond in kind. Grey has her posing for the camera schtick down pat, but none of her moves look dangerous, and she doesn’t really sell for Conti either.
Conti wins.
FINE: Greek yoga with cinnamon
It’s main event time! Chaos Project versus Matt and Mike Sydal! Both these teams are appearing in the battle royale at Revolution, so the outcome of this bout is harder to predict.
The Sydal brothers namaste-ing each other before the match will never get old for me. Perhaps I’ve just known too many of these guys in real life, but douchey hippie is a great gimmick.
Shit breaks down immediately, and the yoga bros glide into a synchronized Matrix evasion. Mike hits a splitting michinoku driver! Sonny Kiss has got some competition in the flexibility stakes, my word.
This match drags a little bit during the Mike Sydal beatdown, but it’s a good background watch as Excalibur and Taz natter about painting and Luther comes up with ever more creative ways to slam Serpentico into his opponent.
why, @KillLutherKill, why#AEWDark pic.twitter.com/35TIgEThnc
— SNAKEMAN (Television Goon) 🐍👑 (@KingSerpentico) March 7, 2021
Matt gets the hot tag and jumps and kicks his way to the win.
So that’s it! Definitely not the best Dark we ever had, but an alright warm-up for the PPV.
Are you feeling pumped for Revolution? I have to admit to generally being less interested in main roster stuff than undercard action, but the women’s championship match should be a lot of fun and a different style from what we usually get in the AEW women’s division. Check out their last meeting back in 2019! Another match set up since my last column is Riho and Thunder Rosa versus Britt Baker and Rebel “Not Reba”, which could have some entertaining spots too. Of course all the VPs are in action as well, and loads of our favorite tag teams, so there will be something for everyone. I’ll see y’all next week to mop up after the main PPV recap, and cover all the YouTube content.
