The whole internet – or, the whole of this tiny corner, at least – has been abuzz with excitement this week over the Women’s World Championship Eliminator Tournament, and the reintroduction of joshi power to AEW. Exciting stuff is happening on the men’s side too! What a time to be alive! Will AEW Dark have its own surprises? Read our February 9 recap to find out.
Last time on Dark…
Tony Schiavone sunk our Bricky ship. Proud and Powerful dominated so hard they didn’t even give the other team a chance to tag – again! Rey Fénix was more sporting with his jobber opponent. Read more in our February 2 recap.
Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…
Folks, it’s rumored our new Dynamite columnist is milling about backstage – maybe they’re there in the tunnel as we speak, lurking just out of sight of the hard cam! Hold on to your hats! In the mean time, I’ll try hit the highlights from last week’s Beach Break episode.
Jericho survived the battle royal, granting him and MJF a title shot and thoroughly pissing off his Inner Circle stablemates who seem to be getting tired of living in the demo-god’s shadow. Private Party got screwed over by The Good Brothers. Britt Baker got a win over Thunder Rosa after knocking her out on the (thanks to Rebel’s shenanigans) exposed turnbuckle. Penelope Ford and Kip Sabian got married. Chuck Taylor cuffed Miro to the steel ring post while he was distracted singing a 90s eurodance classic, then Orange Cassidy jumped out of the cake. It was awesome. Some other main roster stuff happened, then freakin’ KENTA (known to some as Hideo Atami) popped out to beat up Jon Moxley while Kenny Omega watched on! And somewhere in there we got the 8 joshis announced for the Japanese conference of the eliminator tournament too! Action-packed epi!
Sing along with Miro to get you in the festive mood…
Back in wrestle land, on Being The Elite episode 242, Alan “5” Angels continued being dumped on by the rest of the Dark Order. Maybe they don’t dig his boy band project over on Sammy Guevara’s vlog? Poor guy is out of sync with the gang, leaving his Valentine’s Day card in Adam Page’s jacket while everyone else turned their attention to MJF’s forgotten henchman Wardlow. Also this week in Love Stories of AEW, Kris Statlander serenaded Orange Cassidy! Trigger warning: Matt Hardy is heel AF in the closing scene, and I hate him.
Sammy Guevara’s vlog (episode 306) features the missing cleaner girls from last week’s Dynamite and Jerry Lynn wearing all of the props in Charlie Ramone’s boiler room slash secret lair. Sammy, QT Marshall, Vary Morales and Fuego del Sol get into it in front of the BTE green screen. Later on, Fuego also gets his ass kicked by some up-and-comers at the Nightmare Factory.
Let’s cue up episode 74.
Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.
POP: The latest nightmare runs wild
Our opening match features wild man and new Nightmare Family inductee Nick Comoroto teaming up with the Natural Nightmares once again. Our random jobber trio didn’t even get any entrance music! We have Vary Morales teamed with Jersey Muscle Society, who we last saw back in November in an unremarkable outing versus The Butcher and The Blade.
Dustin Rhodes starts it off for his fam by beating up one of the Jersey muscle men who the commentators don’t even bother telling us who it is. Excalibur finally lets us know it was Tony Vincita after he tags out to his partner Steve Gibki. Moments later Vary Morales gets the tag. He shows some spunk in orchestrating a QT Marshall beatdown. Alas, the moment the Jersey muscles tag back in they get taken out with a double flying clothesline, which gives QT time to tag out and have Comoroto clean house.
Morales eats the pin. Poor Jersey Muscle Society, apparently doomed to be AEW’s no-name jobbers, even when they’re flown halfway down the country to compete.
POP: Just a little wrestling
Another new member of the Nightmare Family is Aaron Solow, which means the Shotty and Solow tag team might have some legs! They’re in action here against SCU, who are still fighting every match with the stipulation that if they lose, they will break up. Kinda ruins the suspense a bit in these Dark matches then, huh?
Anyway, the match is as good as you would hope from this bunch.
Lee Johnson and Christopher Daniels are first in the ring. Big Shotty is such a natural face that he doesn’t capitalize when CD takes a moment to compose himself, and that’s to his detriment as CD comes back with a solid chain of moves. Frankie Kazarian comes in to mete out a little more veteran punishment before Johnson makes the tag to Solow. Solow and Kaz continue the technical showcase. Shotty takes CD on an airplane spin. It’s a very evenly-balanced bout.
SCU get the win. I was craving a little storyline by the end of it but, eh. Every episode of Dark needs a few of these wrestling for wrestling’s sake matches.
BOTCH: St. Patrick gets squashed again
Next up we get “The Machine” Brian Cage! He is facing Jake St. Patrick who also got the jobber’s entrance. I gotta say, I appreciate the attempt to trim the fat on these YouTube shows, but leaving out the entrance is trimming the good fats! It’s the entrance that lets us know who the guy is and gives us a reason to care.
Fortunately I remember this guy from the past two weeks: “every day is St. Patrick’s day, baby!”
Well, today’s not. The guy gets drill-clawed into oblivion. Third time in a row and it’s getting tedious now.
POP: A DING DING
Fortunately The Acclaimed are here to save the day, as they drop another hilarious MV ahead of their match versus Jericho and MJF on Dynamite.
⬇️ NEW MUSIC VIDEO by The Acclaimed ⬇️#AEWDark @CasterShow @Bowens_Official pic.twitter.com/vqneSFrcfI
— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) February 10, 2021
The track features a prominent sample of last year’s Dinner Debonair segment, and they also hijacked the increasingly-infamous green screen to project Rosie O’Donnell in the background as a deep cut dig at MJF’s childhood appearance on the show. I mean, it’s the YouTubiest shit ever, and it’s kind of everything.
These guys are the most hateable heels when they go low, but when they’re tweening to dunk on the top card heels, they’re even better.
Here’s an old clip back from when MJF and Max Caster were on the same side…
Even though we're fighting on #AEWDynamite this Wednesday, I want to say no hard feelings to my long time friend @The_MJF
I made this song a few years ago to highlight MJF's big heart ❤️
He's such a GOOD PERSON. And he LOVES this song 🙂#MicDrop 🎤⬇️💥 pic.twitter.com/QavDQTV57w
— ''Platinum'' Max Caster (@CasterShow) February 8, 2021
POP: A good kind of squash
We’re lucky to have Nyla Rose join us back on Dark this week. She’s facing Miranda Alize, who I last saw several years ago losing to Rhea Ripley in NXT’s Mae Young Classic. She’s been pretty busy on the indies since (and even showed up on a few early episodes of Dark), but that won’t count for much versus The Native Beast. Jobber’s entrance too. Sigh.
Alize gets first blood with a kick to Rose’s stomach. The beast is too strong, though, coming back to slam the Texan to the mat. Alize does her best to try cut down the bigger woman with some low strikes and an attempted hurricanrana, but no dice.
Rose takes this with authority.
POP: Serious men looking serious
Another surprise main roster appearance is “The Bastard” PAC, facing off with “The Other Guy Whose Name Is Three Letters” VSK. I’ve decided to stop complaining that none of these jobbers are getting entrances, and instead I will go back and listen to The Acclaimed sing “A Ding Ding” in between every match.
PAC gets VSK into the corner at the top of the match, and the way VSK glares back at him reminds me a bit of Amos from The Expanse. Now I can’t get that comparison out of my mind.
It’s not a bad image to work with, giving some imagined depth to the slow start. VSK eats all the punishment until he finally comes back with a stiff punch to the jaw, neckbreaker and diving uppercut. Yeah!
Two seconds later he submits to PAC’s brutalizer. Ah well, it was fun while it lasted.
POP: More splits than a Vegas chorus line
Here’s one of the matches I was most looking forward to this week – Sonny Kiss meets KC Navarro in a face-off of the beautiful youngsters. Ricky Starks joins us on commentary.
Navarro and Kiss lock up. Their first exchange is slick and smooth, culminating in a splitting leg drop. Kiss continues dominating with his sharp kicks till Navarro finds his mettle and manages to connect with a few high-flying lucha moves.
Kiss takes it with a handspring axe kick into a strung-up Navarro, then a stunner where the action comes from dropping straight into the splits. Looks painful for the both of them!
POP: Short, sweet, fun
Opening the second half of the card is Tay Conti up against “The Pink Dream” Alex Gracia.
Conti gets into it with some robust kicks, then somehow the two women tangle up and roll across the whole ring and fall to the outside. I’m not sure if it was supposed to be a comedy spot, but it put a smile on my face. Gracia hits the 619. Conti hits a violent DDT. These two are a delight to watch!
Conti gets the win by submision. Gracia seems to be starting to hit her stride.
FTR: Didn’t show up for their own run-in
A couple weeks ago some random jobber appeared on Dynamite who is related to a WWE main roster guy who I don’t know who it is (Dolph Ziggler). Anyway, that jobber is back this week – “The Hollywood Hunk” Ryan Nemeth. He’s facing Marko Stunt.
Amusingly, Nemeth snatches up a mic to let us know how great he is, even though nobody knows who he is. It’s a ballsy move, and stands out in a show that has been largely devoid of entrances.
Stunt comes out and goes hog wild, showing off his bad mood persona that we’ve seen more frequently on BTE and Sammy’s vlog. Nemeth comes back doing all kinds of heel stuff, then wins it after a brief distraction of FTR’s music hitting.
FTR does not show up. Nobody shows up. I feel like some overzealous editor sliced away half the episode.
POP: Sexy sax men and soldiers
Pretty Peter Avalon and Cezar “Daddy” Bononi might be a thing now. To recap how this happened, we need to go back to the Zoolander-inspired walk off angle that PPA pivoted to after his Pretty Peter’s Pageant Provocation invitational didn’t really go over as well as his deliciously awkward hotel room promos.
After losing the walk off to Nightmare Family’s Lee Johnson, PPA called in his new muscle – Cezar Bononi, a big man from the WWE Performance Center who never really clicked in NXT. When Bononi moved to AEW, he left behind his generic tough guy image, and grew a tiny moustache that instantly transformed him into a Tom of Finland model. Which is to say, he is the perfect henchman for equally-sleazy Pretty Peter Avalon. Anyway, Cody Rhodes came to Lee Johnson’s aid in the post-walk off beatdown, and now PPA and Bononi have a match scheduled on Dynamite versus Cody and Shotty. Tonight, PPA and Bononi will be getting some practice in with “The Captain” Shawn Dean and “Almost NATO Alphabet Guy” Carlie Bravo. I can’t wait!
Allow us to Reintroduce ourselves, we are, The Infantry. Tonight, @TheAEWDark, it’s time to Go to War. #theINFANTRY 💣 @ShawnDean773 pic.twitter.com/wOsQww0IM8
— Carlie Bravo (@carliebravo) February 9, 2021
Good thing I don’t have to any more because Shawn Dean is coming through the tunnel, and he got entrance music! Woo! He and CB both come out pushing the military angle, waving the stars and stripes like it’s still 2001. I love it. PPA and Bononi enter from the heel tunnel looking like kings. Be still, my beating heart!
Bononi throws Bravo to the ground. Bravo comes back with a punch to the face. Not the face! PPA tags in and we get some aerial hijinks as the three smaller men bounce around and batter one another. Bononi pulls some oldskool heel tricks, then starts an emphatic thrashing of Bravo. Shawn Dean gets the hot tag! Clothesline! Clothesline! Suplex!
It’s not enough. PPA wins with his marti-knees. These guys have all the character and all the charisma, and they make a good case for why jobbers should still get storylines.
FINE: Black and Vance
Dark Order’s Preston “10” Vance run as a singles competitor continues tonight versus “The Empbruh” Baron Black.
According to commentary, these two guys train together, and they do look pretty comfortable in the ring, putting together a nice opening sequence. The pacing is fairly deliberate, which is not normally my style of wrestling, but it doesn’t outlast its welcome. It speaks to Black’s versatility that he can work a fairly slow, “big man” style match with Vance just as good as his recent barn burner with Fénix.
10 takes it. It’s fine.
MEH: Just, meh
Diamante is getting another solo outing this week versus Red Velvet. Neither of these two women made it into the American conference of the eliminator tournament, so they both have something to prove to the powers that be.
Well, Red Velvet has aligned herself with Cody Rhodes, so I think we all know how this will go. Velvet has the upper hand to start, hitting several of her trademark maneuvers before getting caught up in the ropes and eating a suplex from Diamante.
The commentators spend half the match talking about Cody’s tedious angle with Shaquillle O’Neal, which doesn’t do much to put over these women who admittedly need the help in this match, which isn’t their best. Red Velvet wins.
POP: Spot fests are best fests
Our main event of the evening is a match with big indie vibes – “Dragon Killer” Jack Evans versus “The Bad Boy” Joey Janela!
Evans gets straight into it, flipping and jumping all over the place in some mud show mayhem. Janela gives as good as he gets, and both of these dudes are diving off shit and taking glorious bumps. There’s no storyline here, but these two have the sort of in-ring charisma and acrobatic skills to sell the show.
Janela almost wins it with a package pile driver after Evans misses a 450. Kicked out at 2 point 9 recurring! Damn! Janela goes back to basics and delivers a diving elbow to finally put his opponent to sleep. It’s my match of the night!
My big disappointment of this episode was the abundance of jobber entrances. It might not seem like a big deal, but it robs the visiting talent of the chance to sell themselves and makes the show feel like exactly what critics claim it to be – a squash parade that only exists to inflate the win/loss records of the signed talent. Sure, that’s one part of what Dark is, but the other part is a developmental show, the kind of place where we might find the break-out stars of tomorrow! You gotta at least give these indie guys a chance to shine.
Anyway, aside from that it was fun show.
Dynamite this week has an underwhelming line-up for top card fans, but there will be a lot of undercard action. Lee Johnson is teaming with stable boss Cody Rhodes to fight Pretty Peter Avalon and Cezar Bononi. The Acclaimed will be facing Jericho and MJF. Joey Janela will take on Darby Allin in a title match! Plus, the eliminator tournament will be opened with Thunder Rosa versus Leyla Hirsch! Should be good. Enjoy the pyro and the snow, and I’ll meet you back here in the jabroni nook next week.
