When we last left our heroes…
We felt the tender, loving care at Tables, Ladders & Chairs! Another light outing from The Blue Brand, but they still put on a great showing with only two matches on the main card. Carmella came up short despite a wine expert on her side, while Roman Reigns & Kevin Owens went to war, throwing their hat in the ring with a late entry for Match Of The Year consideration.
Merry Christmas, you filthy animals! WWE pretaped tonight’s episode, which can go either way in terms of quality. On the one hand, they have the advantage to edit or redo something if it goes south, but on the other they can decide to mail it in hard for the holidays. Which end of the spectrum did we end up with? Let’s find out if our stockings were stuffed with treats, or if we got a lump of Michael Cole.
Reignsdeer Games
Why can’t this be one of the feuds in WWE that lasts six months instead? Forget the ones that center around dog food & eye removal, let’s go ahead with making the basis fantastic wrestling matches with great characters. I may just have revolutionized wrestling, you guys. While it wasn’t their TLC match level great, Reigns vs. Owens in a steel cage was very well done. These two compliment each other really well right now as two pissed off jerks who just want to throw bombs, so you could put them in a tennis match & I’d still be glued to the television.
Owens hits Reigns with everything he can, but after finally realizing Reigns eats finishers for breakfast, is forced to use escape as his only option for a win. This of course summons Jey Uso, who in turn handcuffs Owens to the cage & informs him he is now in The Uso Penitentiary. This allows Roman to smugly walk out with a huge shit-eating grin on his face the entire time. What an asshole. I love him. I also love that kendo sticks & handcuffs are so readily available in WWE. Like there’s a wholesale store in Tampa or something & they just decided to stock up one day during the pandemic like those things were toilet paper.
I personally hate the door escape as a means to win a cage match, but I think this one was one of the better ones I’ve seen & is so perfectly heel Roman, that I’ll allow it. You can also buy Owens’ desperation too as his only means to win after exhausting all other options. Truthfully, the door shouldn’t even exist & they need to limit the number of ways that match can be won down to either escape or pinfall/submission. If the point is you WANT to be locked in there with an opponent, watching someone desperately try to run out a door kills that narrative.
That’s a minor nitpick, though. The match is still great & Reigns is on an absolute hot streak of bangers this year. I’m curious where this leaves him for The Rumble. Bryan already declared himself for The Rumble Match, Big E just won The IC Title, so that doesn’t leave too many options available. I can’t see them giving him to Owens again after losing both at TLC & in a cage. However, if they do decide to go with a part three, you for sure will not hear any complaints from me about it.
Ugly Sweater Party
They did the thing!!
Zayn’s grand scheme of winning matches by count out finally comes to a end with a Lumberjack Match. I still don’t get why he’s the villain for getting wins, when it’s more on his opponents for chasing after him like idiots & getting themselves counted out, but whatever. The match itself is as good as a Lumberjack one can be with the heels beating down the good guy, while the other good guys at ringside make frowny faces instead of intervening. There is a nice comedy spot with the face Lumberjacks carrying Zayn back to the ring after he breaks free up the ramp & Apollo Crews chases him down in about 0.5 seconds. All that skanking really doesn’t build the leg muscles, huh? None of that matter though as we’re all here for the outcome.
I’m a little surprised they pulled the trigger on this with the chance there would be a tiny audience given the holiday, but who cares. Big E is finally (finally) a singles champion again! His singles run began in earnest months ago, so it was nice to see them finally commit to it after a couple start & stop runs with Miz, Morrison, & Sheamus. I think the best part is E has ready made feuds with a lot of guys on Smackdown’s roster, so they can really go anywhere with him they want. He’s got years of tag history with Jey Uso, Cesaro or Nakamura, Kevin Owens turning on Kofi last year, or they can continue with Zayn. I’m so excited for his run that it honestly doesn’t matter. Just give the guy a big match at this year’s Rumble. He’s earned it.
Jingle Belles
Look at this SmackDown Six, everybody. Can I trade the rest of the women’s division over to RAW (except for Billie Kay, who by no chance is on The Naughty List) & keep this for the next year?
Charlotte & Asuka grace us with their presence after WWE finally remembers that they promised The Women’s Tag Team Championships would be defended across all three brands. I’m going to go by the impression that Shayna & Nia never went down to NXT as Nia would most likely break half their division in half for realsies, while Shayna would change her name to Shaliyah & never return to RAW again. The Champs are now going by “The Queens Of Tomorrow” (so… The Princesses?) & are met with a Christmas Promo Parade featuring EVIL Baymella & The Fresh Princesses (Banks & Belair). Get Sasha an Escalade with a “FRESH” license plate & dice in the mirror ASAP. If you’re wondering where the actual only women’s tag team in WWE was, The Riotts are seen side-eyeing a television in the back, probably wondering aloud why they didn’t think to be singles stars, tag up, then get a title shot that way.
I probably don’t have to tell you that the ensuing triple threat is really good. I know that may come as a shocker, but having hands down four out of the top six women wrestlers between RAW & SmackDown in the ring at one time helps a bunch. I think Carmella & Bianca are certainly in the top ten, but I might give a nod to Shayna ahead of them at this moment. Everybody gets to shine & these matches tend to work a lot better in an elimination capacity as they can allow each participant to be showcased.
As expected, The Champs retain on their first defense. Part of me wishes Baymella took them down just to see how Sasha Banks would’ve reacted to Bayley being a titleholder again, but Charlotte & Asuka losing was never in doubt. I’m hoping they stick around for a show or two & The Riotts get to finally have a worthwhile title feud or if they’re just going back to RAW for Sexy Muscle Friends & The IIronics. In any event, I’m glad WWE looks to be putting a little bit of effort into the women’s tag division with all these teams. The Rumble usually means all hands on deck for the women since they don’t have the numbers to fill out a thirty person match, but it would be nice to see a solid title match there.
WrestleMania Sign Point(settia)
Now that I can finally stop forcing Christmas puns, let’s get to the most intriguing portion of the evening. I have this match ranked at the bottom of the show, but don’t let that sour you on anything. This episode was absolutely loaded & the fact that something like this ranks last is a testament to that. While it wasn’t as good as their previous outings, Bryan & Jey once again delivered.
One thing Jey Uso has been exceptional at lately is building up opponents for Reigns down the line. We all saw Jey go toe to toe with Roman & almost come out on top, so if guys can get past him, that plants the idea that they may have a chance dethroning Reigns. I don’t love it for Jey since I think he should be more than fodder, but he’s doing the job so well that it’s hard to complain. Jey can rage & beat guys down backstage or in the ring, but ultimately they can prevail & move up the ladder. Just look at the last month with Owens. That’s exactly what’s going on here.
And I know that’s what’s happening as Talking Smack continues to harken back to the Renee Young glory days with some must see segments these past few weeks. Bryan becomes the first to declare for next year’s Royal Rumble on this episode, but this promo above makes me think he just may have a chance to win the damn thing this time around. Bryan probably should’ve won at least one by now, so if it’s not going to be this one, I’m not sure it ever happens. I don’t think he necessarily needs to win it to get to Reigns since he’s been kicking his cousin’s ass for months now, but Reigns has shown to not care for wins or losses that aren’t his own, so maybe he does need more convincing to give Bryan a shot. All I know is it took literally one person to say their Rumble bound & I’m already all the way in.
Overall
Worth Your Time: Reigns vs. Owens, Women’s Triple Threat Tag, Zayn vs. Big E
If You Have Time: Bryan vs. Jey Uso
Don’t Waste Time: Nothing. A True SmackDown Christmas Miracle.
That’s Christmas SmackDown, gang. Without hyperbole, possibly the best weekly show of the year for them. Maybe even across all three brands. The only other thing I could think of was Halloween Havoc. Do we needs to start scheduling WWE around holidays going forward? I think we might. What did you think of tonight other than it was awesome? Drop a comment or hit up The Discord & let your thoughts be known. I see you guys next Friday & in the meantime, please enjoy the gift of Romans Reigns’ heel run until then. Merry Christmas!!
