Previously at Tables, Ladders & Chairs…
Bobby Lashley took out Handsome Rusev (Awwww), Charlotte tried to slap some sense into Kairi Sane (AWWWW), & King Corbin defeated Roman Reigns during the hellscape that was their feud last year (AHHHH).
A lot of championship matches stacked TLC’s card for tonight as WWE looked to close out 2020 on a high note. Were any new champions crowned? Any surprise returns? Attempted murders?? Only one way to find out. Now let’s go ahead & dive into WWE: Crazysexycool.
GIMME A HELL YEAH!
Ooooohhhhh baby, do we have a live one here, gang.
If you read my review this past Friday, you knew that I refused to believe this match would be anything but fantastic. Roman Reigns is hands down the hottest thing in WWE currently & Kevin Owens has been given a much needed edge again. The combination of the two had to be great as long as WWE didn’t WWE everywhere & overthink it. Happy to report these guys delivered big time. This was a fight. Can you imagine me telling you three years ago that Ultra Heel Roman Reigns would be squaring off against Sympathetic Babyface Kevin Owens? Your head would’ve exploded.
Kevin Owens is on a short list of the most well rounded performers in all of professional wrestling. We can name dozens of great workers & a good amount of solid talkers, but there are few & far between that can put it all together on an elite level like he can. Owens started doing The Stunner about a year ago & this is the most he’s looked like Stone Cold Steve Austin. He comes out like he was shot out of a cannon, completely ditching his entrance & jumping Roman right out of the shoot. Too many times WWE neglects this aspect of rivalries. If you’re embroiled in a personal, intense feud with a guy, there’s no need for pomp & circumstance, just get to punching them in the face. Owens comes out so hard & fast, that Jey Uso needs to run out for a save about two minutes in. That significantly helps the match as TLC really suffers when it’s a one on one affair. Having a guy that can help set up tables & ladders really negates the lulls in action (we’ll get into that more later).
And if there’s one thing this match has, it’s a boatload of action. I didn’t go back & count, but I recall at least five tables people went through, the announce desk, the barricade, Owens Pillmanizing Jey’s ankle (with his six inch vertical), along with various other chair & ladder shots. KO was a master of the little things in this match too. Any time he was alone on the ladder reaching for the belt, he reacted by trying to grab it faster whenever Roman or Jey tried to stop him as opposed to other idiots in these matches who just stand there devoid of all motor function. That adds to the story though as his haste makes the belt swing away from him, enabling his opponent to take him out of position. Owens continues to go full Austin & combat the odds best he can, but The Damned Numbers Game proves to be too much the entire match. People are complaining that nobody came to his aid, but this is Kevin Owens we’re talking about. Gee, I wonder why nobody would help him? That’s great continuity.
Even though I didn’t think Owens would pull it out, he fights from under so believably & started kicking so much ass towards the end, I was audibly rooting for him to pull off the upset. That’s the sign of a great match. It sucks you in to think the outcome you believe has no chance of happening just might come true. The only thing missing from this was Samoa Joe’s bloodlust from the next match would’ve made a much better listening experience than Michael Cole’s shout explanations. We have to vote on Match of The Year for SRP soon & I’m going to really need to think about where this match is going to land on that list. If you’re out on WWE lately & just swing by here to stay updated, find this match & watch it immediately. Five Stars. Six in Tokyo Thunderdome.
The TLC LLC
A lot of things probably could’ve taken the second spot on this edition of The Top-Down, but I gave the nod to this simply because I love what they’re doing with Cedric Alexander right now. There’s of course that this match is great as well, but that’s a given. New Day title matches on pay per views are pretty much a guaranteed hit & I think we might take for granted just how consistently outstanding the matches they have are. This one probably doesn’t compare to the classics with The Usos, but even with that, it’s still a top notch outing.
Back to up his own ass Alexander, though. He’s been the best part of the group for a while now, becoming too big for his britches thinking he’s the the one that makes this group. But Cedric’s been backing it up & getting the wins, so you can’t fully discredit him. That’s pivotal if this subplot is going to work. If he thinks he’s great & just loses a bunch, congratulations, you’re The Miz. If you’re a smug jerk & can get championships, you can justify it. I also like the added wrinkle that he maybe stole the pin from Shelton. I’m not sure Shelton Benjamin has pinned anybody since the first Obama Administration, so it’s probably not the worst call by Alexander here.
In the end, The Hurt Business now have three out five possible belts on RAW & while I don’t love factions holding a bunch of titles for too long, they can make this work for a month or two. Run MVP up against McIntyre, you cowards! Or have him set up an elaborate trap to pin R-Truth. Either way.
Mella Is Done-y
I think this match served as Carmella’s coming out party & she showed she is definitely top of the card material when it comes to the women’s division. I’ve felt that way longer than most, but didn’t have a lot of ammunition to back it up, but this match is officially Exhibit A. I was really worried that after Asuka & Bayley, SmackDown’s women’s scene at the championship level was going to have a precipitous drop in quality & WWE would panic, sending Natalya out there for the hundredth time to crickets. It’s great to see that this isn’t the case.
Speaking on superstars becoming well rounded, while she’s nowhere near the Kevin Owens level I was talking about in the opener, the big knock on Mella was her in-ring work & she really shined tonight. Sasha being on the other end certainly helps as she’ll sell a hip toss like stepping on a landmine, yet a lot of praise deservedly goes to Carmella. She’s diversified her move set a good amount & was out there twisting Sasha up like she’s been watching old Dean Malenko tapes. Her new gear is also miles better than the red latex, so kudos to that too.
There’s a lot of good submission wrestling throughout as well as some hard hitting moves on the apron & outside. Sasha gets the victory, which I don’t think anybody thought wouldn’t happen, but giving her a solid win with minimal bullshit feels like a revelation given most of her matches this year, so I’ll take it. I am curious where that leaves Sasha heading into The Rumble. You can maybe squeeze one more match out of this feud, but it’ll be interesting to see if they pull the trigger on Bianca or have her go at it with Bayley there instead. Am I making a path for Billie Kay versus Sasha Banks at The Royal Rumble. Perhaps. But you can’t prove anything.
The Kawooki Warriors
**h/t to PDragon619 for that heading. I’m not even going to try to top it.**
This part is probably the most divisive thing on the entire show, so here it is smack dab in the middle of this review. I’m speaking specifically about the return of Charlotte Flair. You can love or hate her (I personally love), but it is undeniable she is an absolute superstar. That’s not conjecture, it’s a fact. She brings a pedigree to WWE with a combination of athleticism, name recognition, looks, lineage & winning that is unrivaled. And I’m not talking about for just the women’s division, I mean WWE as a whole. Everything feels more important with her around. You can rattle off a handful of great Charlotte matches easily & there’s a reason for that. Big Match Charlotte is the real deal & I’ll take her in a high stakes contest any day of the week.
With that being said & as much as I’m glad she’s back, I’d be lying if I said I liked her involvement here. The main issue being that this entire feud is based around somebody who’s not there. Lana got put through a table by Nia & Shayna so many times these past two months that WWE made a damn montage of it & aired the thing on RAW repeatedly. The logical conclusion to that is she gets a partner & with TLC on the horizon, gets her redemption in a Tables Match there. That’s simple A to B to C storytelling I always talk about. Instead we got A to B to 7 to division symbol to cowboy emoji. They write Lana off with an injury, scrap the table stipulation entirely & substitute Charlotte Flair in on a whim. Say what you want to about Lana, but that’s a pretty big fucking drag if you’re her.
The match itself is pretty solid, even though you knew exactly what was going to happen the second the club mix of “Sprach Zarathustra” hits. Charlotte looks better than ever & with Becky gone, that’ll be a great asset as we head into Rumble & Mania season. I don’t love these two as a team, mostly because they’re laughably overpowered on their own in WWE, so who the hell is going to unseat them? The only believable scenario with them losing is by their own undoing, so look forward to that, I guess. I’m also pretty over “Anybody Two-Belts” at this point. You have the most stacked women’s division in wrestling history. There’s no need to double up somebody as a champion. Becky Lynch made it cool & Bayley perfected it. Let’s move on.
Grave Of The Firefly
This is one of those things I liked a lot more in the moment, but now that it’s a day later, I think I’m a lot less into it. I completely understand if you liked it for what it was, I just am left here with a lot more questions than answers & that’s what’s driving my uncertainty on how to judge it. Was it bad? No. Was it good, though? I also think no.
A big reason for that is I had assumed going in that this would be a cinematic affair, so when it turned out to be an actual Inferno Match, that shook me a little bit. Don’t call it a “Firefly” match & then do an in-ring affair. I hear that word & automatically am taken to The Mania match with John Cena, so you’re putting yourself already at a disadvantage by evoking that thought. And as much history as Bray & Orton have, the build & execution felt a lot more lacking than what Wyatt was able to accomplish with Cena or Braun Strowman.
Then there’s the match, which while filled with cool visuals & absurd moments, is also loaded with ridiculous decision making by each guy. Randy Orton normally wrestles in what basically amounts to speedos every time out, so he decides that covering himself in flammable clothing from head to toe is the best strategy heading into a match where getting lit on fire is a loss. All those voices in his head & not a single one is a sound strategist. On top of that, they choose to do Regular Match for about ten minutes in the ring, as matches revolving around arson normally do, until The Fiend suddenly remembers the name of the match & magically has ringside burst into flames. So let me get this straight: The Fiend can both teleport & summon fire at will. Why don’t you just warp behind Randy & stuff a fireball in his back pocket then? Scarlett Bordeaux is shaking her heading at how poor your lighting somebody ablaze skill is.
I know I sound like I’m shitting all over it, but there are a lot of cool spots & if you can detach from any logic & view the thing more as a slasher movie as opposed to a wrestling match, you’ll get a lot more out of it. The Fiend lighting weapons on fire made for cool visuals. Then there was taking a swing at Orton with a pick axe, My Bloody Valentine style. Cremating a dead body is a lot easier than a live one, so I liked his thinking. Orton eventually wins. I think. No bell ever rings & Tom Phillips says so after The Fiend has been on fire for a solid two minutes, so we’ll go with that. Orton does his best grade school fire safety officer by stopping him in his tracks, dropping him with an RKO & rolling him over just to… set him on fire again? Oh.
I guess The Fiend is dead now? I’m sure that’s not actually the case, but it was an interesting story beat to say the least. I’m sure he’ll show up again soon perfectly fine. AJ Styles sold getting buried alive at WrestleMania with mild annoyance, so expect more of the same here. I am wondering however if that means “The Fiend” is gone for good & they evolve this character into something different. I’ve liked almost everything Wyatt has been doing since debuting The Firefly Funhouse, so I’ll give him the benefit of the doubt if they do indeed change it up. As for now, we’re left big time in wait & see mode. Maybe Ramblin’ Rabbit can sacrifice his immortality for The Fiend.
Mizstakes Were Made
As I eluded to at the top, one on one TLC matches are really not all that great. Somebody pointed out on our Discord during the live thread that these things work best at minimum as a triple threat & they’re 100% correct. There’s way too much down time in the first half of this between the setting up of hardware & the submissions that while it lays solid groundwork for what’s to come, it’s absolutely boring as all hell to watch. Compare this with the other TLC Match, which was a giant sprint, & it looks even worse. It’s a shame too, because Styles has a great game plan & executes it really well. He works McIntyre’s knee all match, which not only hinders him when it comes to The Claymore, but makes it that much more difficult for him to climb the ladder & retrieve his title.
Nobody’s going to remember any of that though as this is all about Miz & one of the worst Money In The Bank cash-ins in WWE history. To think he paid off Judge JBL with all that money just for this. Miz takes his shot with Drew hobbled & Styles incapacitated after being tossed out of the ring through a table. It’s pretty sound planning as he doesn’t have to physically pin anybody to become champ. He then slams Drew through a different table & with Morrison there too, we’re looking at what seems like surefire WWE Champion Mike Mizanin. Instead, Omos grabs Miz off the ladder, cradles him like a literal baby & hurls him through a table on the outside. I’m assuming Morrison was nowhere around to help as he saw all the furniture at ringside & couldn’t help himself to some parkour.
I still have no idea why Omos does this. Keep in mind that Styles openly declared that he was actively rooting for Miz to successfully cash-in his briefcase, since that means it’s an easier path for Styles to become WWE Champion. Having to beat this version of Drew McIntyre versus this version of Miz is like having to defeat The T-1000 versus a roomba. Omos was standing right by Styles’ side too when he said this, so you can’t even make the argument he’s unaware. If anything, Omos should’ve had Miz stand on his shoulders & unhooked the belt from there. I guess you could stand on the point that Styles could’ve won now & doesn’t want to later, but that’s iffy at best.
So now we have McIntyre overcoming a four on one disadvantage because the heels are a bunch of bumbling idiots who can’t get on the same page despite them being on the same page as of a week ago. I don’t know, man. Sometimes you can justify how/why WWE comes to these bad booking ideas, but I’m lost on this one. There’s the talking point too that Miz never technically cashed in & Morrison did it for him, which isn’t allowed, so we’ll see how that plays out. I’d be desperate for a mulligan too if that was my attempt. The shame at Castle Mar-Miz right now must be through the roof.
PreLC
I thought about forgoing this portion of the show completely, but since it plays a role in getting us to a title match down the line, here it is (yay?). The amount of talent in this match relegated to preshow status is borderline criminal. It’s like asking The NBA All Star Team to come play pickup at your local YMCA. Every single guy in this match is a former champion in some right, save for Otis, who is the most recent Money In The Bank winner. For the record, I doubt he would’ve been cradled like a baby by Omos had he cashed in tonight.
Beyond that disappointing fact, how about this one in that this whole thing just serves as a backdrop for a challenger to pin the champion in a non-title affair. Excuse me while I take down the “1” & replace it with a “0” on my “It has been __ shows since X has pinned a champion” scoreboard. Shout out to WWE for seeing me praise them for stopping that streak this past Friday & shutting that shit down with the quickness. They announce a title match between Zayn & Big E for the next SmackDown later on in the show, so at least we have something to look forward to. Extra bonus points if they coronate Big E as new Intercontinental Champion this Friday, which is on Christmas, when nobody’s watching & then wonder aloud why he isn’t a draw.
Overall
Worth Your Time: Reigns vs. Owens, New Day vs. Hurt Business, Carmella vs. Sasha
If You Have Time: Firefly Inferno, Women’s Tag
Don’t Waste Time: Styles vs McIntyre, 8-Man Preshow Tag
And that’s TLC, everybody. Pretty good! Do I dare say a show of the year candidate? If anything, they certainly closed the year on a high note. Even the stuff towards the bottom wasn’t all that bad (except for The Miz cash-in. That stunk). How did you guys like everything? As always, you can hit us up below or on our Discord. We’re all over social media now too, so give us a follow. We appreciate you guys help build this up these past six months.
More importantly, it’s RUMBLE SEASON BAY BAY!! Get excited for massive run ins closing out shows as we head towards my favorite show of the year. With thirty people in the ring, Tropicana Field might have the most people in it ever. Join us as we build up to then & I’ll catch you guys next time.
