One half of The Tag Team Champions was pinned, The Intercontinental Champion shockingly wasn’t, & Billie Kay was unable to get it done with a new partner (totally the new partner’s fault). Also, Roman Reigns may or may not be willing to kill his opponent ahead of TLC. I’m sure his stance has waned a little & nothing will happen tonight because of it.
TLC is THIS SUNDAY, everybody! We hit the go-home show tonight looking to get excited about all the… uhh… two matches announced for The Blue Brand. SmackDown was also moved to FS1 for this episode, which is a usually a telltale sign that the effort level won’t be good. Did SmackDown buck expectations? Are we hyped for Sunday? Let’s find out.
Die Owens Die
WWE does this thing practically every RAW or SmackDown nowadays where they attempt to thread a main story throughout the entire show, with varying degrees of success. We’ve seen it literally hundreds of times now & you know exactly what I’m talking about. Someone will come down to the ring to open the show, get promo trained on or jumped from behind, then we’re off to our main event. WWE is also sure to hit us with anywhere from two to nine recap videos in the interim, because they think we’re Guy Pearce in Memento. They may or may not check in with the players involved once or twice beforehand, but usually the opener just acts as a MacGuffin to get to the main event. Every now & again though, they absolutely nail the concept down with huge success.
Kevin Owens is sick & tired of Roman Reigns’ bullshit, particularly the part where he keeps getting his ass kicked because of it. He opens tonight’s show to get Roman down to the ring, but naturally gets Big Dogged. Owens charges into the back to break into Reigns’ locker room, but Roman rope-a-dopes him & comes to the ring to continue his evolution into a ridiculous asshole. That small tweak alone is enough to add another level to Reigns being a heel, but more importantly subverts the trope we’ve seen before into something just a little different & hold our attention. Of course it’s all a ruse so Owens can again get jumped from behind, but we’re not done.
This complete act of defiance is not what Reigns is looking for these days, so he straight up puts a hit out on Owens that he wants Jey Uso to execute. No word if there’s a Tribal Chief Bounty up for grabs, but here’s hoping. Now we have a way to check in with everybody involved with the main story throughout the show. However, instead of endless replays or Hey Kayla interviews, we’re met with Jey jumping Owens from behind in a back hallway & in the trainer’s room. That’s such a better a way to go about telling the story. I don’t need Owens being asked about why he’s angry by some backstage interviewer. We know why he’s angry. Throw something else at us to inform your story.
Everything I just mentioned informs the ending, which again sees Owens get his ass handed to him. Reigns gives KO the same option before it happens that he gave Jey, submit or die, but when your slogan consists three words & two of them are “fight”, it’s safe to say you know which way Owens is going to lean. He gives it his best effort, but the cumulative damage throughout the night inflicted by Jey is too much to overcome. See. Cause & effect. Owens still manages to grab a microphone after & say he’ll beat Roman come Sunday or die trying. At this rate, Reigns might oblige him. The entire point is it’s simple A to B to C storytelling that makes sense & gets you excited to see the next chapter.
And speaking of things that get you excited, the best occurrence of the night in a walk that wasn’t even on the show, took place on Talking Smack right after:
Just… pic.twitter.com/miQR09OANR
— Kevin (@FightOwensFight) December 19, 2020
Fighting. pic.twitter.com/L8HGIArvyf
— Kevin (@FightOwensFight) December 19, 2020
If you’re not looking forward to Reigns versus Owens for The Universal Championship after that, you may want to check your pulse because there’s a chance you are legally deceased. There’s something that’s so much more effective about a guy clearly, yet calmly describing his intentions. Compare this to the opener of SmackDown with Owens shouting, which is still pretty good, but one clearly holds your attention over the other.
I’m rarely big time hyped for a match heading into a pay per view, but I am all the way into this match for TLC. You have an all time villain right now with Reigns & a very easy to get behind Kevin Owens, who’s gone through hell to get to this point. The sides & motivations are clearly defined. If that this match doesn’t deliver I will legitimately be shocked & I’m not joking when I say it could be a contender for Match of The Year when it’s over. Let’s fucking go.
Sufferin’ Suffix Attached
Now that I just wrote eight hundred words on Owens & Reigns, here’s everything else!
As much as I love Bayley, somebody’s got to give her a quick lesson on superlatives. It goes “good, better, best”, so you claiming you’re the “E-R” up against the “E-S-T’, you’re admitting Bianca is better than you. And as great as Bianca is, we all know The Captain has been on the short list of the best acts of the whole year.
These two have a lot of chemistry in the ring together & unsurprisingly had a very solid match. At this point, I think Bayley could drag a four star match out of Byron Saxton, so her & Bianca doing this well isn’t exactly breaking news. As good as this was, I’m going to go against the grain a little bit & say I’m glad there was the shady finish since it gives us a path to more matches between them. I know I should hold my breath as WWE feuds can range anywhere from two weeks to four hundred years, but this one deserves a little more time in the oven.
And please enjoy Bayley being a wonderful goober afterwards. That’s not how doorbells work, but of course I forgive you.
And The Winner Is…
I personally loved this segment. I completely understand if some of you did not, but Sami Zayn’s commitment to the entire bit is commendable. There’s so many little things I thought worked. Highlights include but are not limited to:
- Sami Zayn looking like he just came from his junior prom.
- Big E looking like he just raided Bob Backlund’s wardrobe.
- What appears to be a weight belt that Big E inverted to pass as a cummerbund.
- Zayn giving himself Match of The Year & it being possible for him being right.
- Graves’ reactions of “Yes!” & “He did it!” after Zayn gave himself awards.
- Those friggin’ award statues.
- Big E thanking his college therapist first, followed by Notre Dame football for “covering the spread in advance” (Note: They absolutely did not).
- Zayn going full Christian Bale/Tom Cruise in the aftermath, freaking out on some poor soul backstage.
The thought of some poor intern or Zayn himself spray painting action figures gold, canned goods black, & supergluing the two together is laugh out loud funny. Zack Ryder & Curt Hawkins need to update us on the value of one of these babies after an appraisal, real quick. And Zayn better recreate this photo even quicker.
With all that said, no match has been scheduled for TLC as of right now, so it looks like they’re going to spin their wheels with this feud a little longer. As long as they’re being creative with it & not having the challenger pin the champion every week (We finally broke that streak on this episode! Hooray!), I don’t have any complaints. I’m coming around on the idea of Big E taking Zayn’s title at The Royal Rumble & we can make 2021 the year of The E.
The Cheat Profits
I still don’t know how I feel about this match. The wrestling was very good & I really dug the story they were telling with Ziggler & Roode targeting Ford’s midsection the entire time. The Profits usually win with a giant Frog Splash, so that’s a no brainer game plan to target Ford’s ribs. Even if he hits the move, his damage meter is too high & can’t capitalize. That spot does indeed happen, but it’s about three quarters of the way through. The problem comes in in that it doesn’t really have anything to do with the actual ending.
If you missed it, Roode goes for a roll-up on Ford, but he grabs the tights for leverage. Ford rolls through & uses Roode’s tights for leverage instead to cheat for a victory. Some people are in different camps about this topic, but I’m of the belief that if the heels are cheating, that doesn’t mean the babyfaces should get to cheat as a response. Maybe I just have the image of Sami Zayn throwing The NXT Championship aside with the referee knocked out against Neville burned into my brain, but your win is a lot more credible to me if you actually earned it as opposed to turnabout being fair play or whatever. Not to mention, you made all that in-ring storytelling I talked about above null & void with the ending you chose to go with.
Now The Profits have the one win against Roode & Ziggler, but it’s tainted, while Roode & Ziggler have a win against them, but it’s clean. The heels even take it a step further tonight & argue with the referee after the match about being cheated, which they were. What am I supposed to do with that? Cheer for the bad guys who were wronged or for the heroes who are cheaters? You’re doing it backwards, guys. I refuse to make Dolph Ziggler a sympathetic figure & you can’t make me.
The Caterpillars Of Success
I’ll probably forget about this match the second I hit publish on this article, but it was fine little outing by both guys. The fact they’re even running three separate tag team stories should be considered the upset of the year, so I can’t really give them shit for putting the effort into the tag scene after back burnering it all year for the most part.
Otis has become a lot better in the ring since his NXT days & Nakamura is freaking Shinsuke Nakamura. I assumed that Gable again would steer Otis in the wrong direction, causing him to take the loss, but he actually gives good advice & tells him to ditch The Caterpillar & just suplex Nak instead. The Caterpillar stinks & it’s ridiculous that it was ever a finisher to begin with. Gable is right. What’s going to cause more damage? The Hoss doing the worm before a basic elbow drop or him tossing you over his head & slamming you on the mat? That’s Alpha Academy 101, people.
It’s A Champagne Bash
In a bit of a weird flex, Carmella decides to throw a celebration for her SmackDown Women’s Championship win before she actually wins the thing. Not exactly the move I would’ve done, but Mella also thinks Sasha Banks is jealous of her even though Banks is the champion, so I guess it’s par for the course. Any sort of self congratulatory heel act is effectively a Bat Signal for the babyface to come out & ruin it, so without having seen the show or watching the clip above, I’m sure you can figure out how this whole thing played out.
The entire segment didn’t really bring anything new to the table from what we’ve been seeing these last few weeks, so I’m more or less on the same page heading into their title match on Sunday. Given how well the first match went, I am optimistic they’ll deliver again with hopefully the added bonus of a non-wonky finish. Sasha Banks would probably be the Wrestler of The Year if there didn’t exist a handful of dreadful finishes weighing her down. All I ask is we don’t get that again here & we’re not looking at Mimosa Mayhem II heading into The Royal Rumble.
…Her?
Bless Billie Kay’s little cotton socks for trying to squeeze the most out of this. I give superstars a lot more credit when they’re in a story that doesn’t have a championship as its main focus & you can visibly see them trying their best to get the thing over. That’s the entire point after all. It’s why it’s hard to hate on people like Miz & Morrison. Yeah, their shit is really stupid & corny sometimes, but you can tell they’re having fun, so that makes everything so much more palatable. Would it be better if they were a serious tag team & got marquee wins? Of course. But what they’re doing now works too since they want to make whatever they’re doing enjoyable to watch. I also want to give a quick shout out to SmackDown for running three separate women’s stories, none of which revolve around a guy. Now just get rid of the stupid jealousy angles & we’ll be in business.
I like this Billie Kay story on paper, however in practice it hasn’t been very good, despite her best efforts. I also think it’s a situation where I like where this story could be going & they’re just laying the groundwork to get there, so the beginning is supposed to be bad by design. The match itself is 100% predictable, so really nothing to report there. I think this entire thing works if the endgame is Billie Kay with somebody like Vanessa Bourne or Rhea Ripley or Chelsea Green, so there’s still a lot of potential & I’m not willing to call it a lost cause now that both Natalya & Tamina are off the board. Although I’m not sure FOX would agree to a team with a Chelsea & a Bill, so maybe scratch that New Green Deal.
Overall
Worth Your Time: All The Reigns/KO Stuff, Bayley vs. Bianca
If You Have Time: The Sami Awards, The Street Profits vs. Roode & Ziggler, Otis vs. Nakamura
Don’t Waste Time: The Champagne Toast, The Riotts vs. Billie & Tamina
There’s your go-home show for TLC, wrestle friends. The Blue Team only has two matches as of right now heading into that show, so looking like a light night. But hot damn if one of them doesn’t have nuclear heat heading in & a surefire pay per view main event. Are you feeling excited for Reigns vs. Owens? Maybe more for Banks & Carmella? Maybe been fantasy booking Asuka’s mystery partner all week?? Let us know below or over on our Discord how you’re feeling about Furniture Wars this Sunday. Be sure to follow SRP & we’ll keep you updated on the results, then hit you with a review for TLC. Until then, get as hype as possible despite the complete lack of Stairs Matches this year.
