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Pops & Botches: AEW Dynamite – 10.28.2020

AEW Dynamite Pops & Botches Recaps & Reviews

 

Before we start, let us pay respects to the late Tracy Smothers who passed away yesterday.

To the greatest Italian in the history of professional wrestling! (#s 2 and 3 are Bruno Sammartino, and Salvatore Sincere, natch)

Wardlow vs. Page

We open up with Wardlow and MJF backstage. MJF says, because Wardlow’s contract is with him, if Wardlow wins the championship, it legally means MJF is the champ. This is of course completely against precedent as we all know in the case of the people vs. DiBiase, Ted and Giant, Andre in the famous “plastic surgery referee switcheroo” fiasco of 1998.

(If professional wrestling had supreme court, who would be on it? With all the weird bureaucracy heels, I can’t think of a single wrestling judge. Hmm. Oh well. I can’t think of any clever way to frame it, but “RBG outta nowhere!” has a nice ring to it.)

Sammy Guevara has some words for MJF, namely over oversized jacket shenanigans. He vows that MJF will NEVER be in the Inner Circle.

The match starts out fast with Hangman going for the kill early, which Wardlow counteracts by slowly grinding Page down. There’s a near countout after Wardlow shitcans Page through the guardrail, but Page gets back just in time for Wardlow to kick him around a few more minutes.

There’s an interesting back and forth clothesline dealy, obviously setting up doubt that the Buckshot Lariat will be enough to bring the big* man down.

*Average pro wrestler size, at best.

It takes two loads of buckshot (which from here out should require a commentary of “HE NEEDED BOTH BARRELS!”) , and the Hangman moves on to face the winner of Penta and Omega.  OMG, YOU GUYZ, DID YOU REALIZE THIS MEANS HE MIGHT HAVE TO FACE HIS FORMER PARTNER? Hopefully that’s how it pans out, that would be an exciting match to naturally happen on it’s own!

 

BOTCH: MoxSpot

Does Mox have a part time job with bad hours? Because it feels like 80% of his Dynamite appearances are these pre-taped packages. Guys, I get that Mox is a great promo guy, but we’re getting diminishing returns when you make him do it every single week. “I crack skulls! That’s what I do! I’ll be back next week to tell you the same! Now if you’ll excuse me, old man Caruthers is gonna chew me out if I don’t restock the fishing poles.”

POP: Shut up and FIGHT

Eddie immediately echoes my sentiment and says, “Where is he? I’m sick of talking, I’m ready to fight.” FINALLY.

Something I’ve never seen before, Eddie kicks the cameraman out of the ring. Small touch, but one more thing to make me love this scumbag. I secretly hope their I Quit match ends in 30 seconds when Kingston just shanks Mox in the ribs with a sharpened screwdriver.

Kingston has a warmup match tonight against Matt Sydal (as in Sui- and Homi- and Regi-Sydal). The match ends as it should, with Eddie wrenching his neck and demanding he say “I Quit” well after the bell. This match is gonna RRRRUUULLLEEEE, as long as Moxley can get his shift covered and actually show up.

BOTCH: Bucks FTR: Point/Counterpoint

All you need to know about this segment is, if the Bucks don’t win, they say they’ll never challenge for the titles again.

Am I the only one that does not give a flying poop about the story leading into this match? Like, do in-ring stuff to move the story along, if you must. FTR have shown themselves to be glorious dicks with in-ring promos where they can back it up, but the backstage thing just feels…weird. Guys, we aren’t here for stakes in the match. We all just wanna see flips and fisting, I don’t care about the motivation behind the flipping or the pride in the fisting. Just SuperFist and FlipKick each other already!*

*Tony Hawk fans will of course remember that chaining FlipKicks and SuperFisting together gets you Bonus points.

 

Literal Botch: Production Note

Tony K., are your headphones not working? I doubt the patrons of the Roman Coliseum, watching Christians be torn apart by lions in togas, were ANYWHERE near this loud. The whole show, the crowd volume has them freaking the fuck out like Eddie Guerrero returned from the dead and frogsplashed VKM in the middle of the ring. We’re past the first year, get your levels figured.

 

POP: Town Hall

More genius with the Town Hall of MJF and Jericho. Starting immediately “From 65 million BC” is the well-spoken (and well-educated) Luchasaurus who asks an economic question. Even better, MJF IS PREPARED! How prepared? POWERPOINT PREPARED! He has a chart ready to go showing that Inner Circle is more profitable than ever since his candidacy!

Is it bad I’m jealous of the education of a Dinosaur? Though I suppose you’ve gotta kill 65 million years somehow, might was well get your Master’s degree.

Peter Avalon adorably asks if he can join the Inner Circle only to be laughed away. It’s okay Petey, you miss 100% of the shots you don’t take. Go ask the Dark Order! Or try and join Gunn and Son! The Butcher, The Blade, The Bunny, and The (Li)Brarian has a nice ring to it.

ERIC BISCHOFF shows up to ask how they’ll ever be successful if they don’t sign Hulk Hogan to the Inner Circle and push him to the moon?

Actually, he quotes Kennedy (not Mr. Or the VJ. The “-FK” one) and asks what will MJF do for the Inner Circle? MJF says, “Friendship”. Follow-up, “What do you believe the Inner Circle can do for you?” MJF concedes he’s not the best team player, but he hopes joining the talented members of the Inner Circle, he can learn to be. (Dawww)

Bisch says Jericho has been a prima donna in the past, which leads Jericho to protest, only for Schiavone to tell him to shut up for a WAY LOUDER THAN IT SHOULD BE POP BECAUSE NOBODY IS WORKING THE LEVELS.

MJF gets heated that he’s been bending backwards for Jerichos approval and gotten nothing in return. Despite giving Jericho the best segment of his career and the best SEGMENT IN THE HISTORY OF THE SPORT (PREACH!), what does he have to DO?

Jericho drops it: if you beat me at Full Gear, you’re in the Inner Circle.

Ortiz interrupts to say that he and Sammy don’t want him in the IC (don’t call it that) and that next week, MJF and Wardlow vs. Sammy and Ortiz to make sure he doesn’t make it to Full Gear.

BOTCH: Orange Cassidy Cody LumberMatch ReJack

So, let’s be honest: lumberjack matches aren’t that great. They also don’t really make sense in this situation. Usually they’re used when there’s A)A feud that continually has interference. Or B) A feud where the heel is being cowardly and keeps bailing rather than fighting it out. Cody and OC’s original ended on a time limit. Wouldn’t it make sense to be a “No Time Limit” match? Hell, even in the TNT wrestling tradition, make it a “No Limit Hoodie Hoo Master P & Friends” Lumberjack match.

Moreover, it’s one of those stipulations that f***cks up all the regular physics of a standard wrestling match. Wrestlers that typically run the ropes with ease get all “Whoopsie-doodle!” and suddenly fall through the ropes every 3 seconds. Add to that dynamic that neither competitor is really a heel and the “Good guys/Bad guys lumberjacks” spend the first chunk of the match standing around bored with no motivation.

Which is honestly a shame, because there’s some good action inside the ropes for this match. Orange continues to show comfort with actually caring and putting forth effort. Cody continues to show himself as a great workhorse. A superplex off the top of the SteelRingPost (.com) gives a great visual for future show intros. Cody wraps it up for the win after the Dark Order and Arn Anderson interfere and ALL HELL BREAKS LOOSE ™, with particular attention paid to Darby in the stands and the Gunns cleaning house.

(Author’s note: While watching this match, my non-wrestling-liking fiance wandered into the room, took one look at Cody’s neck tattoo, and muttered, “Yuck! You don’t start on a neck tattoo bro, that’s what you get tatted when you’re out of space.” Hell yeah, babe.)

POP: Serena Deeb’s Nutz

So AEW is scrambling a little bit. They’ve given a lot of airtime to Thunder Rosa, NWA women’s world champion, lately. Well, WWE liked what they saw. Rather, they liked what they saw but didn’t care for the show they saw it own, so they (reportedly) signed Thunder Rosa to WWE. Within days of this, NWA had her drop the belt to Serena Deeb, who then promptly boarded a flight to Jacksonville to appear as on AEW. So…Serena less won the championship, as opposed to being recast as the champion. Not that this is unique in wrestling, but there is a little bit of, “Please ignore that lady we’ve put over as NWA champion for weeks, turns out she’s…uh…not as cool as we thought?”

Serena’s taking on Too Legit To Quit, Layla Hirsch. I would’ve thought that this would be a reputation maker match where Deeb just thrashes the girl to assert her new dominance and encourage us to forget Thunder Rosa. Surprisingly, we get a lot of back and forth. Hirsch actually spends a good chunk of the match kicking the shit out of Deeb. Honestly, I’d venture to say despite the inevitable loss, Hirsch looked the more dominant of the two! She’s got a powerful “chop-em-down-to-size” style that made me think of a shrunken lady Miro/Rusev.

Here’s hoping WWE doesn’t decide to let Deeb get over before hiring her back for a 2-week story where she tries to get Retribution to go Straight Edge and shave their heads.

POP: Shawn Spears: Mess with Bull, Gets Horns

Shawn Spears comes out to destroy VSK with precisely one Death Valley Driver for the win when a pesky man in a bull costume throws halloween candy at him. The reveals himself to be…80S BREAKFAST CLUB VILLAIN, PRINCIPAL VERNON.

Spears and Molly Ringwald would actually make a cute couple

Scorpio Sky gives Spears what-for with a TKO and puts him on notice for a future confrontation.

POP: Broken Hearts Collide

Omega gets another great Accolade-laden introduction, including quotes from ESPN, Bleacher Report, and that he has an old high school friend that resides in North Carolina. Moreover, his “Sweeper Gals” are now wearing bikinis and Lucha Bros. masks, instantly creating a confusing new fetish for many wrestling fans, myself included.

As you may recall, this match was originally Rey Fenix’s tournament match. However, injury (and a little nudge from Eddie Kingston) lead to Penta taking his place, supposedly only their 2nd one-on-one match ever. Kenny still has some taunting involved for Rey as he wears to the ring his AAA championship that he won from him.

It’s pretty great seeing singles star Omega back in action. Last week we got a quick dick-tease with a one-move destruction on Sonny Kiss. This week we get the Kenny Omega of old. Don’t get me wrong, the guy is a great in-ring storyteller. It’s part of the reason his loss of confidence in Hangman as his tag partner was so intriguing. But to see the one-winged-angel confident and aggressive again is a great reminder that he didn’t get all those Observer stars for nothing.

Penta looks great as well with early chop taunts and “Cero-Miedo”-ing about, but he’s merely a supporting character right now. We know this is leading to Hangman Page vs.

Omega in a “Try-Not-To-Cry-We-Could’ve-Been-Great” physical soap opera for the ages. Maybe AEW will take a cue from Dinner Debonair and score the match with cheesy dramatic music? (Do it, cowards.)

Penta fights valiantly, and eats several sick-sounding V-triggers that are so convincing you expect to see knocked out teeth on the mat. (Before remembering the teeth are painted on.) But after several attempts, Kenny nails the OWA, and we’re finally on the road we knew we’d be on. Omega vs. Hangman, at Full Gear.

That’s all gang, we’ll see you next week!

Follow @jessedraham, find Jesse’s comedy @MrJezzicho on Youtube, and listen to his podcast about the 96 David Foster Wallace novel, “I Hate Infinite Jest”.

     

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