AEW c/o @kimberlasskick (Twitter)

Pops & Botches: AEW Dynamite Grand Slam – 09.22.21

 

IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Heya folks! Are you ready? Bryan Danielson makes his in-ring return this week against that damned Kenny Omega! I’m excited as all hell for this match and the stories that will come from it going forward. I trust these two implicitly to make all the wrestling dreams I don’t know that I have yet come true. In all my excitement, it’s already been a week since The Real Best Friends beat up Minoru Suzuki and Lance Archer. Those guys probably aren’t even friends anyway! It’s also been a week since Jade Cargill went a few minutes longer with Leyla Hirsch than she ever did in her previous longest matches. You could say, it was pretty legit. Alright, let’s get to the fireworks factory for this week! Hey, whatever happened to TL Hopper…?

POP: WASTE NO TIME!

Well holy shit, Timmy! I guess we aren’t wasting any time getting to the Bryan Danielson/Kenny Omega match. Of course it’s not the main event. I mean, why would it be? IT’S ONLY THE BIGGEST MATCH IN DYNAMITE HISTORY. Also, props to Justin Roberts (again) for the way he hits North Carolina in Kenny’s entrance. It’s glorious, purely glorious. The crowd absolutely lose their fucking minds (me too NYC, me too) when the bell rings. I think the boys appreciated it also:

They didn’t calm down AT ALL when Kenny and Bryan locked up for the first time. This crowd is fire and I’m absolutely here for it. Although, I wish I was actually THERE for it. That would have been sick. Bryan’s first move as an All Elitist? Naturally, a kick to the chest, which Kenny sells phenomenally. In a surprise to absolutely, literally no one, Bryan kicks Omega a lot. What I didn’t expect was the amount of chops that Omega would return fire with. Danielson’s chest was damn near bleeding from all the chops. His chest looks like it has the stretch marks of a pregnant woman’s stomach. I’m just saying, Danielson has taken a lot of chops. Who does Kenny Omega think he is? Charlotte Flair or something?

To see Bryan Danielson flying around the ring again, flipping over dudes, hitting a top-rope hurricanrana, is such a wonderful reminder that this is exactly what we’ve been missing the last few years of our lives. Not only that, you can see the passion and joy in both of these guys as they throws slaps, feet, suplexes and even the kitchen sink at one point at each other. Kenny hits a V-Trigger against the ropes where he runs down the length of the ramp and even that didn’t put Danielson away!

The only way this match could end is in a 30-minute time limit draw. Of course! When the Super Kliq comes down to save Omega and triple superkick the face off Bryan, Jurassic Express and Christian Cage come down to chase them off. WHAT TOOK YOU GUYS SO LONG?!? Poor Danielson ate those superkicks for no damn reason. If I was Bryan, I’d be extremely pissed at them.  You know, once his brain unscrambles.

Speaking of Bryan’s brain, this is the first match since his return that I wasn’t worried about him landing wrong or botching himself into paralysis. Homie was out here taking dragon suplexes onto the ramp and from the top rope. Was it because I blindly trust him and Kenny Omega or is it because I believe that dude knows exactly what he’s doing and will listen to his body? I don’t know. But I do know that this match was fucking great. FUCKING. GREAT. To get it on free TV was a hell of a choice by the brass at AEW but I’m not mad about it. I loved Danielson’s moment (and matches) at Wrestlemania 30 but this match just hit different. So different.

Seriously, how DO you follow that match?

BOTCH: The Answer is, You Can’t

I feel terrible for MJF and Brian Pillman. First off, this match should have had a much longer storyline, especially with the things that Friedman said about Pillman’s family, most notably his dad. When it first popped up, I wanted a super long, extremely hateful feud. Instead, we get two weeks and a clean win from MJF. Although, clean is relative as it was the weakest looking Salt of Life I’d ever seen. I was also very confused why Julia Hart was wearing an Oregon Ducks (your #3 team in the country by the way!) cheerleader outfit instead of matching Flyin’ Brian Jr with an orange/black/yellow variation? What cheerleader wears a different color scheme than their team?!? Probably a weird thing to get upset with but damnit, give me cheerleader continuity!

BOTCH: Ole’ Ole’ Ole’ (not Anderson)

Speaking of long, drawn out stories, Cody makes his in-ring return tonight against Malakai Black, the man who has been coming after every member of the Nightmare Family. In a surprise twist and in no way at all related to their upcoming reality show, Brandi Rhodes also returns and accompanies Cody and Arn out to the ring. The best part of the entire match was easily Brandi sliding into the ring after Black knocked Cody out of the ring, sitting cross-legged, flipping him off and yelling “Fuck You!” right in his face. (See video directly above). For some reason, Cody was dressed like an American Matador (no, not that one) and I’m not sure why. Does he think an actual matador is a nightmare to Americans? Does he think Americans give two thoughts to matadors? Wait. Does he think Americans know what a matador is?!?

I have gripes, you guys. Big gripes. First off, Cody should have wanted nothing more than killing Malakai Black for the consternation he has caused his “family”. I wanted to see Cody just attempt actual murder. He should have been disqualified early and used homicidal violence to kill Black. Instead, he fought a very bland Cody match (Brandi’s shenanigans notwithstanding). Also, Arn Anderson got up on the wrong side of the apron then fell off while trying to maneuver around the (steel)ringpost to get in correct position. It definitely slowed down the ending of the match. Worst part, there wasn’t a clean finish. Cody pushed the ref away and Malakai spit in his eyes to get a small-package win. I’m underwhelmed. Not even whelmed. Less than that. Just underwhelmed.

POP: War Paint Daddies

Alright! Back to our regularly scheduled programming of short-term stories with big fight payoffs. Last week, The Pinnacle wiped off the facepaint of Sting and Darby Allin. This week, they fight about it. Sting and Darby come out with their best facepaint on. I’m not sure if the new paint is just thicker or is literally unable to be wiped off but it definitely looks sick. Sidenote – with Sting’s spooky, snow entrance, it’s weird they still refer to him as being from Venice Beach, California.

What FTR lacks in facepaint of their own, they more than makeup for it (see what I did there? teehee) in knowledge and preparation. Trying to make a tag? Not gonna happen. Trying to hit a Coffin Drop to the outside on us? Not gonna happen. Their preparation allowed them to last longer in this match than they would had they not watched some film between towns. What they couldn’t prepare for is Sting’s 858 years in the business. Sting cinches in the Scorpion Deathlock and gets Darby to jump up on the top turnbuckle and hit Cash with the Coffin Drop. Three hands to the mat later and the Icon and his emo son are the victors!

POP: My Little Run Away

It’s been less than a month but Ruby Soho is already cashing in her chance for an AEW Women’s Championship match that she earned when she won the All Out Battle Royale over Labor Day Weekend. I’m not expecting her to win here (mainly because we’re still firmly entrenched in the era of D.M.D) but this match is going to rule. In true loner fashion, Ruby comes out alone while her opponent has TWO friends out with her, Rebel and Jamie Hayter.

Britt and Ruby go at each other with everything they have. Ruby hits a top rope Senton, Britt counters with a swinging neckbreaker on the outside:

They are absolutely trying to kill each other. Both ladies’ moves are crisp and violent, which is exactly what we’re looking for in a championship match. Unfortunately, the “damned numbers game” would come into play for the finish. Ruby knocks Baker out and then Rebel and Hayter interfered to stun Ruby just long enough that the good doctor was able to get the Lockjaw secured and that’s all she wrote for Ruby. Dr. Britt Baker D.M.D. closes out the show and is still YOUR AEW Women’s Champion! 

HOLY SHIT! What a show! Even though the middle botched me up a little bit, overall, the big moments made it all worth it. That Daniel Bryanson and Kenny Omega match was a masterpiece. Obviously, it opened up some stories. I’m sure we’ll get a Danielson/Cage/Jurassics vs The Elite match at some point to hopefully set up a Danielson/Omega rematch for the world title. Oh…uh….uh-oh.

Sigh…A boy can dream, can’t he? Ruby Soho looked like a million bucks this week, which again makes her former employer look terrible that they were unable to capitalize on her. All I know is I’m excited to see what happens this Friday on Rampage Grand Slam as we sprint forward toward the end of the year! Come along with me, shall you?

I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!