Previously on Friday Night Smackdown…
The Street Profits showed up just to get their RAW stink everywhere, Bayley killed Sasha Banks verbally after killing her literally, & Jey Uso learned what it was like to be in The Shield in 2015.
I got pretty much all positive reviews for the new format (Thanks, wrestle friends!), so I’ll keep this style for the foreseeable future. Tonight’s show featured return of The BOSS & a Samoan Street Fight as highlights as we look to finalize the card for Clash Of Champions. Let’s go ahead & get into it.
Bash A Banks
I’ll admit I got a little nervous at the beginning of this. Sasha’s crocodile tears & trying to force being heartbroken by Bayley’s betrayal, while justified, seriously does not jive with the story they’ve given us these past few months. Luckily, she pivots into BOSS Mode after a bit, which is the right move. As much as Bayley’s actions have been evil, don’t forget that Sasha is the one with the history of back stabbing & was side eyeing Bayley’s title this entire time. Whether or not that justifies her getting her neck snapped is up for debate, but that’s the nuance of the story. You can pick either side & have a cogent argument regarding which person you think is in the right.
Bayley of course is having none of it, as she shouldn’t. The foam neck brace might as well be a homing beacon for getting attacked, so she shows up just to chair Sasha into next week & attempt to re-Pillmanize her. Thankfully for Sasha, The Mysterio Family stunt doubles were on sight to stop Bayley’s attack. This is all good though as it keeps the feud in our minds, but at the same time is letting it simmer on the back burner while Bayley is occupied with Nikki Cross for the time being.
Maybe next time Skype in to work, Sasha. That was definitely a meeting that could’ve been an email.
Ucey’s Hot
Before we get to the actual match, do yourself a favor & go check out this Paul Heyman narrated video package Smackdown featured regarding Roman Reigns’ family history. WWE is always at its best when they acknowledge their history & use it to add gravitas to their stories as opposed to when they either pretend things didn’t happen or revise history to make things seem like they were better than they actually were. Attitude Era, I’m strongly looking in YOUR direction.
As for The Samoan Street Fight (What’s Samoan about it, Birdman? Shut up, that’s what), it’s a fun little spot fest that serves it’s purpose of making Jey look like a formidable competitor, much to the apparent surprise & temporary joy of Roman Reigns. I say temporary because Roman & Jey hug it out after the contest until Paul Heyman gets in the ring after Jey leaves & gives Roman a little glance that turns him into Big Serious Dog staring daggers through Jey as he’s got his back turned to him walking up the entrance ramp. I love that little added layer to the story. Roman naturally wants to be happy about his family doing well, but Heyman knows if you leave yourself open, you won’t be on top for very long in WWE. I don’t think anything extreme like Roman losing will come out of it or anything, but it adds a nice bit of character work that Reigns was sorely lacking in the past. If anything, it should serve to nicely cement his heel status when he annihilates Jey at their upcoming championship match.
Hardy-ware Store
Surprise of the evening goes to a match revolving around The Intercontinental Championship not getting ruined by interference. Nice of Jeff Hardy to at least wait until the finish before jumping everybody from behind. Not a surprise was how well Zayn & Styles worked together. I’m hoping either one of them takes the championship at Clash Of Champions & we get a proper blow off match between the two as this match was really good, but left enough out that I really want to see it under different circumstances without the threat of a run-in looming over the entire thing.
Hardy gets in & lays both guys out with a ladder, setting us up for the triple threat match we all knew was coming, but now with the added wrinkle of it being a ladder match. I did say last week I thought there wasn’t really anything they could do to lively up this feud & they went ahead & threw that in my face (Thanks for reading, WWE!). I kind of wish Styles & Zayn just looked at each other & were like “What? No! We’ve seen you in ladder matches!”. Obviously, that isn’t going to happen, but that match should not so low key steal the show. You get all the ridiculous Jeff Hardy ladder spots without asking him to carry an entire match around them at this point in his career & the other two are the other two, so I’m not worried about them. Looking forward to Sami Zayn hitting a Blue Thunder Bomb from the top of a ladder just to still get a two count.
Don’t Say The F Word
Let’s get the stuff that’s good out of the way first. The Moment Of Bliss segment worked really well when it was just Alexa & Nikki. Bliss accurately points out that Nikki is utter garbage when it comes to her record against Bayley, but Nikki’s rebuttal that Sasha is no longer a factor like she was before makes enough sense that it could be believed. That is a really good talking point. Not true. But still a good point nonetheless. There’s not a chance Bayley is losing, but you at least put it out there that it’s possible Cross is onto something.
Also good is the Alexa slow burn into The Fiendette. We’ve already discussed that at length in past columns, so no need to go over it again, but it is sort of hilarious that Alexa is voice activated but with a different name. If she’s just going to go around & start Sister Abigail-ing folks into the ground, I’m all for it. I hope another heel on the roster starts using it to their advantage. Have Bayley wander around backstage seeing Bliss & Naomi off in the distance & just yell “Ding Dong! Hello? It’s The FIEND!!“, then watch the chaos unfold.
The bad stuff happens when, say it with me now, Lacey Evans shows up to Lacey Evans all over everything. I don’t think anybody could use a soft reboot more than Lacey. Her character just doesn’t work at all. You’re asking her to be this cartoony Southern heel when you’ve got all these fleshed out, complex heels already on your show in Bayley, Sasha & Evil Bliss. So her showing up just to make stupid faces & call people Nasties really doesn’t hit.
I don’t think it’s all on Lacey, either. I think they’re just asking her to be too many things. She’s a Southern debutant sometimes, but also a WWII pin-up style girl other times & a heel on top of everything. People don’t want to equate military service or Southern charm with bad & snarky, because they’re not those things. I didn’t love her as a babyface, but there’s a serious disconnect between who she actually is & the amalgam of characters they’re asking her to portray. Just pick a lane for her. She’s not terrible in the ring, but the identity crisis is weighing her down.
The ensuing match with Nikki is fine. Lacey works her arm the entire match, which I guess helps set up her punch finisher? That’s a whole other topic too. A new finisher would do her wonders. Cross hulks up after getting face sanitized & wins it. I like the referee allowing for foreign cleaning supplies. You can never be too careful in these uncertain times. The good news is Nikki Cross actually gets a win heading into a pay per view as opposed to three straight losses like last time & Alexa smashes Lacey’s face into the floor for her insufferableness. Win-win.
Lose-cha-dors
The prospect of Cesaro against Gran Metalik certainly perked my ears up once it was announced, but sadly gets pretty bogged down by the rest of Lucha House Party’s squabbles at ring side. They do get a good amount of time & make the most of it, but it was hard to get into until the second half of the match once Kalisto & Lince Dorado were (rightfully) kicked out. What are they even arguing about? How to beat Cesaro? Have you tried rolling him up? That last line cut me deep, you guys.
I guess they’re working towards a split of LHP, which nobody is really clamoring for, but sure, whatever. Random aside, but for those keeping score, that would be the SIXTH tag team broken up by WWE on either RAW or Smackdown this year. Throw in the assumed split of Alexa & Nikki Cross as well as Nia & Shayna probably not being long for a partnership, then you’re at eight. I know Vince hates tag team wrestling, but come on. As of this writing, The Street Profits are literally the only tag team on RAW at the moment. Clean it up, WWE.
Also, everybody knows that you can’t be taken seriously as a luchador unless your out of ring attire consists solely of business suits. It’s the law. Whatever Casual Lucha Friday attire Kalisto & Dorado were working with isn’t going to cut it & I hope your party gets broken up now.
Big E Languish
This particular segment didn’t sit well with me. Big E creates a ruse to trap Sheamus after getting sneak attacked by him a couple weeks ago, succeeds at it, & then just doesn’t capitalize on it. Sheamus shoves the guy he conspired with in front of him, minorly inconveniencing E for a split second & then just lightly jogs away. Big E decides to completely give up on him & instead opts to MURDER the random NPC. Geez, guy. I know that dude was involved with getting you put through a car windshield & you’re pissed off about it, however he wasn’t the one who actually did it. Maybe you get him back somewhat, but doing the exact same thing that happened to you plus locking him a trunk seems like overkill. I’d have no problem if it was Sheamus in that guy’s place, but I hate when babyfaces are given unlimited revenge against heels who’ve wronged them. Eventually, you just look like a jerk instead of some righteous moral arbiter.
I’m also not really sure of the point of the whole thing. To show that Big E has an edge? He’s been on a win streak for months, I think that’s already pretty apparent. Maybe they’re going to build towards a gimmick match with Sheamus & need to show Big E can thrive in different types of situations, but again, I don’t think anybody believes Big E isn’t already capable of winning in different environments. If anything, it just kind of proves Miz’s point from Talking Smack & we don’t need to get into THAT whole issue again.
Speaking of Miz…
Miz Sues His Pants Off
Good Guy Miz at it again looking to help everybody else on the roster. He didn’t get Mandy traded to RAW to be mean! He did it for Otis! Now he can focus on… cashing in on Roman Reigns? Oof. Maybe not your best plan, Mike. Naturally, the babyfaces show up & beat him up about it & also *looks closer* strip him down to his underwear? Umm… okay? This results in a “funny” backstage segment where Miz runs around embarrassed he’s in his underwear, even though he’s been on television in that exact same outfit for the past fifteen years. Us Miz & Mrs. fans also know that Mike would not be caught dead in tighty whiteys. Marjo would shame him into dust.
WWE humor aside, we’re then treated to more head scratching story beats when Miz decides that he is now suing Otis for the Money In The Bank contract. Failure for Otis to comply will result in Miz taking Otis to court, where I assume Miz can win some of that sweet, sweet lunchbox money that I’m sure Heavy Machinery is raking in. I got to say though, Miz’s ability to fast forward through the legal system is nothing short of impressive. He was able to get a summons after a phone call, get it served less than an hour later, AND give it a deadline of a week for compliance. Miz for new Supreme Court Justice! (RIP RBG).
All of this stuff is just so convoluted. Just get to the match where they fight for the contract & let’s be done with it already. Or have Otis pass the Bar Exam in a week’s time in order to fight the case. Timelines be damned. Who cares at this point. Whatever gets us to these guys not interacting with each other anymore.
A Bro For All Seasons
That’s Smackdown, gang. A little rough in the beginning but it eventually found its footing on the back half. Clash Of Champions is setting up nicely for The Blue Side with that ladder match looking to be the potential star of the show. We’ll see as we still have next week’s go home show to hopefully send us in on a high note. Let us know what you thought of the show tonight in the comment section or over on our Discord! We appreciate you guys showing up like you have this early on. See you next time as I will be screaming “Fiend!!” at the top of my lungs any time something bad happens on screen in hopes The Blissternator shows up & rectifies the situation.
