IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! What a great time to be alive! It’s Dynamite Wednesday! I’ve been looking forward to this episode all week. Christian Cage vs Powerhouse Hobbs, Shida vs Conti and it leaked somewhere that Mox & Kingston were returning. WHAT DID I DO TO DESERVE THIS!?? For all our TNT folks, last week’s episode of Dynamite got the ball rolling for this week. For you YouTube types, Elevation and Dark were amazing again this week (starring -1!), which kept the aforementioned ball rolling right into tonight and everything that we got. For fans of both, you are the real winners here! Shut up, Blade, let’s get to it!
POP: Wrestling is the Best, Wrestling #1
After being thrown off last week when Dynamite started with a backstage promo/video recap last week, I was pleased to see the return of wrestling kicking off the wrestling show. Not only that, it’s a first-ever! Hangman Adam Page and Absolute Ricky Starks meeting for the first time ever and don’t forget, Page is the #1 ranked wrestler in AEW! What an opportunity for Starks to prove to everyone why he is absolutely Absolute! Lucky for us, their first ever match was a great table setter for the episode. They started out with some chain wrestling before going face to face, literally mushing their faces against each other. After a fallaway slam (according to AEW, to me it was an exploder suplex) off the top rope, Page hits a Lariat minus the Buckshot and kills Starks. He hits the apron to add the Buckshot but misses and gets hit with an absolutely beautiful spear! Somehow that only got a two. After a couple of counters, Page rolls him over and Starks taps out!
Taz gets on the mic and tells Page that he got lucky. He also tells him to watch his back. Page, being the dummy that Taz says he is, doesn’t even look behind him when Taz tells him to watch his back. Hook hits him with the chop block and starts stomping a mudhole in him. Brian Cage comes out and sets Page up for a powerbomb but Team Taz is chased off by the Dark Order. I really enjoyed this kickoff match. I was a little concerned Starks broke his neck but he’s a DDPYoga guy so it didn’t affect him nearly as bad as it would have one of us! Brian Cage counting Dark Order members makes me think we’re heading toward a Team Taz/Dark Order Blood & Guts match! Just kidding but I mean, it’ll already be set up soon….
POP: Death Hypotenuse
Up next, we get the revived feud between Death Triangle and Best Friends via a one-on-one match between Penta el Zero Mieda and Trent, who is accompanied by Orange Cassidy. Before we can even get to the first commercial break, Trent flies over the top and smashes into Penta. After playing a little grab-ass, my favorite move (and yours) makes an appearance as Penta takes the upper hand. I don’t know what it is about the Canadian Destroyer that I love so much but it’s just SO BEAUTIFUL…even if this one was a little sideways. Alex Abrahantes grabs a microphone just to be a dick. He tells Trent that he sucks, his friends suck and most of all, his mama sucks. What did Sue do to deserve any of this, you bastard? This sets up the finish where Orange Cassidy (almost) gets involved and Alex hits Trent with the dreaded microphone to lead Penta to victory.
I gave this a Pop because of the finish. It was corny as hell and I loved it. What’s wrestling without something being corny as hell. Again, I don’t condone being mean to elderly females and the amount they suck compared to their son but it set up a small OC appearance, which I appreciate. I also really need to know if Cassidy loses any of his pulp when he gets kicked that hard in the face.
We get a little JR interview with The Pinnacle. It’s most notable for Tully Blanchard giving MJF a gift, which is a new scarf! Don’t get it twisted, it looks the same but this one is made of silk instead of burberry! This promo also gave Wardlow 30 seconds to talk, which is refreshing as he hasn’t said much….well, ever. Plus, Spears didn’t say a single word and just kind of sat in the back corner so we all win again!
POP: Great Expectations
A few minutes before 7:00 PM, I received a text message from my best friend, Justin. It simply read, “The women’s championship match on AEW tonight was pretty legit.” He’s in a different time zone so he was able to get eyes on the match before me. I was already hype to watch this match so receiving that text just set the bar for Tay and Hikaru much higher than it had already been. Obviously, they could feel it because they absolutely DELIVERED.
The match was preceded by this hype video, which is pretty good. Two fan favorites, wrestling for a championship that means something to them for different reasons. I dig it. I’m not the biggest fan of Tay trying to knock every tooth out of Shida’s mouth but let’s be honest, it was pretty sick! When she hit the top-rope senton on Shida, I really thought it was over. And by top-rope, I mean she executed it while Shida was on the top-rope! Innovative offense is the best. I’d seen moves in this match I’d never seen before. To be fair, I didn’t see a Canadian Destroyer but after that Penta/Trent match, Canada had had enough! Conti hit the TayKO but Shida kicked out so she went for the hammerlock DDTay but Shida reversed it, took control and slapped the soul right out of Conti. She hit a backbreaker and thenmthe Kitana and retained the women’s championship!
This match was everything I’d hoped for. They absolutely brought it and had a great match. It also served its purpose of closing this “feud” and knocking Conti out of the #1 contender spot. Say goodbye to that spot, Tay! How do I know this? Well, Dr. Britt Baker (DMD!) came out and the Dynatron graphic updated the rankings to show Baker #1 now! Shida doesn’t give a shid and throws her kendo stick at Baker. This is going to be a fun feud and I’m genuinely curious to see if they pull the trigger on Baker and give her a run with the strap.
While Tony set up shop in the ring for his interview with The Inner Circle, we get this little Miro vignette, which was….amazing. Don Callis as slimy Impact mouth? Sting as an emo-face paint daddy? Holy shit, Miro. Don’t kill everyone in one promo! But seriously, go take every title. EVERY DAMN ONE OF ‘EM!
Tony introduces The Inner Circle and yes, they are still in black. They are really leaning hard into this Back in Black thing but again, I love the aesthetic so I’m all about it. I’m a little dismayed they don’t have ancillary member Mike Tyson with them. Hey Siri, insert sad face, extreme sobbing emoji. The Inner Circle are out to rebut MJF and The Pinnacle’s comments from their interview with JR earlier. Sidebar, I don’t really dig Judas on my Mind when I queue it up on the ol’ Apple Music but as a wrestling entrance song, it’s great. The Inner Circle Squad loves it and Jericho loves it when they scream-sing it. It’s fantastic.
Spekaing of fantastic, Jericho making fun of Wardlow’s manicured eyebrows was something I never knew I needed. Also, Ortiz might be my favorite member of the Inner Circle. He’s got great hair and crazy eyes. My dude. Jericho gives us a stirring rendition of a show tune he wrote about his jerkoff friend, MJF. He warns The Pinnacle that it’s going to be a lesson in violence that they never forget. He challenges them to an old-fashioned parley face to face next week. What the hell is a parlay, you say? According to Y2J, it’s where two opponents meet to discuss their battle plans. Jericho then goes all agro-dad about Blood & Guts and The Pinnacle might die, you guys.
BOTCH: Oh You Didn’t Know? Your Ass Should Have Called Somebody
We have a grudge match between The Factory and The Nightmare Family! Head of The Factory, QT Marshall, squares off against Nightmare Factory member, Billy Gunn. Wait, Billy Gunn? The One Billy Gunn? Did Cody Rhodes really teach him how to wrestle? I was shocked to see the graphic that says Billy Gunn is 9-0 this year and has won his last 17 matches. But seriously, he’s the best representative the Nightmare Factory could send out against QT?
Nick Comoroto does exactly what we all wanted, he throws Gunn into the SteelRingPost. Unfortunately, he and Aaron Solow get jumped by Billy’s Baby Boys, Austin and Colton. I do appreciate the nostalgic “Suck It” that Billy gave to QT though. Anthony Ogogo comes out and punches Billy in the kidney. QT hits the Diamond Cutter and that’s all she wrote. After the match, Ogogo grabs a wood chair and QT lines up Gunn. Before he can bang his wood into The Ass Man, Dustin Rhodes comes out with a bullwhip and gets the upper hand. QT bails and Dustin smashes the chair over Comoroto’s face. The referees see that Comoroto wasn’t affected (at all) so they come out to stop Dustin from dying at the hands of an unhinged psychopath. When in Rome, I guess.
We come back from break to The Elite sitting in an RV. Kenny is sitting next to the tag straps but I don’t see his World Heavyweight Championship anywhere. They briefly talk about how The Elite created All ELITE Wrestling (valid point) and then gives us a little bit of Three’s Company to tell Mox and Kingston to come and knock on their door. We hear a horn start honking and we cut to Mox and Kingston in a pickup truck. Mox drives the truck right into the Elite’s trailer at Daily’s Place. Kingston jumps out and asks if Mox has the pipe. He does. Mox busts out the window and they storm inside but…it’s empty. Did the trailers use twin magic? They head back to the truck and Mox picks up the pipe and throws it through the rest of the window (almost hitting Eddie) to which Kingston replies, “you wanna wait til I’m out the way?” These guys are gold. TONY KHAN, YOU KNOW WHAT I WANT AND I WANT IT NOW!
BOTCH: Power Housed
Can Team Taz suck any more? Maybe Taz should start managing and not announcing when his guys are wrestling? After Starks already lost, Hobbs comes out alone (at least Starks had Hook!) to fight Christian Cage. I guess when your partner is Brian Cage and you’re fighting Christian Cage, you really get kind of lost in the shuffle. Perhaps Will should change his name to Powerhouse Hobbs Cage? Cage (Christian) hits a three-star frog splash but could only get a two count. After Hobbs beats him for awhile, Christian finds the killswitch, flips it and gets the dub.
This match literally did nothing for me. I watched it. It was a thing that happened. I wrote about it. I moved on. Here’s me moving on.
Well, we moved onto….this. Cargill says she’s her own boss then says if someone else wants to be her boss, they better make her a deal. Jade, you won’t be your own boss anymore!
POP: Hold onto your Butts
It’s no secret how big a fan I am of Darby Allin. So when I get to see him having a TNT Championship match, you better believe, I am ready! Answering the call this week is Beverly Hills’ favorite son, Jungle Boy Jack Perry. Darby’s emo face paint daddy, Sting comes out with him. There’s a stark contrast in how Tony Schiavone announces Sting’s name and how Justin Roberts does. For those confused at home, no, Justin Roberts is not the previously mentioned best friend Justin.
This match was hard-hitting. The announce team touched on the dichotomy of the two a little bit. Darby is used to fighting dudes much bigger than him and being the underdog. Tonight, he’s the….overdog, I think? Anyway, it’s a nice transition to see him fight against someone his own size. To nobody’s surprise, these two had a fast-paced intense match. It even prompted a slobberknocker call from JR! The biggest benefactor of this match was definitely Jungle Boy. He was able to show off his extensive moveset, especially in singles competition. At one point, he hit three diving attacks onto Darby on the outside. Might have killed his stamina but damnit, it was fun to watch!
Emo face paint daddy confronts dino face paint daddy on the ramp and they wrestle to the back, thus eliminating both of them from factoring into this match. Darby hit a Coffin Drop in the middle of the match. The only reason it didn’t end the match was because he hit it on the hardest part of the ring, the apron! Jungle Boy tried to tap out Darby but Darby cinched in the Last Supper and Jungle Boy tapped! I told you his stamina was affected! While Jungle Boy and Darby started respectfully into each other’s eyes, they get attacked by Scorpio Sky and Ethan Page. Page hits the Ego’s Edge on Darby and that prompts the Murderhawk Monster, Lance Archer to run out! They dick kick him so Sting walks back out with his bat to felony menace Sky and Page. Ladies and gentlemen, this story is just getting started! Also, special shoutout to Jake Roberts’ facial expressions and AEW pantsuit, as seen at the beginning of this video. I don’t know if he’s slowly morphing into my grandpa or into Hugh Hefner but I’m good with either one!
This was a fight. I loved this match. Two great title matches tonight. It was great being able to see Darby transition into a fight against someone smaller as opposed to having to just fly around and bump for the big fellas. As I said earlier, Jungle Boy got to showcase his repertoire of moves and he looked like a million bucks. I echo Sting’s sentiment, I’ve also seen a lot of years of wrestling and I don’t remember at any point and time, a show that is consistently having good to great matches while utilizing effective storytelling. If this forces the hands of other promotions and we just get this wild war of great wrestling, I’m going to happily blame AEW.
Anyway, that’s it for me today! Enjoy your week everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. Wrestling united!
