IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! I hope you had a great week! When I last saw you, Tony Khan let Adam Cole make an announcement regarding a joint pay-per-view event with New Japan Pro Wrestling! Also, the Pittsburgh Steelers showed up to support Dr. Britt Baker (D.M.D.) in her squash match against Danielle Kamela (who should really tweak the first name to be Daniella) and CM Punk went toe-to-toe with Dustin Rhodes to open the show. To close it out, Darby Allin tried to murder Andrade el Idolo in a Coffin Match and now we’re firmly on the road to Double or Nothing…I think. Hey, while you’re here…Whatever happened to Lodi?
-
POP: Hartfelt Congratulations
I’m so used to CM Punk opening the show that I wasn’t surprised when his music hit to kick off Dynamite. Meanwhile, the announce team was letting us know that they’d have a new partner to call the action of the first match. CM Punk came out and…he was in jeans. Although he’s not wrestling, he’s still opening the show so I’m going to count it! On the other hand, HOW AWESOME IS A MATCH BETWEEN THESE LIVING LEGENDS, KNOWN AS FTR?! And they’re in trunks with the modified Owen logo. Perfect. Sorry, I got a little carried away there. The two of these dudes have never fought each other so I can’t imagine how cool it is for them to do it with the right to join the Owen Hart Foundation Men’s Tournament! Even better, they came out to their tag team entrance, which I’ve never seen before and I love it!
In a surprise to literally nobody, Dax and Cash start the match out with perfect chain wrestling. All throughout the match, they went back and forth. It was a mat wrestling clinic. One might even say, “no flips, just fists.” I approve. After putting on an absolute classic match, Dax goes for a Sharpshooter but Cash (unfortunately) blocks it. Cash tries a flash roll-up but Dax reverses it into a roll-up of his own to get the W! Dax is going to the tournament!
POP: Break Cheekbones, Child!
Oh man, we get another brilliant guest play-by-play guy, this time in the form of William Regal. I could see him and Punk being voice of a generation like Bobby Heenan and Gorilla Monsoon were for me or Jim Ross and Jerry Lawler were for most of you. He’s on the stick, of course, for his boys, the Blackpool Combat Club. He takes that time to really press hard on what he’s looking for out of his squad, Wheeler Yuta specifically.
Also, the crowd is HOT for Yuta, the hometown kid. Fittingly, he gets most of the rub in this match, including the final pinfall on Nick Comoroto. Aaron Solow and QT Marshall tried to get involved while Yuta was ground and pounding the big man, but they were intercepted by Jon Moxley and Daniel Bryanson. Once everyone was accounted for, Yuta locked in the seatbelt on Comoroto to get the win and keep the Blackpool Combat Club undefeated in Trios competition!
POP: A New Hoss Fight
In MJF’s never-ending quest to demolish Wardlow before they go one-on-one, he has paid Jake “the Snake” Roberts to send out The Murderhawk Monster, Lance Archer. After Archer and Roberts come to the ring, Wardlow is again walked to the ring in handcuffs by MJF’s hired security detail. This whole storyline has bored me ever since it started and has gone on way too long; however, I’m a big Lance Archer fan so I’m actually looking forward to this one!
Naturally, Archer starts off the match with a flying senton onto Wardlow and the security detail right as they take the handcuffs off. These two dudes shouldn’t be this athletic for their size. They continuously throw each other (and themselves around). Archer wasn’t able to get the win with the Chokeslam, so he hits the Blackout from the top rope on Wardlow. His lackadaisical pin almost costs him the match as Wardlow rolls him up for two. So close! Wardlow is able to finish off The Murderhawk Monster with a Powerbomb Symphony and MJF has GOT to be nervous now!
POP: Phight Phemales, Phight!
I am absolutely okay with Hikaru Shida and Serena Deeb battling one more time since it’s in a Philly Street Fight! We all know Serena can get mean; hell, we’ve seen it for months now. I am interested, however, to see if Shida can stop being the smiley, lovable muse to Serena’s angry, ruthless bitch. There are no count-outs, no disqualifications, and it’s a blood feud. What more can you want from these two!?
Hikaru answers my question early and often. She absolutely goes to a darker place to battle with Deeb. Even after Serena blinded her with white powder, Shida didn’t let it affect her willingness to bludgeon Serena with kendo sticks and knees to her face. Shida almost ends it with a beautiful Avalanche Falcon Arrow but Deeb would kick out, keeping this match alive! A few minutes later, she locked in the Texas Cloverleaf on Shida and Hikaru taps out!
BOTCH: Chaos Personified
Well, Dante Martin, Lee Johnson, Brock Anderson and the Varsity Blonds get the jobber treatment so I guess that tells us how this match is going to go. I know they announced this one last week but it still hurts me greatly that Uncle Tony didn’t heed my advice and let Kyle O’Reilly be an individual performer. He’s not only in a tag match with Bobby Fish this week, but he’s got THREE other partners! Add ’em to the list!
Team Jobber never stood a chance. They were able to shine early with Dante Martin flying around and they all posed together but it was all for naught. I doubt there’s any surprise there either. After dispatching Big Shoddy with a four-way BTE Trigger (followed by the Boom knee from Adam Cole), Cole handed out Undisputed Elite shirts and no, I don’t want one.
POP: The Face that Runs Daily’s Place
For weeks, Scorpio Sky (personally, and by way of Dan Lambert) has been talking a lot of shit to TNT Champion Sammy Guevara and his girlfriend, Tay Conti. It all culminates tonight with a ladder match for Sammy’s Championship. Scorpio wastes no time, though, as he meets Sammy in the aisle and they exchange blows to kick us off. Luckily, Sammy had relinquished his title pre-match, otherwise, it never would’ve been hung above the ring.
This match was wild. At one point, Sammy couldn’t reach the title, so he jumped off and completely missed Scorpio. He landed ridiculously hard. He is made out of rubber, though, so he bounced back no problem. Sky brought in a ladder with barbed wire and Sammy had enough wherewithal to hit a standing Spanish Fly on Scorpio onto the ladder. Insane! Even Lambert got his comeuppance as Conti dick kicked him out of the ring when he tried to interfere.
This brought out Paige VanZant and she attacked Conti. A few minutes later, the girls jumped on the guys’ backs to keep them from going up the ladder. Once the ladies were dispatched, Sky pushed Guevara off the ladder and onto the barbed wire ladder that was propped against the ropes! Holy shit! How does Sammy do it?!? Seconds later, as Sky climbed toward the title, Sammy springboards onto the ladder from the outside to stop him. Sky pushes him off again and grabs the TNT Title!!! We have a new champion!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
