IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! What a show on Sunday at Revolution! If you’re able to catch a replay, please do! My goodness, what a show! Sting dove from the rafters through three tables (and Andrade!) for fuck’s sake! You want to watch it, so do it! Where do we go from here? Now that Jon Moxley and Bryan Danielson have joined forces under the tutelage of their Dungeon Daddy, where do they start? Who’s next for Hangman Adam Page (no, not Goldberg!)? Also, where is the Murderhawk Monster hiding out at? Lastly, whatever happened to The Barbarian?
BOTCH: This is Where We’re Going?
Chris Jericho comes out to make amends with Eddie Kingston after their fight the other night. I’m not really sure why this is what I had in mind when the segment started. After Jericho shakes Eddie’s hand, everything is good. And then….and then, 2.0 and Daniel Garcia come out to attack the two. Naturally, Pride & Powerful come out to run them off. Jericho gets the bat and smashes Santana in the face then Ortiz! The hyenas jump back in and continue the assault on Kingston and Pride & Powerful. Hager comes out and instead of going after Jericho, he joins in! After Hager powerbombs Kingston through a table (after barely being able to lift him), Jericho introduces us to his new faction, the *checks notes* Jericho Appreciation Society. What the fuck.
POP: AEW Heavyweight Championship Open Challenge
Well, this show started out shitty. I hope that Hangman Adam Page defending his title against Dante Martin can turn this train around before it wrecks completely. Hangman is still wearing his gay-streamer outfit because Fuck Florida. Yeah, I said it. Sorry, not sorry. Martin starts out with his normal flipping-to-get-approval moveset. Page obliges, of course because, as usual, Martin telegraphs his maneuver and jumps high enough for Page to snatch him out of the air for a Death Valley Driver!
Speaking of flipping and telegraphing moves to his own detriment, the finish would be the exact same thing, only different. After Page missed a Buckshot Lariat moments earlier, he doesn’t miss on the second try. Page retains his championship as Tony Schiavone gets in the ring for an interview. Page calls Martin back to show him some respect, but Adam Cole (baybay!) comes out to confront Page….safely…from the top of the ramp. He graciously offers Page the chance to find two friends to face him and his two “young” friends (that know Page better than anyone) in a six-man tag next week on Dynamite!
POP: Double Debut
Jon Moxley and Bryan Danielson (with Dungeon Daddy William Regal!!) come out for their tag-team debut against another couple of dudes making their tag-team debut, The Workhorsemen, JD Drake and Anthony Henry. It goes about as well as you’d think it would. Moxley assaults the two jobbers and Daniel Bryanson just kicks the shit out of them whenever he possibly can.
The Dungeon Masters make short work of Drake and Henry but most importantly, and I mean MOST IMPORTANTLY, we get to see the stomps before Danielson taps Drake out! Dungeon Daddy gets in the ring and grabs a microphone. Pure gold ensues. Regal lays down the law on AEW and drops a truth-bomb…that Bryan Danielson is the perfect wrestler. No shit, Bill. He also calls Jon Moxley sadistic and informs us that Mox can take things to a different level. He puts AEW on notice that everyone better step up or get stepped on. I’m already in love with this story.
BOTCH: Throwaway Match. No Seriously, Just Throw It Away
I’m so confused about the company that Wheeler Yuta keeps. A one-armed Orange Cassidy, two dudes who are best friends with each other and not him, some alien chick, and the unexplainable Danhausen. Seriously, how do you explain that guy to your friends? A very nice, very evil guy? Yeah, probably. Just don’t let him catch you in a curse, because otherwise, you’re fucked. He comes out first but not to be outdone, Pac brings his buddies, Penta Oscuro and Alex Abrahantes, who are definitely not his best friends, nor as crazy as Yuta’s contingent. Pac makes quick work of the Yuta guy and welp, that’s that.
BOTCH: 90 Days Must Be Up
Look. I was smack dab in the middle of the Attitude Era. I love the Hardy Boyz just as much as the next guy. Hell, I’ve been in the ring with them! But it’s been about 15 years since I have been excited for a Jeff Hardy …. anything. I liked the segment of kicking Matt out of the Andrade Hardy Family Office. A little too close to the Randy Orton/Triple H/Batista Monday Night Raw segment but hey, that’s about the last time I was excited for Jeff Hardy stuff! Time is a flat circle. I will admit, the crowd pop and the look on Jeff’s face got me. Fuck it, I change my mind —
POP: MEA CULPA
POP: Save me Max Caster
After that quick double-POP, we get a Max Caster Special!
“Yo. Listen. Listen. Yo. Yo. Yo.
The fans want Acclaimed in this title match.
They want to see y’all go down like the price of gas.
Luchasaurus, baby, puts me to sleep
Christian’s the only one who ever brings heat.
And Jungle Boy’s never seen a pair of boobs
All that hair on your head and you can’t grow pubes.
The Acclaimed beat you up and never stopped talkin’
Number one like Batman at the box office.”
One day, The Acclaimed is either going to dominate the tag division, which is incredibly strong. Or Anthony Bowens is going to HBK Max Caster and throw him through something. Do we have any barbers on the roster right now? Either way, I don’t think it’s any secret, but Luchasaurus and Jungle Boy are the perfect team in terms of complementing what each other does. Luchasaurus sets up The Acclaimed with his strength and Jungle Boy takes them out with his speed and high-flying abilities. He is a boy from the jungle, after all.
I’ll be honest, when I saw The Acclaimed hit the Mic Drop and couldn’t see Luchasaurus, I thought there might be an upset title change tonight. It was all for naught; however, as the Doomsday Device clinched the win and Jurassic Express retains their title! Speaking of how they mesh so well together, their Doomsday Device is an unexpected finisher after seeing the Road Warrior Legion of Doom use it for so many years. Two yoked dudes made it famous and now these two dinosaurs are bringing it back. Sweet.
POP: Thunder and Legitning
Yeah, that headline took me a couple tries to make sure I had it right. And I’m the one that typed it! Leyla Hirsch and Thunder Rosa are out here for an Eliminator match to see who goes on to face Dr. Britt Baker next week at Dynamite. Normally, I’d root for Rosa but after they shat the bed on Sunday, I’m wary to cheer for another match. But I don’t see Leyla being put there. They both seem ready though, what with all this chain wrestling business.
Even though Leyla made what I assumed was going to be a fatal mistake by turning her attention away from Rosa to showboat, she was miraculously able to get back into the match. I thought Rosa was going to win it when Hirsch tried to find a turnbuckle hook like she did on Sunday. Red Velvet threw her back into the ring but Hirsch was able to get an armbar on and almost tap Rosa out. I say almost because once Thunder was able to escape, she trapped Leyla and ends it with the Fire Thunder (Rosa) Driver! Next week, she gets her rematch and in her hometown of San Antonio, Texas, no less! Well, hopefully whatever injury was plaguing her on Sunday is healed, because after the match Tony notified Thunder Rosa that she will be facing Dr. Britt Baker in a steel cage match!
POP: 2 Gold Scorpio
Main event time! Scorpio Sky is out with Dan Lambert and All Ego Ethan Page for Sky’s TNT Championship match against your Spanish God, Sammy Guevara. The action comes out fast and furious and early in the match, as Scorpio moves off a table and Sammy misses his 630 splash from the turnbuckle to the outside. Tay Conti runs down to lay over Sammy and protect him. Doc Samson and Tay medically tend to Sammy, who is pointing at the left side of his ribcage. They walk him halfway out and Sammy fights them off to get back in the ring.
Sky instantly targets Sammy ribs. Ring veteran, y’all. He throws knees at Sammy’s body and then hits a couple of back breakers. Tay is apparently out here to argue with Paige VanZant, which as an MMA fan, this is not a good idea. Sammy is able to get back in the ring and hits his springboard stunner. He “hits” the GTH but eats knees on a shooting star press attempt.
Dapper Dan Lambert distracts the ref so Page can interfere but Tay pulls him off the apron. VanZant attacks her and throws her into the steel steps, drawing Sammy’s interest. This allows Scorpio Sky to hit the TKO and become the new TNT Champion! Scorpy Two Belts! After the match, Paige knocks Tay out with a kick and then signs her AEW contract on Tay’s ass! VanZant is All Elite! Honestly, she’s been around so long, I thought she’d already signed. American Top Team continues their slow-burn AEW Invasion!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
