IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! I hope you had a great time since we hung out after last week’s episode! Bryan Danielson took Daniel Garcia to the proverbial woodshed, hopefully teasing us about what a potential partnership with Jon Moxley could look like. We were also lucky to see the continued tension between reDRagon and the Young Bucks. That poor Adam Cole is like a kid torn between his mom and dad after an acrimonius divorce. Furthermore, Buddy Matthews may or may not have joined the House of Black but regardless, he’s back and lookin’ jacked, Jack! Lastly, I begged you all for money like a common street urchin and I don’t regret it. haha. Whatever happened to Carl Oullet?
POP: Ring of Honor
Wow! We start off the show with Uncle Tony and Uncle Tony in the ring! The rare Tony Khan with a mic sighting! I’m ready to hear it. Tell me, Tony! He bought Ring of Honor! Holy cow! What a major announcement for wrestling in America. In ahem… honor of the first ROH main event TWENTY years ago, our leadoff match for Dynamite is The Fallen Angel Christopher Daniels against Bryan Danielson. They actually shake hands without Bryan Danielson being an asshole. What respect!
As one would expect, these two wisened old veterans go all out in this special, special match. I mean, seriously. How cool is it that they are fighting again over 20 years later to highlight the Ring of Honor life. Anyone familiar with either of these men, ROH or even wrestling in general probably knows how much Ring of Honor means to both men in their careers. Of course they would start the match with a little bit of the chain wrestling. I love this already.
Christopher Daniels looks like a million bucks tonight. Breaking out a springboard moonsault to the outside can’t feel good on a 51 year old body! He gave it everything he could but it just wasn’t enough to beat the best wrestler in the world. Danielson catches him in a triangle sleeper (without the chest/head stomps sadly) and puts him to sleep. Night night Fallen Angel. Oh my gosh! Danielson explains the Ring of Honor ritual of shaking hands before and after a match out of respect and then shakes Daniels’ hand….except he says he’s not in ROH anymore and gives him the stomps! Yes! Yes! Yes! Danielson calls out Moxley and he happily obliges. Mox lets Danielson know, in no uncertain terms, that on Sunday, they are going to beat the hell out of each other. I’m ready.
POP: Tag Team Turmoil
We are jumping right into a Tag-Team Casino Battle Royale, which two teams start and then a new team shows up every 90 seconds. Leading us off are FTR and, wait, what?!? Top Flight! Darius Martin is back! Dante doesn’t have to team up with every rando outside of catering anymore. Though I do miss Lio Rush. I’m going to go be sad in the corner for a minute. I’ll be right back, you guys. Okay, I’m back. Both teams go at it and Darius looks like he hasn’t missed a beat. The countdown ends and it’s The Acclaimed! Max Caster time!
Yo. Listen. Listen. Yo. Yo.
Acclaimed in this match
To me that’s just dumb
We’ve been the top-ranked
Tag team for a month!
And FTR you ain’t safe
I’m a send your asses to ROH!
Top Flight can’t be victorious
Y’all are tweaking like the kids on Euphoria.
We the reason for the people in the seats.
Y’all are less popular than Glenn Jacob’s tweets!
Ha! Good one, Max! By the time they actually make it to the ring, the countdown goes off for the next team, which is Dark Order members, Pres10 Vance and Alan V Angels. The ol’ five and dime. I’m a little disappointed they didn’t cut a rap but what can ya do? Beggars and choosers or whatever. The ring is filling up fast so let’s add a couple more. Butcher and The Blade hit the ring and we have a full-scale donnybrook. FTR throws Angels over the rope and onto the ramp back-first. Our first elimination and we get a new team!
The Varsity Blondes show up, full of fire and luscious hair! We cut to commercial but during the picture-in-picture I see the two big behemoths of Bear Country come out and they are the Big Show and Andre the Giant in this match apparently. So they have no shot at winning, I guess. The commercial ends and Pride & Powerful come down to a raucous ovation. They immediately throw both members of Bear Country out! I hate to say I told ya so but….I most definitely told you so!
Top Flight eliminates Max Caster and JR gives the best line of the night, “listen…listen. You’re eliminated.” Gold! Trent and Chucky T come out next! Griff Garrison just gets tossed out by Anthony Bowens, who is proving himself to the be the better wrestler in The Acclaimed. Evil Uno and Stu Grayson come out next, which means we have two Dark Order teams. Vance kicks The Blade out of the match and the Dark Order gang up on the Butcher and throw him over also! The countdown hits and we have our next participants!
The Bucks of Youth come out with Brandon Cutler. They get in the ring and are face to face with FTR immediately. Before they can fight, everyone jumps both teams and we go to commercial. Before the commercial ends, The Wingmen enter, in the form of Zolph Diggler and Pretty Peter Avalon. As we cut from the break, the Gunn Club come out and the ring is chock full of dudes. Austin eats a Big Rig from FTR and they throw him out at the exact same time the Bucks throw out Colten. Welp, that didn’t last long.
Brock Anderson and Lee Johnson are out next and they definitely have an advantage being so rested. Brock hits a giant spinebuster on Anthony Bowens. It’s a really good spinebuster. Reminds me of someone else. Just can’t place it. Bowens recovers and tosses out Pres10 Vance and then Ortiz immediately chucks Chuck over. Bowens then throws out Grayson and I can’t imagine the Dark Order is going to look back on this and appreciate what Bowens is doing to their team. 2.0 enters as our last team and now it’s go time!
The Young Bucks double-clothesline Brock over and then Dax tosses Shoddy Lee out. Eliminations are happening quick. Darius Martin knocks Bowens out and then gives him the Acclaimed hand sign. Evil Uno and Trent fight to the apron. Danhausen appears and gives Uno a curse, which allows Trent to suplex him out! Pride & Powerful eliminate 2.0 but they reach up and eliminate Pride & Powerful. Matt Jackson eliminates Trent, leaving us with FTR, Young Bucks and Top Flight!
These three immediately go ham on each other. Cash gets Dante up for a powerbomb and Dante hurricanranas him over the top but Dante also goes over, getting eliminated! Dax is tossed onto the apron by Matt Jackson. reDRagon comes out and distracts him just in time for the Young Bucks to superkick his ass out. We are down to Darius Martin vs. The Young Bucks! Nick goes for a springboard but Darius pushes Matt into him and eliminates Nick! Matt and Darius fight to the apron and Matt hits the dick kick and then kicks Darius in the face to win the match! Sunday will be reDRagon, Young Bucks and Jurassic Express in a thatal threeway!
POP: Oh, This Shit’s Good
CM Punk comes out and questions if he’s the bad guy. No, not that one. Punk waxes poetic for a bit and calls out MJF even though he’s afraid MJF’s good guy schtick last week was just him gaslighting Punk. (Stay tuned for the reveal of whether Punk was being gaslit). MJF comes out very morose and seemingly forgives Punk. They embrace in the middle of the ring for a solid 15 seconds. In a shocking twist of events, MJF kicks CM Punk in the dick and demolishes him, busting him up in the process. FTR, Wardlow and Shawn Spears all come out to run interference and they hook a dog collar to Punk to hang him over the top rope. Before Sting, Darby Allin and Sammy Guevara run off The Pinnacle, here are MJF’s parting words for Punk. Sunday is going to be a bloodbath. Holy shit.
POP: Pay Per View Preview
Dr. Britt Baker (D.M.D.) and Jaime Hayter come out next for their tag team match between Mercedes Martinez and Thunder Rosa. Los Latinas get the upper-hand early on Britt but she’s the AEW Women’s World Champion for a reason. She hits a slingblade to get the momentum back on her and Hayter’s side. Mercedes takes the brunt of the punishment in this match for her team. She’s finally able to tag in Thunder Rosa and she immediately flips the double bird in Baker’s face and they throw hands at each other about it.
Martinez and Thunder are your winners after Martinez flies off the apron and hits a Senton on both Rebel and Hayter at ringside. Rosa crushes Britt with the Death Valley Driver and pins the champ four days before their championship match at Revolution! Uhh…who wants to tell Thunder Rosa that winning a tag match against the champion almost virtually guarantees that she will lose on Sunday. Let’s break the curse, Thunder!
BOTCH: For Fuck’s Sake
I don’t want to do this anymore. *Deep Breath* Cezar Bononi’s out for his match against Wardlow, which means he’ll get minimal offense in, eat a Powerbomb Symphony and get pinned. Bononi starts off by giving Wardy a knee and a club to the back. He goes for a backdrop and Wardlow gives him a powerbomb symphony. Again, I told you so. Spears brings a chair into the wring and when he goes to hit it, Wardlow grabs the chair and they go face to face. Spears cowers like the beta he is and leaves the ring. I’m so glad that’s over but I think Wardlow could actually win the ladder match this Sunday. Interesting.
POP: Trio Trouble
Adam Cole (baybay!) comes out with reDRagon for their trios match against AEW World Champion Adam Page and his Dark Order dudes, John Silver and Alex Reynolds. The Adams tease starting the match off together but Cole tags out immediately and Page starts off against Bobby Fish. He tries to get an early pinfall after beating up reDRagon when Kyle O’Reilly gets tagged in. Johnny Hungee gets the tag and we get some back and forth action between both teams before Page ends up back in the match.
As soon as reDRagon gets control of the Hangman, Adam Cole finally wants in. He goes for a Deadeye right off the bat but Page is able to avoid it. Both teams are giving everything they have but after Page and Cole go face to face and exchange blows, bedlam ensues. All six men start brawling. Cole and Reynolds end up in the ring together and it doesn’t take long for Reynolds to feel the Boom and Cole to get the victory. Apparently, he didn’t read my recap of the ladies’ tag match before he came out to the ring. Tsk, tsk.
After the match, Cole and his cronies get the jump on the Dark Order and Hangman Page when he tries to help. They duct tape Page to the ropes and it looks like he’s been on Undertaker’s cross a time or two. Cole drapes the AEW belt over Page’s shoulder and lets him know he’s coming for the title. I have to admit Revolution should be an absolute banger. It’s one hell of a card they’ve lined up but most importantly, their stories have been impeccable. See ya Sunday, misfits!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
