IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! How about that Lights Out match last week, huh? Adam Cole and Orange Cassidy absolutely went after each other and it was fantastic. And did my eyes deceive me or was there a very evil man lurking under the ring for some reason? Also on the show last week, the Inner Circle froze out Jericho and Wardlow did…well, Wardlow things. What kind of mayhem shall we expect tonight? Let’s get after it and answer that exact question, shall we? But first, what ever happened to Little Guido?
POP: Very Evil, Very Nice
Wild Thing hits and if you were expecting Mitch Williams or Ricky Vaughn to come out and kick off the show, you are sorely mistaken. It’s Jon Moxley! Coming out next is Wheeler Yuta who is joined by Orange Cassidy, per usual, as well as…Danhausen?!? This guy is everywhere. Apparently, he put a curse on Adam Cole last week and this week he joins Yuta and Cassidy. Is he a Best Friend or merely a member of Chaos? Is he both or neither? Someone tell me what is going on!?!
Yuta attempts to get the upper-hand right at the bell but Mox easily sidesteps him. Yuta actually gets way more offense in this match than I was expecting. Mox gives him a good old fashioned bulldog DDT on the apron but gets spooked by Danhausen just long enough for Yuta to hit a flying crossbody from the top. Moxley realizes that he is Jon Moxley fighting Wheeler Yuta and puts an end to the match with the Paradigm Shift!
As Moxley celebrates his monumental victory *giggle,* Bryan Danielson appears and asks the crowd if they want to see him fight Moxley. This leads to one hell of an interesting proposal from Daniel Bryanson about running AEW with Moxley! Mentoring the young guys together, winning the AEW Tag Team Championships together or hell, even going after the AEW World Championship with Danielson by his side. What a proposition! I can’t wait to see if Moxley accepts. I mean, it’s been awhile since I’ve seen anyone just come out and be a two man power trip.
POP: Pac is Bac!
The Kings of the Black Throne are out for their big match against 2/3 of Death Triangle, Penta El Zero Miedo and a blind Pac! Alex Abrahamantes leads a blindfolded Pac to the ring and Pac…starts the match?!? He definitely frustrates Malakai Black early and then slow-pulls his blindfold off to show that he can actually see! His vision is back! It’s a Valentine’s month miracle!
It doesn’t look like these two have missed a beat as they show off some nifty tandem offense to slow down the Black Throne Bitches. The two teams go back and forth, literally exchanging blows at one point. Death Triangle is able to take advantage for awhile; however, things come to a screeching halt for our little foreign friends. Once Brody King pushes Pac off the turnbuckle to the outside, the scene is set for Malakai Black to mist the masked man and Kings of the Black Throne are victorious!
BOTCH: Soho, You Wanna Go?
Lars Frederiksen from Rancid is shown at ringside for Ruby Soho’s match against Nyla Rose and when Ruby comes down, he gets in a free chest grab. Ruby immediately grabbing his hand stops it from getting too uncomfortable so she jumps in the ring and attacks Nyla immediately. That damned jacket throw to the face will shove anyone off their game; I don’t care how big you are.
Ruby muscles up against Nyla and drops her face-first onto the ring apron, and as Jim Ross reminds us, the hardest part of the ring. The tide would turn shortly thereafter as Vickie gets involved so Ruby goes after Vickie. Before she can do anything, Nyla pulls her back in with a second rope neckbreaker. One senton and a Beast Bomb later and we have a winner! I fully put this on Lars Frederiksen and his grabby hands! Damn you, Lars!
You’re probably wondering why I gave this match a Botch. I enjoyed the match. It was nothing special but it was meant just to be filler. I hate when they use the female match for their piss-break match. I love the females on this roster; they can GO. So let them go! Give me the female barn-burners!
POP: Chicago Murderhawk
I know, I know. It’s just an interview segment but it turned into a fight so I’m counting it as something I care about! I am unbelievably hyped for this match next week. A Texas Death Match for the AEW World Championship between Hangman Adam Page and a man who legitimately terrifies me, the Murderhawk Monster Lance Archer?!? YES. PLEASE. I don’t even have to beg Uncle Tony for this one. It’s happening! Come on, Wednesday! Get here fast!
POP: Hometown Beatdown
Your main event tonight is the grudge match between Chicago’s very own, CM Punk, and his biggest rival to date, MJF. It’s taken a long time to get here but damnit, here we are! MJF comes out alone, which surprises me a little. I assumed he’d have Wardlow out here with him, Shawn Spears, the rest of Pinnacle, his best friend from high school and the cast of Chicago PD. But nope. Mans is out here tryna fight his battles alone. As for the other guy, well, when he wrestles in Chicago, he’s never alone.
Of course, MJF tries to hide from CM Punk when the match starts just so he can poke a Punk in the eye. Naturally, this pisses off Punk and he punches MJF in the face a whole bunch about it! Just a few minutes after that, the boys end up fighting into the crowd. Punk crotches MJF on the rail and now he’ll never have children. That he hates. And doesn’t want. I think that makes MJF the winner already. Nah, still too early!
Or is it? MJF locks in a sleeper, which he then solidifies with a body scissors on Punk. The hometown kid is able to fight it off for a little while but he slowly wears down and goes to the mat. Referee Bryce Remsburg lifts the arm and on the third try, Punk’s arm hits the canvas. MJF has put CM Punk to sleep in Chicago! MJF is your winner for real this time! What an upset!
Now wait just a dadgum minute! Remsburg notices tape on the mat that he automatically assumes MJF used to choke Punk out and this happens:
The match will continue!!
It’s @CMPunk vs. @The_MJF!#AEWDynamite is LIVE from Chicago, on @TBSNetwork right now! pic.twitter.com/Qej85b1EbQ— All Elite Wrestling (@AEW) February 3, 2022
That’s twice MJF has won and it hasn’t counted! First with getting crotched and not being able to have kids and now because the referee saw a wild string of tape in the ring. Yeah, that checks out. MJF would spend the rest of the match trying everything he could to win the match (again). He choked Punk with the tape one more time. He tried biting Punk’s fingers right off his hand. Nothing is working and Punk refuses to give up, at one time even hitting the rare Pepsi Plunge off the top rope!
When Punk follows that up with the Macho Man elbow (as sloppy as it may be), I thought the match was done. As has been the pattern this match, I was incorrect. Punk calls for the GTS but MJF flops out of the ring and he is joined on the outside by Wardlow. God forbid this match actually finished without a Pinnacle sighting! Punk rolls MJF into the ring and then stares Wardlow down just long enough for MJF to pull out the Dynamite Diamond ring and knocks out Punk for the REAL win! No shit, MJF beat CM Punk in Chicago! For real this time, you guys! I swear! Punk’s undefeated streak is over! That was one hell of a match and exactly what a grudge match should be. After a mostly meh show, this damn thing finished on the highest of spots, unless you’re CM Punk of course!
I hope you enjoy your week, everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. You can find me on there, Instagram or Twitter (all are @robbywardshow). Please hit me up with what you liked, what you hated, what you think I can change. I’m all ears! Wrestling united!
