Reka Tehaka expresses her fury at Vickie Guerrero's interference - AEW (YouTube)

Pops & Botches: AEW Dark – 5.18.2021

AEW Dark Pops & Botches

 

Oh happy days, your faithful correspondent’s number finally came up for the first round jab. With a little pain in my arm but a lot of hope in my heart, I got to recapping the May 18 episode of AEW Dark.

Last time on Dark…

Julia Hart cheered the Varsity Blonds. The Pretty Stable boys strutted and preened. Max Caster cracked up the booth with his booty butt, booty butt, booty butt cheeks. Catch up on all the gags and storylines in our May 11 recap.

Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…

The highlight of Dynamite last week was the epic SCU/Young Bucks match, which resulted in the Young Bucks win we all knew it would. Cody Rhodes cut an amazing “straight outta 2003” promo that somehow made him come across as even more quaintly patriotic than the stars and stripes tattooed on his neck already suggested. His earnestness was poorly received by some American fans, who were perhaps being a little too earnest themselves. After the show, Anthony Ogogo used the opportunity to clap back in his equally stereotypical role as an ‘orrible, ‘orrible Englishman who can’t help but point out all the flaws in America. Meanwhile his own American sidekicks are visibly unsure whether they should be insulted, which somehow makes the whole thing even funnier.

Just a reminder, folks, Saturday night it’s the Eurovision Song Contest. This is the best time of year to get on the mock-serious patriotism train. Toot toot!

Being The Elite episode 256 continued the story of Christopher Daniels’ kayfabe retirement. His cold open promo was excellent. “Hollywood Hunk” Ryan Nemeth walked around trying (and failing) to put himself over as a big name actor. He might not be as famous as he wishes himself to be, but at least he can mispronounce Ashley d’Amboise’s name less obnoxiously than the announce team. Madi Wrenkowski sat down to confess to the Unholy Reverend (Ryzin), and was judged poorly by the ever-pious Nun Squad of Nyla Rose and Vickie Guerrero. Pretty Peter Avalon is still sad over losing Leva Bates. It’s nice to see more of the women’s roster appear on BTE.

In episode 320 of Sammy Guevara’s vlog, the Young Bucks rechristened the show BTE Dark. Cody Rhodes educated us all about his incredibly scientific ranking system in the Friendlympics. Baron Black won this week’s heat by showing up in some sharp resort wear. Julia Hart also dropped by to teach Fuego del Sol a cheer! F-U-E-G-O!

Elevation’s 10th episode was two and a half hours long, so I’m glad I didn’t watch it. You might want to scan around for the Buffalo boys, though, who we last saw in September last year – Daniel Garcia, Kevin Bennett and Kevin Blackwood all made an appearance.

Speaking of folks down from Buffalo, Allie took a break from doing Oreo taste tests to release a neat Behind the Scenes vlog.

Let’s cue up episode 89.

Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.

SQUASH: You can leave your coat on

Getting it started this week is big, bad Powerhouse Hobbs! He is facing Nightmare Factory alumnus and possible serial killer, Mr Dean Alexander.

Alexander hasn’t even taken his fur coat off before Hobbs takes him out. He briefly finds a moment to remove his pelt, then Hobbs spinebusts and pins him.

BOTCH: Don’t turn around, oh oh oh

Billed from Boyle Heights, California, we have a mystery luchador Falco joining us tonight. Apparently he’s appeared on AEW before, but I don’t remember him. He’s facing Dante Martin.

The match is just alright. There are several aerial spots, but it feels a bit off. Nothing really flows or connects as well as it should.

Martin wins with a slightly botched 450, slamming his knee straight into Falco’s head.

You’re welcome.

POP: For commentary

Hey, it’s Occult Pro Wrestling Star RYZIN! He’s facing Dark Order’s Preston “10” Vance.

10 and Ryzin have a relatively subdued opening, which is greatly enhanced by Ricky Starks on commentary speaking Simlish. It feels like they missed a few spots in the ring here, but this match is elevated by the ridiculous banter coming from our beloved Tuesday night commentary team.

Ryzin misses a senton then 10 Full Nelsons him to death. Not a great match. Very entertaining commentary.

POP: RIP Rourke’s neck

Next up we have Chuck Taylor versus Aaron Rourke. Rourke is another Create-A-Pro alumnus making his AEW debut. He’s wearing glitter on his face, so he has instantly become my favorite.

Rourke and Taylor start it out with some slow grappling punctuated by shoulder tackles, dropkicks and slams. So far, so American. Taylor rolls Rourke outside then takes a break to hug his Best Friends.

The turnaround comes when Rourke runs for Taylor in the corner. Taylor just steps out of the way and Rourke goes head-first into the steel ring post. It is violent as hell. As if that wasn’t enough, Chuck Taylor heaves the kid up into an Awful Waffle piledriver for the win. Brutal. Decisive.

POP: Spool up those air raid sirens

As teased on Twitter, Fuego del Sol is facing Lee Johnson tonight! Big Shotty has Cody Rhodes escorting him to the ring.

Del Sol and Johnson get straight into it, a slick opening sequence featuring plenty of arm drags and flips. Hurricanrana! Tijeras! Dropkick! Every move transitioning smoothly into the next one. This is how you do an aerial showdown!

Johnson hits a hell of a destroyer then a standing moonsault press on our hapless vlog bud. He misses the pin and lifts del Sol onto his shoulders, but del Sol counters with a stunner! Del Sol slips on the top rope but still manages to do a one-legged moonsault to the outside. Exciting stuff! The final sequence sees del Sol missing his Tornado DDT and Johnson countering into a Blue Thunder Bomb.

Could it be match of the night? Let’s keep watching to find out.

THE ACCLAIMED DROP A NEW MV

This time their target is Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston. Anthony Bowens clowning around in Kingston drag is a sight to behold, and as usual Max Caster’s lyrics hide a few gems for pop culture fans.

Platinum Max also released his mixtape this week!

POP: Comedy with the noobs

Coming on the heels of the new MV’s abrupt ending, we have Dark Order’s Evil Uno and Colt Cabana versus debuting duo Tamilian Vineesh and Duncan Mitchell.

Vineesh tries some yoga to get focused, but Cabana still clobbers him. Mitchell tags in, but faces some surprisingly well-coordinated tandem offense from this rare Dark Order pairing. Mitchell, on the other hand, manages to accidentally take out his own partner. When Vineesh gets back up, Uno takes both of them out with a simultaneous neckbreaker and DDT.

The Dark Order have a trend of closing matches with finisher layering upon finisher, and this match is no exception. Cabana hits Mitchell with the Flying Apple, then Uno lands a senton atómico, then Cabana locks in the Billy Goat’s Curse. Poor guy taps in exhaustion. Cabana is so excited to get a win over these jobbers that he does a roly poly and accidentally kicks Uno in the head, which is clearly the comedy highlight of the match.

POP: Stunt scampers

Next up is Cezar Bononi, accompanied to the ring by the whole Pretty Stable. Ring announcer Justin Roberts takes a nod from Melissa Santos’ cadence in becoming progressively less impressed as more of Pretty Peter Avalon and his Sensual Sled is revealed. The Brazilian daddy and his handsome compadres are here to fight Marko Stunt.

As soon as the bell rings, Stunt escapes through Bononi’s legs, then uses his speed to quickly strike at Bononi’s lower half. Eventually the big man catches up with Stunt and tosses him to the ground.

Bononi works pretty well with Stunt, since he gets to do his still-rough big man spots and the clumsiness leaves kayfabe openings for Stunt to come back and make the match competitive. Stunt hits a bunch of nice counters, but before long Bononi wipes him out with a Samoan drop.

FINE: Alanis gets Comoroto’d

Our next big man squash is The Factory’s Nick Comoroto versus Adrian Alanis.

Alanis tries a more traditional offense versus his big man – trying to land some heavy strikes and kicks, but they all bounce off. Comoroto takes control, but slows the pace enough to give the commentators time to put stablemate Anthony Ogogo over.

Comoroto’s no slouch either, though. He shows some “gone berserk” character with a combination powerbomb and pantsing of our indie victim. Alanis pulls his trunks back up, then gets pinned.

POP: Dark comfort food

In tonight’s Darkest match of the card, we have fan faves Serpentico and Sonny Kiss.

As the competitors circle ahead of the initial lock-up, Luther reaches into the ring to trip Sonny Kiss. Serpentico immediately takes advantage, but Kiss counters. There is a solid back-and-forth, and somehow Kiss keeps on managing to fall into a legs-split, spread-eagled position no matter where he lands. Dude’s legs are bendy like an action figure!

There are several amusing spots where both Kiss and Serpentico end up spinning the other around more times than is strictly necessary. Did they forget the sequence, or were they just joking around? It’s all very Janela-inspired. To his credit, the Jersey Bad Boy stays on the side and doesn’t get involved with this match.

Just kidding. Right at the end he gets up on the apron, inadvertently distracting referee Aubrey Edwards, which allows Luther to come in and issue a boot to Kiss’ head. Then the Concrete Rose is laid out and it’s 1, 2, 3 – a rare win for Serpentico.

MEH: Allure shines briefly

Red Velvet and Big Swole are teaming again tonight. Their opponents are a couple of familiar faces on Dark: Vertvixen and Jazmin Allure.

Allure and Velvet treat us to a fast, well-choreographed opening sequence. Vertvixen is less successful against Swole. She eats a bunch of double-team offense before managing to isolate Velvet and slow the pace down.

Allure returns for a quick exchange with Swole toward the end of the match, but then she’s back out and Swole hits the Dirty Dancing on Vertvixen for the win. The only real standout for me this match was Allure, who seems to have improved a lot over the past few months of squash matches.

FINE: Bang, clang, slam

Griff Garrison is booked in a singles match tonight! He’s accompanied by tag partner Brian Pillman Jr and cheerleader Julia Hart. Deonn Rusman is down all the way from Alaska to job for the Varsity Blond.

Rusman works a pretty traditional American style, locking up and grappling back and forth. The hallmark of the style for me: every single hit must result in a loud, echoing thud on the canvas. Stamp stamp stamp. It’s like the retro version of the leg slap, or your most annoying upstairs neighbor.

There are splashes, there are slams, it’s throwback city. Rusman kicks out of the gotdamn Falcon Arrow, then gets floored by a spinning elbow. If that’s not a fuck you to modern wrestling I don’t even know.

POP: Get over here

Apparently this isn’t a main event, but it should be. We have jobber to the stars Matt Sydal versus Marty “The Moth” Casaus, now dressed in a shiny Mortal Kombat-esque ninja costume!

Sydal brings some real urgency to this bout, darting in and out, stealing quick strikes at every opporturtunity. Casaus goes full creepy bastard, smacking himself in the head almost as much as he smacks Sydal. Good thing his head is hard, because Sydal is flexible enough to kick the taller man in the noggin too.

Eventually it’s the Lightning Spiral that takes it for Sydal, but this was a really fun match. Maybe even a match of the night?

POP: A worthy blow-off

It’s rare that we get a feud built on Dark that also resolves on Dark, but here we have one! Diamante has been a bit unhappy with Kris Statlander since the alien returned, and now we’re getting the showdown.

Statlander tries to boop her opponent, but Diamante grabs her finger and bites it! She’s pissed! Statlander levels up with a power slam and dropkick, then the women exchange chops on the outside till Diamante is left flat out on the floor.

Statlander rolls into the ring to break the count, then rolls back out, flopping straight onto Diamante – a sloth splash, if you will. It’s the sort of lazy offense we usually only see in Orange Cassidy’s repertoire, and it’s brilliant.

Back in the ring Diamante wrestles Statlander to the ground and attempts a submission, but the alien is too strong! It’s a knee to the face, then the Blue Thunder Bomb, but Diamante somehow kicks out! Stunner! Hurricanrana! This is a hard-hitting match, y’all.

Statlander eventually counters a Sliced Bread attempt and hits the Big Bang Theory piledriver for the win. Stiff as hell. Consider this my other, other match of the the night!

POP: Beasts

We got some more women’s action for the cooldown – Nyla Rose versus Reka Tehaka.

Tehaka leans hard into her Samoan warrior character, but so far she hasn’t really wowed me in the ring. Can Rose coax something out? The start of the match looks good! Rose is big and tough enough that Tehaka can unleash some of her stiff (if a little clumsy) offense and it works. The Native Beast is also enough of a slow, lumbering monster herself that Tehaka can pause to mug for the camera, which emphasizes her strengths.

Rose wins it with her Beast Bomb – that outcome was never in doubt – but this did a lot to put Tehaka over as a fearsome competitor in her own right.

POP: This is lucha

It feels like it’s been a while since Angélico graced us with his fluoro outfit, bucket hat, chiseled pecs and ridiculous dancing. He brings the full entrance this time in a match with Mexican metaler Vary Morales.

Angélico hits a cocky snapmare to get first blood. Morales isn’t fazed, though, popping up with a few quick armdrags. Angélico is happy to play it slow and deliberate, coaxing some boos out of the crowd. He twists the luchador up in an ankle lock, but Morales makes the rope break!

Morales gets fired up and hits a few aerial maneuvers ahead of a flying crossbody, but a subsequent attempt gets intercepted by Angélico’s dropkick, then it’s Navarro Death Roll and a submission win for the lucha libre veteran.

POP: J-U-L-I-A

In the second half of our Chaos Project versus Varsity Blonds battle, we have Brian Pillman Jr versus Luther.

This is another smart match-up, because Luther’s size and slowness gives Pillman the opportunity to really be “Flyin’ Brian”, hitting some strong dropkicks and making his offense look faster and more furious than it actually is. Through the middle of the match Luther does manage to “isolate” Pillman, but the kid “hot tags” and comes back to win with his flying clothesline.

The most interesting part of this match was Julia Hart, who played a classic valet role – first being intimidated by Luther, then dashing off to fetch Griff Garrison from the back when Serpentico made a surprise appearance to beat down on Pillman after the pin. She is so full of charisma that it even makes these well-worn spots work.

This was a long, but fairly good episode of Dark. There were a few fun little promos to break it up and a decent mix of developmental stuff, indie guys and our usual Dark faves.

We’re finally starting a push into the Double or Nothing PPV, so Dynamite is going to be filler or builder matches. As such, us undercard and midcard fans are getting a treat! Check it: we have two tag matches, Varsity Blonds versus Young Bucks and The Acclaimed versus Jon Moxley and Eddie Kingston, both of which should both be showcases for the younger talent. In singles, Anthony Ogogo will deliver a punch to the gut of the guy who started USA chants on Dark, Austin Gunn, and Serena Deeb will defend her NWA title against Red Velvet. Should be a fun watch.

Enjoy the show, please share this column with all your low card wrestle-lovin’ friends, and join me back here next week for more Dark recappery and the YouTube roundup.

     

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