IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT. YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!
Heya folks! I hope everyone had a great week and was looking forward to this week’s Dynamite as much as I have. Luckily, there is literally nothing happening in the wrestling world this entire week so I can’t think of anything better to distract me from real life than this episode! Elsewhere in the AEW domain, we had 24 matches on the YouTubes this week! Coupled with last week’s AEW Dynamite, which saw QT Marshall’s SHOCKING heel turn, Christian Cage’s wrasslin’ debut and the Inner Circle beating the hell out of The Pinnacle (while demolishing my favorite Pepsi machine!), it’s time to get rollin’ and see where we’re headed! But first….
POP: Wednesday War Is Won
I’m sorry AddMayne but the writing has been on the wall for quite some time now. Dynamite has officially knocked NXT to Tuesday nights and now owns Wednesday nights all to themselves! The Wednesday Night Wars have concluded! This does have me a little worried that both NXT and AEW could start mailing it in without having the other to push them; however, I have faith in the AEW brain trust to not disappoint us!
To start off Dynamite, we get The Inner Circle showing up en masse out at the airport in their individual black vehicles. It was a beautiful aesthetic, not going to lie. Put a little AC/DC into this video and you’re really onto something, guys.
POP: Cowboy Up
Back in the arena, we start off with Hangman’s horses’ feet and the all too familiar twang of an old school country guitar. Nothing counteracts twangy guitar better than a millennial rapper so The Acclaimed comes out and Max hits us with this ahem…gem:
“Hey. Hey. Yo. Yo.
Hangman, you a changed man
Used to be a star
And now you fadin’
Platinum, the flight is starting to air
Catch you slippin’ like Joe Biden on the stairs
So check your thought process
I’m dancin’ with the devil like I’m Little Nas X
You a one-trick pony
Treat me like a Breathalyzer and—”
He’s cut off by Anthony Bowens who tells him he can’t say that on TNT. I’m not sure about that though. I mean, DX told us to suck it for years. Bowens tells us they have arrived as if we haven’t been watching the first five minutes and Hangman cowboy boots him in the face about it. Now with him out of the way, Caster and Page can go one-on-one to see which one will have won and be #1. Apparently, in the AEW Rankings, which, if this is a #1 Contender’s match for the men’s single division, Caster sure has shot up there out of nowhere. What happened to Lance Archer or Darby Allin? Are those guys not up there anymore? Plus, isn’t Caster in an actual tag team?
Caster and Page have a very good match here, including Hangman cowboy booting Caster in his head to complete the “kick both of The Acclaimed in the face” objective. Caster had a slight botch on a superplex but still pulled off the move. Bowens got involved multiple times including slipping John Cena’s steel chain to Caster. Caster hits Hangman with it but can only get a two. He whiffs badly on the Mic Drop so Page hits Bowens with a moonsault to the outside, jumps on the apron for a Buckshot Lariat and Hangman is the best, Hangman #1! He hands out beers to the audience on National Beer Day and proves to truly be a man of the people.
Tony sneaks into the ring while Hangman parties and he introduces the Death Triangle. Fenix, PAC and Penta come out but immediately get interrupted by…..Orange Cassidy, who is flanked by Statlander, Chuck and Trent. Apparently, the Best Friends remember Fenix kicking OC’s head off on Dynamite in May of 2020 and beating the hell out of him at Revolution last year. PAC tries to dismiss them but Trent points out they have more wins than any other team in this company. Trent just wants to warn them that “the boys are back in town. Oh and got an alien, too, with us now” as Statlander throws her hand in the group low five. Fantastic line by Trent.
We see a random clip of Iron Mike Tyson and Jacksonville Jaguars new head coach, Urban Meyer having a chat out on the practice field. What the hell are they possibly discussing? The Inner Circle comes down to the ring dressed in all black and the fans scream-singing “Judas in my Mind” like old times except now the Inner Circle are faces! Jericho says they have a lot to say and pulls a Ryan Seacrest and sends us to break. WTF.
Jericho acknowledges they received the beating of a lifetime from The Pineapple before he is corrected by Sammy, and refers to them as The Pinnacle. Jericho cuts a beautiful promo on MJF (his jerkoff friend). He calls Tully the third string member of the Four Horsemen. Right between Ole’ Anderson and Paul Roma. He then goes ham on FTR and says they are AEW’s version of the Jonas Brothers because he knows they’re good and he knows they make money but he doesn’t know their names! Shawn Spears is next. He lets us know Spears has great upside but he’s never seen it. Wardlow, he says, has a million dollar brain and a $0.13 cent body who is so stupid he has to strip naked to count to 21. Jericho is straight fire in this promo and I LOVE IT. He challenges The Pinnacle to a Blood & Guts match on May 5th and holy shit, Jericho gets so red during this promo, I already can’t wait for Cinco de Mayo. That was phenomenal.
Dasha spends an entire commercial break looking for Christian Cage. She finds him backstage and he builds up Frankie Kazarian and their match next week. He’s interrupted by Taz, who gives him an offer to join Team Taz. Before Cage can turn him down, Taz walks off and tells him to think about it.
BOTCH: I Don’t Think that Means What you Think that Means
We get a little cross-promotional hype video for a Godzilla vs. Kong match between Jurassic Express and Bear Country. This confuses me. How is a giant lizard vs. a giant monkey the same as a dinosaur and a caveman taking on two bears? Someone help me here. Please? This was a serviceable match. Nothing special. Both teams felt a little off in their moves. Timing-wise, especially, which made it come off as a little sloppy at times. Luchasaurus did execute a perfect Undertaker sit-up when the bears approached. He then got the pin after a standing moonsault and I guess Godzilla won this round? Are they the Godzilla or are they the Kong? I can’t figure it out, you guys.
QT Marshall and his crew are at the Nightmare Factory training facility and QT explains who everyone is on his team. I love this concept as it gives us an idea what they bring to the table for those that have never heard of the other three guys. He also makes fun of Cody’s history in other promotions and says it’s his *bleep* factory. Is that the name of the faction? The Fucking Factory? Sidebar – I love that for the pretaped segments, they censor the swear words. It adds a great sense of reality when they let Jericho swear willy-nilly during his impassioned promo. Butcher Jr. throws some paint on the Nightmare Factory logo and now we have context and knowledge of this feud that we didn’t have before. Well done!
Tony introduces his crush, Sting. Jake Roberts IMMEDIATELY interrupts and says that they don’t remember how this works. He’s going to interrupt them. Murderhawk comes out and he’s sick of the AEW agenda. He wants the world to pay attention to him and he tells Sting it’s his time and Sting doesn’t need to talk. Naturally, Sting takes the microphone to…..talk. Sting agrees with Archer. Both Archer and Jake are confused and Sting calls them out for it. He hypes Archer up and tells Jake to show him how to be a main event star. Archer is just giggly and he and Jake follow Sting out.
POP: John Cena Memorial Open
JD Drake (who?) answers the open challenge for Darby’s TNT Championship. Zolph Diggler tries to intervene early but Sting chases him out of the arena. That being said, I just love Darby going against bigger guys. Not just guys who are bigger than him (even Rey Mysterio is a giant comparatively), but big guys. The way Darby bounces around for them is awe-inspiring plus, his willingness to recklessly throw his body in harm’s way is endearing. What makes it work even more is that he can pull off moves on the bigger guys like an Avalance Code-Red from the top rope on someone who is much bigger than him. Regardless of the interference by Diggler and Cezar Bononi, Darby drops the coffin on Drake and that’s the match. I think I speak for everyone when I say that Drake held his own and can definitively say that match was the best he ever had.
As Darby leaves, he gets absolutely trucked by The Butcher in a beret. The Matt Hardy Empire comes out and Bunny runs over to the announce desk to scream a lot. Sting and the Dark Order come out to even the odds and the Empire run off…..except, they forgot the Bunny. She turns around and gets tackled by Tay Conti. Officials randomly show up for this one-on-one attack (but not the six-on-one against Darby) and separates the two. This definitely drums up interest in the Tay Conti and Bunny match but also continues the build to a Matt Hardy/Darby Allin feud. Let’s go!
Marvez has managed to leave Kenny Omega alone this week and instead interviews Chris Jericho in the back. He promptly gets attacked by The Pineap — The Pinnacle. They drag him to the ring to continue the beatdown. After a spike piledriver, the camera cuts to the back and we see the door to the Inner Circle’s dressing room is nailed shut. Someone is breaking through the door but can’t get out. We go back to the ring and The Pinnacle is about to put Jericho through a table when some weird ass music hits. IT’S IRON MIKE TYSON! He chases off The Pinnacle and gives Shawn Spears some body shots. The Pinnacle drags Spears out as The Inner Circle hits the ring. Tyson and Jericho give each other the side eye since they had to be pulled apart last time Tyson was here. They shake hands and hug. Jericho thanks Tyson for saving his ass and the crowd pops heavily for The Inner Circle, complete with lifelike In-ner Cir-cle chant!
I was not expecting Mike Tyson here at all. I completely assumed it would be a simple interview segment. To see him get involved and throw hands at Shawn Spears warmed my heart immensely. I’ve always been a huge Tyson fan so to see him on my show had me poppin’ like a tart.
POP: Conti Conti Oxen Free
The Bunny comes out with the Matt Hardy Empire to face women’s #1 Contender, Tay Conti. The Dark Order and Hikaru Shida accompany her out, including -1 who gets to do a whole entrance with the Brazilian Beauty. Matt Hardy tried to get involved and Bunny went out and knocked Shida down. She took her kendo stick from her and smacked Conti in the face while Aubrey was distracted by the two factions fighting on the outside. Shida confiscated the kendo stick back, Conti hit the hammerlock DDT and three seconds later, Tay and -1 were celebrating in the middle of the ring with the rest of Dark Order. It was a fun and action-packed, which is all I ask for. I really enjoyed this match and am excited to see Shida and Conti go after each other with the fury of a thousand suns. Another subtle thing I love is the way Tay Conti goes to the ground after she gets hit. It’s the way she falls on her ass in a realistic manner instead of hitting her back that makes me feel if I got kicked or hit that same way, I’m likely to hit my butt and not my back. Magnificent.
BOTCH: De-Elited
One thing I really like about AEW is that they refer to their six man tag team matches as Trios matches. It’s one of those little details that they hit on and it makes the product just different enough from other companies that it stands out on its own. Don Callis comes out with The Good Brothers (look, I don’t know why we call them that either!) and AEW World Heavyweight Champion – Kenny Omega. Their Main Event match with the Young Bucks and Jon Moxley is now!
We get another high-intensity, fast-paced match that highlighted all three faces. Moxley did his incredible hot tag sequence. Nick Jackson was able to whip his skinny ass around and keep the upper hand. As for Matt Jackson, he was able to show emotion and ring psychology. Every time he had a chance to put Omega down for good, he reneged. He and Nick had the BTE Trigger set up and ready to go but Matt just couldn’t do it. Unfortunately, he was teamed with a guy who really, if you think about it, is on the fringe of being a lunatic. Moxley tags himself in, pushes Matt and shifts Omega’s paradigm twice. After a little sleeper, he sets up for a third Paradigm Shift and the Bucks kick him in the face for it, superly. The angel, Eddie Kingston comes out to save him but he just eats a Magic Killer on the ramp before he can get into the ring. Anderson and Gallows hit one on Moxley for good measure then drag Omega on top of him for the win. The Brothers of Goodness pick up Mox again and hold him for another superkick party on his face. As we fade to black, Tony notices that not only does it appear that the Elite is back together but the Bullet Club is also back together! Is the forbidden door opening even wider? Oh man, we’re going to have to tune in again next week to find out and I can’t wait!
I gave this segment as a whole a Botch. That being said, I really loved the match itself. The only reason it was given a Botch is because I’m not ready for a show run by The Elite. I’ve loved them having their own stories and their own character developments. I’m cautiously optimistic it’ll turn out okay but I’ve programmed to believe it’s already fucked up before they figure out what they’re doing. Prove me wrong, AEW!
Also, we just had a “big” turn with QT Marshall last week. Tonight, they announced Jericho vs. Dax next week with Iron Mike as the special guest enforcer. I worry we’ll have our third turn in as many weeks and Tyson will repeat his turn on HBK and turn on Jericho. I love The Inner Circle featuring Mike Tyson and am not ready to lose that. I’ve already lost weekly Mox/Kingston segments. Don’t take this away from me, Khan! Haven’t I lost enough?!?
Anyway, that’s it for me today! Enjoy your week everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. Wrestling united!
