Hush little baby, don't say a word - AEW

Pops & Botches: AEW Dynamite – 2.24.2021

 

IT’S WEDNESDAY NIGHT, YOU KNOW WHAT THAT MEANS!

Folks! We’re back for another riveting week of Wednesday night wrestling! It was a wild week full of fun here at Dynamite headquarters. Besides last week’s thrilling ride, we had another session of the amazing Women’s Eliminator tournament.  On Tuesday night, Dark gave us 17 (17!) matches over on the youtubes. I guess if you’re going to have 40 people fight over the course of a couple hours, you can’t half-ass it! That rolled us right into the best show on Wednesday nights, AEW Dynamite! Trying to figure out what you missed last week? Let me help:

  • Isiah Kassidy attacked the Hangman while dressed like a giant animal
  • Shaq shot threes with Jade to get ready for their tag match
  • Orange Cassidy beat up a mentally deranged man
  • Cage tried to throw Sting through the mat and I puked
  • The Bucks beat Pride & Powerful to retain the straps
  • Young Bucks dad, Pa Buck, pushed our dad, Chris Jericho
  • Cody and Brandi revealed they are adding to the AEW Women’s Division
  • The Sydals got outwrestled by FTR – No flips, just fists.
  • Jurassic Express made their triumphant return to throw paws at FTR
  • Mox, Archer and Fenix rose up and defeated La Familia
  • Omega and Mox announced they are literally going to try and die at Revolution

Holy cow!  So much happened. It’s night and day in the storytelling between AEW and WWE. Whether or not the storyline appeals to me specifically, it feels like almost everything is built around a story.  And that, my friends, is a beautiful, beautiful thing. I guess it’s time to find out what happened this week! Spoiler alert – I cover it below:

POP: Mox Warms up to Getting Murdered

The intro hits and shows us that Mox showed up on time this week!  He’s charging down to the ring from the back and through where a crowd would sit. Do you think he ever gets to the top, looks around at the empty stadium, doesn’t see Seth and Roman and just gets sad? I know I do.

Flashy Panties is back and claims he’s going to be in the starring role tonight.  By winning the opening match on Dynamite. Nobody must have told him he was taking on a violent masochist. At one point early in the match, Mox slaps him right in the mouth. Knocked the Ziggler right out of Nemeth. After a little back and forth, Moxley shifted the Hollywood Hunk’s paradigm for the win.

Mox grabs a chair and sits backwards like the defiant teenager he is. He cuts a promo in the center of the ring with no red lights. Moxley discusses the Exploding Barbed Wire Match which actually gets me pretty hype. He even gives a subtle shout out to Japanese wrestling magazines. Excalibur explains that the ropes will be covered in barbed wire and there will be land mines throughout the ring right before they show a GORGEOUS video recapping the history of these two in AEW.

As I said, I’m hype for this match already. There’s something about Mox wearing his monogrammed pajama pants that Renee probably got him for Christmas slowly ramping up as he mentally gets in the zone to fight Omega.  You guys, someone’s gonna die.

Ratings – 1 ½ SRPs for the match
                       2 SRPs for the promo

POP: The Go Big Show Show

Hidden in Mox’ entrance was a Giant-sized easter egg that Paul Wight has signed on with AEW and will be the voice of AEW Dark: Elevation with Tony Schiavone. No pun intended, this is a huge signing for AEW. He’s likely to get in the ring occasionally, sure. After all, they mention multiple times he is under a wrestling contract as well. I don’t see him being a focal point of any show or the main event guy but the wisdom and experience he’s going to bring to that locker room can’t be understated. Good work, AEW.

BOTCH: We Can’t Have Nice Things

Little Alex finds Archer and Fenix backstage, fresh off their six-man tag team win on last week’s Dynamite. Archer says he’s the reason the team won, Fenix says Archer is the worst partner in history. Clearly, he never teamed with Kevin Owens. They conveniently brawl in the back to set up their main event match tonight in a Revolution Ladder Match qualifier. I really wanted them to still be friends mainly because I thoroughly enjoy Archer using Fenix as a weapon.

Rating – ½ SRP

BOTCH: Family Favoritism

The Young Bucks, flanked by Ma & Pat Buck, are shown arriving at the arena. They accidentally stumble by the backside of a semi-truck trailer that has the Bucks faces on the doors. In a heartwarming family moment, they decide to take a picture with the trailer….except they make Ma Buck take the pic of the three men. Rude as hell….Rude. As. Hell.

Rating – ½ SRP 

POP: The Darby Came Down from Above Looking For a Soul to Hit in the Face with a Skateboard (h/t Charlie Daniels, RIP)

Brian Pillman Jr and Stone Cold Steve Austin Jr come out for their match against FTR. What? Griff Garrison isn’t Stone Cold’s son? Huh. I’ll be damned. I guess he is too pretty to stomp a mudhole in someone. Oh well. *shrug*

Taz is on commentary to tell us how amazing Cage and Starks are. Starks and Pillman have a fun running spot where Cage trips over him on a drop down and slides out of the ring. Also, Ricky Starks (absolutely) has the most punchable face in the history of punchable faces. After commercial, we see Cage doing curls..with Pillman as his weights. Cage hits a Drill Claw on Pillman for the win. That is the perfect finishing move for Cage.

Wait, we’re not done. We cut to a black and white video of someone driving a car that is pulling a bodybag. I wonder who’s in the bodybag? The car stops, and someone in a very suspicious pair of gloves unzips the bodybag. Darby sits up in the bodybag with the best shit-eating grin on his face. Snow starts falling at Daily’s Place and Sting comes out dragging a bodybag. He unzips it to reveal an unconscious Hook. Taz says, “what kind of shit!” then runs to get Hook out of the bag. Sting points up to his treehouse in the rafters and Darby flies down with his skateboard in hand.

They beat the hell out of FTR and we get to see a Stinger Splash and a Scorpion Death Drop on Cage. It’s like he never left. The Big Bad Crow Daddy and his half-painted son stand supreme in the ring while Taz and Hook just watch from the top of the ramp.

This was a fun little match even if the result was obvious. Again, Cage using the Drill Claw is a perfect finisher for him. I love when a move fits so perfectly to the character. Ever since Sting went crow, I’ve never been the biggest fan. I loved blonde Sting so much better. So I don’t know if it’s the Darby factor or that snow falling all the time but I’m all in on this match at Revolution. This post-match segment was so fun and exciting. It’s always good to see Darby slingin’ his board around and popping people in their mouths with it.

Ratings – 1 ½ SRPs for the match
2 ½ SRPs for the post-match

I’m so confused by these instant recaps coming out of commercial break. I’m sure they’ve ran studies and tests to prove these are needed. But for someone who fast-forwards through commercials, it’s weird to watch what I just watched when I was watching.

POTCH: Miro Miro on the Wall, Won’t you Get in the Ring at All?

I’ve yet to be blessed with the opportunity to review a Miro match. He does make an appearance tonight though! Tony is in the back with him, Kip and Penelope. He leads off by saying it’s an uncomfortable interview. Miro immediately calls him out on his bullshit, rightfully so and we find out Kip and Penelope didn’t get to go on a honeymoon. Miro wants to destroy the “little walking Xanax” Orange Cassidy but he still has love for Charles the Butler. He polishes his cars AND his kettlebells. Miro faces the camera and pleas to Charles to come home and be responsible. A random stagehand slips Tony a note that says: Will you wrestle us at Revolution? Y N Maybe. Circle one. XOXO (which Miro reads as Ho Ho. Never stop being you, Miro). Miro tells Charles to quit being a child and come home so he can, “teach you how to be a man for your whole life.” Can I sign up for that?

Rating – 2 SRPs

BOTCH: A Red Dragon and an All-American (American) but no Bryan Danielson

Brandon Cutler and Jake Hager have a little match that ends with Hager winning by aggressive clothesline. Santana, Ortiz and Wardlow come down to the ring. Ortiz trips jumping through the ropes and Santana and Wardlow try so hard not to laugh. The three of them stomp Cutler while Hager looks on like a proud father. The Young Bucks chase them off and challenge Y2MJF to come out.

Their music hits but they show up on the big screen suspiciously standing in front of the same trailer they took a picture of earlier. They pan the camera back and we see Pa Buck bleeding and unresponsive on the ground. The boys throw him at Nick’s door and he gets his blood all over Nick’s fake face. They then throw him at Matt’s door to the same result on Matt’s fake face. After a quick Young Buck flex pose, they run off just in time for Matt and Nick (non-door edition) to show up to help Pa Buck. Black-haired Buck chases them into the parking lot where the Inner Circle dudes speed off in an SUV. Where is Ma Buck!?! Pa Buck gets taken by ambo to a Local Medical Facility with Blonde Buck and the Good Brothers (?) riding along. Black-haired Buck stays back to find their mother.

I could not have possibly had less interest in a Jake Hager/Brandon Cutler match. It was my literal bathroom break match each time I watched the show. As for the aftermath, having Pa Buck smash his blood all over his kids’ faces on the trailer was a great visual. Also, the flex pose with MJF and Jericho was actually pretty good. I wish I could’ve found pictures of one or both of them. Damnit, internet.

Ratings – ½ SRP  for the match
                   1 SRP for the post-match

POP: Talkin’ Cowboy Shit

Last week, I mentioned I wasn’t a huge fan of Riho and she proved me wrong. Granted, it took one match with Serena Deeb to make me a believer. On the other side of the spectrum, I was never impressed with Hangman Adam Page. Over the course of the last year, he has grown on me immensely. He and Kassidy have a perfectly cromulent face off ahead of Page’s Big Money Match with Matt Hardy at Revolution.

After awhile, TH2 is still earning that $3700 from last week and distracts Aubrey. Hardy throws Page Buckshot-shoulder-first into the SteelRingPost(.com). How’s he ever going to win a match if he can’t throw the Lariat?!? Silver and Reynolds from the Dark Order come out and tattle-tale on Matt for his dastardly acts. Aubrey deletes Matt from ringside and the match is back on. Hangman hits a VICIOUS elbow on Kassidy who responds with a step-up enziguri. Page catches Kassidy trying to hit a destroyer and Hangman hits him with the Dead-Eye to get the win.

As Page, Silver, and Reynolds celebrate in the ring, we hear Hardy’s voice chastise Page for choosing the Dark Order over Big Money Matt Hardy. He threatens to not only hurt the Hangman but also to hurt every member of Page’s precious Dark Order. Next, we see Five come rolling out of the tunnel, followed by Hardy, who throws a steel chair onto the ramp to get the attention of the boys in the ring. He then chucks Five off the stage and through a table before retreating post-haste.

It’s an amazing thing, really. Page’s PPV opponent is at ringside and he’s fighting the guy that attacked him last week. His intensity level in the match makes it feel like he’s really in a fight and trying to prove something to Hardy. That is evidenced by all the (cowboy) shit he talks to Hardy throughout. It doesn’t make much sense that Aubrey threw out Hardy but not TH2 but that’s all good.  They never actually got physically involved in the match.

Rating – 2 SRPs 

POP: As Iron Sharpens Iron

Marvez coincidentally stumbles upon Kenny Omega working in his shop, preparing something dastardly for Revolution. Marvez’ stalking abilities are really concerning and I’m thinking of calling the authorities for a simple restraining order so he can’t kill Omega in a fit of bloodlust before the Exploding Barbwire Death Match. Callis cuts him off before he gets to Kenny but Kenny hears the commotion and it’s revealed he’s working on the Moxley Extermination Chamber (MEC for all you anime nerds!). They again kick Marvez out and I know he’s feeling like the jilted lover. Why can’t you just accept him, Kenny?!?

Rating – 1 ½ SRP 

POP: Oops, They Did it Again

Nyla Rose and Dr. Britt Baker face off in the first semi-final of the American side bracket for the Eliminator Tournament. Britt does a great job of hanging in with Nyla and looking like a real threat to win the match. Having Rebel on the outside (and sometimes inside here) of the ring always adds an extra dimension. Alas, it was not to be as Britt just couldn’t ever get the Lock Jaw cinched in. In honor of AEW’s newest commentator, Nyla hits a solid WMD to the Good Doctor’s jaw. After two Beast Bombs, Nyla advances to the US Finals.

This match wasn’t quite as hot as Riho and Serena last week but my goodness, did they put on a show. Both Nyla and Britt deserve a ton of credit for putting on one hell of a match and there’s no doubt that either Riho or Thunder Rosa is in a ton of trouble when they face The Native Beast.

Rating – 2 ½ SRPs

POP – Like a Fenix Falling Back to the Ashes

Closing out the night is an absolute burner between Rey Fenix and The Murderhawk Monster (such a beautiful nickname) Lance Archer. It’s for a spot in the prestigious Face of the Revolution Ladder Match. The opening of Fenix gently burying his face into Archer’s bosom like a newborn with his mother is just heartwarming. See the header photo. It was that good.

This match takes place inside the ring, outside the ring and everywhere else. Jake Roberts is out here looking like a proud father who has taught ring psychology to someone and they listened. Archer hits Fenix with a Cannonball against the metal railing which is definitely not an easy place to pull that maneuver off but Archer isn’t your typical Monster.  He’s a Murderhawk. Fenix pulls out a great double stomp on Archer’s back and neck when poor Lance was hunched over.

Seriously, go watch this match.  Archer hits his patented Old School rope walk into a moonsault but Fenix doesn’t stay down of course. Rey one-ups him by running along the top rope and kicking Archer right in the face, which is immediately followed up with a rolling cutter. Rey Fenix is a star. Give him every title.  Sorry, Hikaru. Lance hits a Fisherman’s Buster on Rey but naturally, Fenix answers with a Spanish Fly. I wish all these words would do this match justice. Ultimately, Archer’s strength is way too much for Rey-Rey as he feeds Fenix a chokeslam before hitting The Blackout to finally put him down for good.

Somehow, the show is already over. I feel like I just turned it on. Losing the concept of time while being entertained is such a crazy feeling. I like it, I love it, I want some more of it.  I actually found it hard to write about some of these matches because they were just SO good, I don’t feel my words do them justice.  Or ya know, it’s Brandon Cutler vs Jake Hager.  *wanking motion*

All I know is that I’m looking forward to next week’s Dynamite and even moreso to Revolution next Sunday. All the stories have (mostly) made sense, have passion behind them and combined, are going to make one hell of a card. Enjoy your week everyone! Feel free to leave a comment below (good or bad, I’ll answer them all!) and share the column with your friends, family and followers. And seriously, join the Discord for good talk with good people. Wrestling unites!