What’s up, smarks? Last time we saw Rey get revenge on Kevin Nash for unmasking him, the nWo elite having a hard time deciding who’s in charge and the Nitro girls swimsuit expose. God.
Thunder: Lightning Round
After attacking Bam Bam backstage last week, Sandman – I mean, Hak – debuted in ring. Hector Garza took on Psicosis. Of course cruiserweights are awesome in WCW, but we also have two of the better ones here. Raven does what he does best and cuts a promo. He’s also wearing a sick Inhumans shirt. Konnan has a music video. Bret Hart faces… Disco Inferno?! Alright, well, let’s get right into Nitro.
BOTCH: Wolfpac Is Back, Causing Max Boredom
David is listening to his dad’s voicemails, saying they need to talk. David’s mum apparently told him that Ric is going to retire. Either way, Ric’s got a big announcement tonight, so look forward to that.
We’re about to cut to Riki Rachtman at a Nitro party, but it’s interrupted when Scott Steiner and Buff Bagwell come to the ring. I can’t decide if this is better or worse. Scott says since DDP can’t come out, he’ll be the crowd’s role model, but he can’t find it in himself to do that since the crowd is genetically inferior to him. When I put it that way, it makes him sound like a nazi.
Buff calls out Rick for interrupting Scott’s match, and just like I predicted we’re gonna get Buff and Scott vs Goldberg and Rick. Scott trash talks Goldberg, then the two leave. We then go to Riki Rachtman anyway. Goddamn it, Scott. You were meant to save us! For what it’s worth, despite his facade it doesn’t look like Riki is having a very fun time.
Luger, Disco, Nash and Elizabeth come out. Luger says he forgives Rey for breaking his arm. Nash also forgives him and even wants to induct him into the nWo Wolfpac. He won’t come out, so Nash calls him on the phone. He apparently says he’s not interested. I get this was like a joke from the bullies (in fact Hall and Nash remind me a lot of my high school bullies), but it makes them look lame as they just walk away after this nothing segment.
POP: Psico Killer
There’s a recap of Booker T and Bret Hart’s feud. Booker beat Bret last week as we saw, making him the number 1 contender to the US title, so he gets to face Scott Hall at Uncensored, which is a match to look forward to.
We get a match that might just be the highlight of the episode for me. Kidman and Psicosis. The cruiserweights are my favourite part of WCW because they consistently put on great matches and in a way influenced the modern American wrestling scene. If you remember, Kidman successfully defended the cruiserweight championship against Chavo at Superbrawl which may have been my match of the night.
Kidman hits a flying headscissors on Psicosis and the cameraman gets a little too close and Psico hits them. This match already felt pretty raw (woops, wrong show) with the dive Kidman did earlier and a crowd spot but that really sealed the deal.
Kidman wins with a shooting star press, of course, winning him the match and retaining him the championship. We see some backstage footage from back at Superbrawl – Windham and Hennig are chilling after winning the titles, but Malenko and Benoit ambush them due to the fact they were cheated out of winning those titles from those two vets.
Arn comes to chew out David since he’s basically like an uncle to him what with him being good pals with Ric. David is not a good talker and Torrie is serviceable, so it just makes David look lame in my opinion. He’s emotionless! Even Lance Storm on a good day sounds more pissed than David does here. (Love you, Lance.)
Hogan instructs Vincent, who last week he named as leader of the nWo elite, to take out Stevie Ray. I added a pic just so you could see his stylish sunglasses. We cut back to the Nitro party and I still don’t care.
POP: Mean Jeans Mysterio
This match is something that I think could be amazing if both of these guys were in their prime and on pay per view. Rey with a bigger guy, AND one as athletic as Bam Bam? That’s money. The match is pretty intense like the Kidman/Psicosis one earlier.
They do what I like to call ‘the spot’, which is the spot everyone dreads and riffs on nowadays where a bunch of people are standing outside the ring and get hit by a wrestler diving on them. It actually makes sense here, though, because it’s security who you could make a case were looking out for Rey as this is a subversion; Rey isn’t diving on enemies, Bam Bam threw him right out there.
Granted, the only two looks I know are this and the million variations of his normal masked self, but I don’t like this Rey Mysterio, look wise. Maskless and in jeans? That’s not the Rey Mysterio I know.
Bam Bam is very dominant, but Rey manages to spring back for some offence a couple of times. He gets a pin on Bam Bam but it’s interrupted and then the second hour of Nitro starts. I understand it was a big deal when it was new but the theatrics they do for it fucking sucks. It distracts from anything in the ring, all for cheap pops. It took me out of the match and always does. Rey wins with a rollup. I liked the match for the most part but the second hour pyro really took me out of the last few moments, as I said. Hats off to WCW for pushing a young talent like Rey, though, I guess, since they’re more known for keeping the old guys on top.
Mean Gene interviews Rey, but it’s cut short when Lex comes in asking why he didn’t join the Wolfpac. Kevin Nash attacks Rey from behind. Meanwhile, Bam Bam and Raven are fighting, which is a match I wouldn’t mind seeing. Sandman also comes in and now I just wish I was watching ECW. In another segment, Kevin Nash tells Stevie Ray to attack Vincent, for obvious reasons.
BOTCH: And Now, The Midcarders
Jerry Flynn cuts a promo that’s so void of any substance. Just stick to being a low mid carder in the ring, my dude. Backstage, Scott Norton asks why The Cat doesn’t get his ass back there since he’s being called out. Ernest has his music but he still has the Glacier lights and snow. It’s like someone fucked around with entrances in a 2k game, it’s great.
Sonny Onoo interferes and Cat uses a cable to strangle Jerry but he’s not DQed. This isn’t a street fight, either. I get when a ref doesn’t DQ two competitors in a match if it’s a match everyone wants to see like what happens in AEW often, but this is The Cat vs Jerry Flynn.
Cat does a dropkick and Flynn goes for a high kick but they hit each other. The ref is done with this match and decides whoever gets to their feet first is the winner of the match. Flynn gets up, but the ref doesn’t see it and Onoo hits him down, so Cat wins.
We then have Perry Saturn vs Hugh Morris. I think these guys are decent on their own, they could potentially put on an alright match with the right opponent, but together I don’t really care. Not a bad match, just not overly interesting. Don’t get me wrong, this is fine for a weekly show, but this is basically an opinion column, I’m just saying what I think. I don’t think it’s an unpopular opinion, either. The crowd’s pretty quiet for it. There’s a part of the match with some momentum that gets them hyped, but it doesn’t last long. Jericho comes out to screw Saturn, though, which wakes the crowd up. Morris wins with the moonsault.
POP: This Is A TV Match?
Chris Benoit vs Bret Hart. Come on, are you kidding me? Two of the best trainees from the Calgary Dungeon, this is gonna be amazing. If Bret didn’t have his career ended and was in the same company with Benoit, in a couple years time this could’ve been a main event on Pay Per View.
Of course, the crowd aren’t smarks so they’re not as all over this as many would be today, but they’re still having a good time. They do a Greco-Roman knuckle lock and Benoit is completely arched over, but he pushes himself back up and reverses into a submission hold. Later on, Benoit chops Hart so strong that he falls flat on his back.
I fucking hate the diving headbutt for obvious reasons but it looked cool here. Still don’t justify it, though. Goes for the pin but doesn’t get it. They trade sleepers before Bret makes the both of them fall over the ropes to break the hold.
Windham and Perfect come out to attack Benoit. Bret gets the sharpshooter, but Benoit makes the ropes. Bret didn’t break it, giving Benoit the DQ win. Malenko comes out, and then of course Windham and Perfect are back. I get they wanted to further the story, but it felt a tad overbooked to me despite the match being good.
BOTCH: Good Grief, More Wolfpac?
Wolfpac come out, starting with Disco, and then the rest pour in before Hulk comes down, claiming that he is the man. Eh, you’re no Becky Lynch, Hulkster. He talks up David and shits on Ric.
Vincent and Stevie Ray start fighting, but Nash breaks them up. Hulk claims Ric’s big announcement is his retirement, so you don’t even have to watch the next segment, then they make their exit.
Mean Gene welcomes Ric as he makes his way down. He asks how Ric is doing and how he feels about Hulk saying he is gonna announce his retirement. He cuts a promo like only he can and riles up the crowd, saying Hogan can’t do that. He also says for 28 more days, he’s still the president of WCW. Ric says he’s gonna have a Barbed Wire Steel Cage match with Hogan at Uncensored. He hypes this up a lot, and that sure isn’t a retirement.
Now the main event, which is a rehash of last week except this time a tag match. Rick and Buff start it off. Rick starts a pin attempt after some offense, but Scott breaks it up. Goldberg gets ready to walk in the ring but Scott backs off.
Goldberg tags in, to my surprise – I thought he’d only be in the finish. Buff runs away, failing to leap for a tag as he flails, so he has to tag Scott again. Goldberg brawls a bit, then lifts(also quite literally as you would in a work out) and drops Scott for a 2 count.
Rick tags in, gets suplexed, and then Buff is tagged in. Scott gets the clippers again, cutting the turnbuckles off. More tags between the Wolfpac, more brawling. Goldberg gets the hot tag, eventually spearing Buff. He then goes for a Jackhammer, but Scott breaks it up. Rick gets the pin, though.
I would’ve preferred if Goldberg getting the hot tag was just him clearing house and then doing his two moves, which is surprising considering I hate that in a singles match. Yeah, I’m just not that sweet on Goldberg and probably never will be. Either way, that’s that episode of Nitro. Join us next time when Booker T faces Scott Steiner and the Wolfpac inevitably dick around for most of the show.
