When we last left our heroes…
A Kingly Quarrel took place! Sasha Banks kept Carmella on ice, Roman Reigns nitpicked a lockpick, & Bianca Belair proved she’s the royalest, rumblest competitor out there.
We’ve officially pulled out of the driveway & are on our way down The Road To WrestleMania, gang. Did SmackDown shift over to the fast lane right out of the gates or are we already looking to turn this car around? Let’s get right into it.
Going Up Swinging
Three wins in a row for Cesaro, everybody. That’s called a winning streak, my friends.
Sometimes you just want to see a good, clean wrestling match without any of the extraneous bullshit. I could probably watch these two wrestle each other for an hour straight & feel like they’re just getting warmed up. I really dug the finish here with Cesaro going for broke with The Swing into The Sharpshooter after his arm had been worked on. Add to it the huge gash on the side of his head & there was a greater sense of urgency. Blood can have that effect when you use it sparingly. Clearly it was accidental here, but it still added to the viewing experience. I’m not asking for Eddie Guerrero looking like Carrie at the end of prom, but a little color when used correctly makes things better.
Daniel Bryan’s trying his damndest to get this guy over. I think we all appreciate it. The big question is where is it heading. We got the shot of Nakamura watching on the monitor in the back, but I’m not sure if that’s just because they’re pals or a harbinger of what’s to come. I’d like all three of these guys to get a spotlight as we head into the biggest show of the year, so here’s hoping everybody remembers they hate Roman Reigns & somebody emerges.
Intercomplimental
The good wrestling portion of the program continues with (hopefully) our big blowoff triple threat between Crews, Zayn & Big E. I liked this match a lot, with every guy getting to look like a competent wrestler. That sounds like shade, but given Zayn’s role these past few months, seeing him do anything other than complain is a welcome sight. Moreover, I’m all the way into Big E being a competent champion with a slew of strong, clean wins under his belt since winning The Intercontinental Championship.
This feud was pretty great as a whole, but I think either they need to move on or Crews needs to call in a favor to Reigns & company. I like Crews as a wrestler, but him being a heel on his own merits isn’t there & it’d be easy to make him a focal point on the show if you have the likes of Heyman throwing him a promo here & there. I basically want the Lashley treatment for him over on RAW. Somebody acts as the mouthpiece for him while he just focuses on beating guys down in the ring.
I wouldn’t mind a hard Zayn reset either. I might be alone, but I’m thinking a new direction or gimmick might be on the menu. I haven’t disliked what he’s doing, although the expiration date is coming up if it hasn’t already. SmackDown’s roster is stacked enough at this point that moving guys around doesn’t even feel like a demotion. Like I wouldn’t bat an eye if Zayn all of a sudden starting feuding with Cesaro or Seth Rollins. They can make a lot of things work. Same for Big E. There’s a ton of credible contenders for his title. Let’s showcase some more of them.
Shades Of Bay
Our kayfabe Kay-Bay might be happening!!
After taking care of those dastardly Riotts in The Rumble, Bayley rightfully decides they haven’t nearly had enough punishment for the way they’ve treated poor, sweet Billie Kay these past few weeks. Our precious Billie appears to have Stockholm Syndrome sadly throughout the match, still trying to get on The Riotts’ good side.
Despite Billie trying to help Ruby in her match AGAIN, Liv stills yells at her & pulls her off the apron. Maybe this is a long con from Liv for Ruby turning on her the first time. I’m onto you, Morgan…
None of that is important however, as what does matter is Billie chasing after Bayley with her credentials once she’s done putting Ruby’s face through the mat. Take a long, good look at what a valuable asset she could be, Bayley! Make Billie the Andy Richter to Bayley’s Conan on The Ding Dong Show!
Talks Are Tabled For Now
I want to start by saying Roman Reigns & the perceived slights against him are my new favorite thing in all of WWE. He’s so pissed off just because Edge isn’t there to open the show that he takes it as a personal affront to him & his entire family. I love it. All I want is for him to keep going with it until he snaps. “Edge named his child Lyric. Does he think I can’t write a song?”. Or “Edge is friends with Christian. Romans & Christians don’t get along historically. Does Edge think he died for my sins?? I don’t think so!!”.
I wrote in The Rumble review that I wouldn’t hate if Owens showed up looking for payback after getting screwed over by shoddy locksmithing last Sunday. Now that it happened, I don’t know if I do like it or not. My biggest concern is where does it go? These guys have already had a TLC Match, one inside a cage & a Last Man Standing Match. How do you up the ante even more? I don’t think you can just throw down the challenge of Regular Match after all that. At the same time, there’s not much else in terms of grandiose match stipulations out there. I hate the dreaded “wait & see”, but that’s where we’re at.
That leaves us with Edge, who still hasn’t made a decision regarding his future for Mania. The match with Reigns I’m sure would be enjoyable, but I feel like SmackDown has so many viable options already that they’d be doing a disservice to the show if Edge picks him. The heel-face dynamic is already in place, so it does make sense on paper. I’m just not sure if it works as far as everything else going on. Particularly on RAW with McIntyre low on bigger named contenders.
I keep waiting for another shoe to drop on this show too. There’s too many guys on the periphery right now not really locked into anything that something’s got to give. Nakamura is just idly standing by. Cesaro is being build up to something (please). They’ve teased Crews aligning with Reigns. Daniel Bryan is talking about one last run. Jimmy Uso’s return has to be imminent. Seth Rollins is coming back. There’s so many moving parts that we shouldn’t be doing episodes like this where they’re just spinning their wheels. At the very least, give us an idea what Elimination Chamber is going to be all about.
Reggie & The Dull Effect
Well I don’t think this segment will pass a Bechdel T-E-S-T.
I love Bianca & all, but please don’t ever say “new phone, who dis?” for the rest of your life. I’m assuming that line was given to her by Dawkins & we all saw how his comedy stylings landed during this show.
So let’s put this together. Reggie rolls through to let Bianca know she can’t beat Sasha Banks or Carmella. Why he’s hyping Sasha when he works for Carmella has yet to flesh itself out. Carmella follows to reiterate she’s on Banks’ level, not Belair, despite losing three straight title matches to her & Bianca going through pretty much the entire roster, including Carmella, during The Rumble to earn her top spot. Any of this not tracking for you either? Oh & the whole segment ends with Reggie getting whipped by Bianca. Happy Black History Month from WWE to you, everyone.
I guess we’re going with a transitional feud for now with Belair & Carmella, which is still fine regardless of it barely making sense. I keep forgetting that Mania is so far away & they have to fill months in between. While everybody needs something to do in the interim, let’s maybe have it make a little more sense in these next coming weeks.
Reyja Vu
Remember how this rivalry began back with Corbin taking on Dominik, only for every member of The Mysterio Family causing all sorts of interference at ringside so Corbin lost? Well I’m happy to report over a month later things have been completely shaken up. Did I say shaken up? Whoops, sorry. I mean they’re the exact same.
The worst part of the whole thing is that Rey told Dominik a week before if he couldn’t handle Corbin on his own, which he big time could not, then they’d do things Rey’s way instead. Glad we confirmed The Mysterio Way is just to cheat your ass off & hope nobody notices. I don’t really have much to add other than that. Cutler just got released & apparently Murphy & Blake have reformed The Forgotten Wrestlers, so any intrigue of expanding this feud has gone by the wayside.
Stay tuned for the ongoing best of seven between Dom & Corbin until they start tagging, probably. They don’t just set The Bar, they bus & clean it once all the customers leave.
Dead End Streets
Good. Fucking. Grief.
I want you all to know just how bad The Street Profits ruined this entire thing. While it was happening live, I legitimately could not concentrate on the match as their presence was that jarring. I record SmackDown just in case I need to watch something again as I do these reviews, & I for real went back to this part of the show with it on mute just so I could focus on what was happening in the ring. The combination of The Profits’ commentary & for reasons unknown also being shown picture in picture made this impossible to sit through. They made the duo of Matt Striker & Michael Cole from The NXT Game Show era sound like Heenan & Monsoon. They made SmackDown Karaoke sound like Led Zeppelin. These two guys are insufferable in every sense of the word. Please, for the love of everything holy, never, ever, ever, EVER do that to us again.
Anyway, it was good to see Bobby Roode & Chad Gable win again taking down Heavy Machinery. Also, I may have suffered a brain aneurysm.
Overall
Worth Your Time: Cesaro vs. Bryan, Intercontinental Triple Threat
If You Have Time: Bayley vs. Ruby, The Reigns/Edge Stuff
Don’t Waste Time: Mysterio vs. Corbin, Alpha Academy vs. Dawgs, Women’s Championship Talking Segment
That’s our SmackDown, everybody. Honestly? Pretty bad. Not even bad, just rudderless. There’s nothing worse than a show devoid of purpose, where nothing progresses & that was this one. Only Bayley taking on Ruby was something we haven’t seen before. Even Bianca interacting with Sasha & Edge showing up were interrupted by the people from previous (or I guess still current) feuds. The Rumble should be a jump off point for new things to happen & we’re still exactly where we were last week. Not ideal. I also could just be cranky from The Street Profits shouting.
What’d you think of the episode? Any idea what direction The Blue Brand is heading in? Will Edge show up on NXT UK next? Drop us a line below or on The Discord & share your thoughts. Join us next week when Seth Rollins returns just in time as we begin starting to complain that feuds are going on too long. Perfect.
