Snow in Austin! Little Ice Age returns to Madrid! The polar vortex is coming! Or possibly Sting! Hope y’all canned enough fruits and dried enough jerkies to make it through the apocalypse. If you didn’t, never mind, there’s still wrestling to nourish you. Pop open this week’s AEW Dark and read along with our January 12 recap.
Last time on Dark…
Two bears teamed up with the man of steel. Nyla Rose put Alex Gracia through a table. Most importantly, we got to hear Baltimora’s Tarzan Boy. Twice. All that and more in our January 5 recap.
Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…
In case you missed it, check out our first annual Brass Ring Post Awards for AEW, where Phil, Jesse and I weigh in on the pops and botches of 2020. It’s a great chance for those of you who aren’t on the Discord channel to see me rant about main roster stuff.
In other main roster news, last week’s Dynamite featured a fantastic title match as the main event. The Acclaimed are looking good jobbing to the stars. Matt Sydal did an alright job versus Cody Rhodes. Luther and Serpentico briefly got involved after the match, and Serpentico lay down for an awkward splash delivered by aging rapper and occasional television personality Snoop Dogg.
Being The Elite episode 238 is a massive 40 minute episode where nothing very interesting happens. Kris Statlander briefly abducted earthling Griff Garrison to iron his mane. Matt Hardy manipulated Brandon Cutler into challenging Luchasaurus to a dragons versus dinos match. Alex Reynolds won a shot at the BTE Championship in a fratty drinking game.
Sammy Guevara’s vlog (episode 302) was a lot tighter than BTE this week. Isiah Kassidy gets chased by a trash bag monster with a power drill. Fuego del Sol tries to watch his ass. Literally. It’s very funny.
Let’s see what episode 70 of our favorite Tuesday night show has in store.
Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.
FINE: All-American cromulence
Opening the show tonight is “Man of Steel” Mike Verna and “Absolute” Ricky Starks.
Verna comes in with full Superman costume, and shows some super confidence against Starks. It’s not enough to make a difference, though. Starks quickly wipes him out with a spear.
POP: Ryzin rises
Our first tag match is Occult Pro Wrestling Star RYZIN and Fuego Del Sol versus Jurassic Express.
Del Sol and Jungle Boy get us started with a delightful sequence of acrobatics. Ryzin tags himself in, only to get the shit kicked out of him by Luchasaurus. The dino tags out for a breather and somehow Ryzin finds his inner monster and totally dominates Jungle Boy on the floor. He teases tagging del Sol a few times, but he’s too arrogant! He gets his just desserts eventually, though, as Jungle Boy flattens him. Del Sol finally gets the tag, but now it’s the Jurassic age, and the jungle duo kick and jump all over the show, wiping out the jobbers.
Jurassic Express get the win. This was a great match, and another step forward for Ryzin as an entertaining worker inside the ring.
POP: Air KO
Marti Daniels is one of our debuting wrestlers this week. She has a big biceps and a grunge rocker chick gimmick. She’s facing Tay Conti.
Conti starts it off with some judo throws and holds. Daniels has some words for her, but no offense – it’s straight into Conti’s strikes – elbows and knees! This is a massacre!
Conti hits a Tay KO that doesn’t connect, but it’s got big finishing move energy so it ends Daniels anyway.
POP: Ten man chaos
Here’s a wild group of jobbers: Shawn Dean, Zack Clayton, Adam Priest, Danny Limelight and Vary Morales, all united! They’re facing Dark Order’s Evil Uno, Stu Grayson, Alan “5” Angels, Preston “10” Vance and Colt Cabana.
I feel like typing all that up I already hit my word limit for the column.
Priest and Grayson kick it off with some serious graps. Clayton and Angels are next, and the big guy turns the minion inside out before tagging out to Morales, who then gets clobbered by Vance, Uno and Cabana. Ouch.
Valio barriga señor ver…. 😖@Pres10Vance@TheAEWDark@AEW #ConquerOrDie #HxC #LuchaLibre #Wrestling #MexicanRockstar #AEW #AEWDark #AllEliteWrestling pic.twitter.com/2PM9knWHNA
— Vary Morales (@VaryMorales7) January 13, 2021
Our hair metal hero reaches Limelight for the tag, then it’s his turn to get punished by everyone.
The Captain is here! He’s destroying the whole Dark Order! Woo! 2021 will be his year!
Well, Dark Order still get the win with the fatality on Priest, but Dean looked great for a moment there.
POP: Hobbs and Hook
Our favorite Bronx jobber Louie Valle is back! Love this guy. He’s facing Powerhouse Hobbs.
Hobbs flattens Valle. Busts him open. Taz’s son Hook gets involved too. Our Bronx boy never had a chance.
POP: Taking the librarian to school
The Librarian Leva Bates is back this week, wielding ring announcer Justin Roberts’ tell-all tome. She’s facing Red Velvet.
Bates and Velvet shake hands and lock up. Velvet is very quick, and leads Bates around from pin attempt to pin attempt – it’s the best Bates has looked in her whole time at AEW!
Naturally Velvet takes this.
POP: Hula girl and Impact boy
Jobber duo KC Navarro and El Australiano have been teamed up this week to face John Silver and Alex Reynolds, the Dark Order recruitment specialists.
El Australiano looks like he covered his trunks in glue and ran through a Christmas tree. He dances like a dashboard hula girl! He’s from AAA! He’s also pretty good wrestler! Navarro we’ve seen before playing the role of punching bag, and he doesn’t disappoint tonight.
This is obviously a jobber squash, but Navarro and Australiano have some very entertaining taunts and exciting aerial hijinks that makes this my match of the night.
Reynolds pins Australiano.
POP: “Wow, what a man!”
Here’s a solid midcard bout: Varsity Blondes versus Lee Johnson and Aaron Solow. Pretty Peter Avalon joins us on commentary.
PPA’s new crush Lee Johnson starts it off with Brian Pillman Jr. It’s a smooth exchange, which adjourns to a four man face-off and superkick party, then Griff Garrison gets into with Solow. Nice. Somehow the flowing manes get trapped outside and Johnson unleashes an amazing tope!
It all breaks down for a while, but the Varsity Blondes end up taking it. Exciting, creative stuff.
BOTCH: Anna Jay kicks things
Pretty in pink Texan Alex Gracia is returning this week to face Dark Order’s Anna “99” Jay.
Jay handles most of the offense here, hitting Gracia with her whole array of kicks before submitting her with the Queenslayer.
Didn’t really work for me, to be honest. Both Jay and Gracia are charismatic characters, but Jay’s kicks don’t look brutal enough to carry the whole match.
POP: The champ dominates
Next up we have NWA Women’s Champion Serena Deeb versus Tesha Price. Price doesn’t even get an entrance here, starting off already in the ring with a mystery valet (later identified as AJ Kirsch/”Broseph” Joe Brody).
The champ quickly takes things to the ground and we get some fun mat wrestling action and really tight throws.
Deeb looks like a real champ here, beating Price with authority.
POP: AEW is Bear Country
Here’s an intimidating, if jobberific, duo – “The Empbruh” Baron Black and wild man Nick Comoroto. Solid team to face indie heroes Bear Country.
Bear Bronson and Black are first in the squared circle. They exchange pleasantries before tagging out to Comoroto and Bear Boulder, who bring the hossness. Comoroto can’t quite overpower the bear, tagging back out to Black who takes the brunt of the punishment.
Comoroto and Bronson get into it for a while, but it’s Black who ultimately eats the finisher, giving Bear Country their first win.
messyPOP: Highway to the danger zone
Tonight’s headliner is wacky stumblecore psychos Chaos Project versus Minneapolis high-flyers Top Flight.
👉🤪 CHAOS PROJECT 👑🐍
Tonight
AEW DARK…..@KingSerpentico @AEW #CHAOSPROJECT pic.twitter.com/o71u31V600— Luther (@KillLutherKill) January 12, 2021
Chaos Project jump the kids before they can even get their hoodies off. It’s still mayhem when the bell rings, but I think we got Darius Martin in there getting squashed by Luther and Serpentico? The Chaos Project boys are eventually undone by one of their own friendly fire gimmicks, as Serpentico goes for a tope and inadvertently (yet predictably) hits Luther when Darius slips away to reach brother Dante for the hot tag.
It’s fun to watch Top Flight in a much scrappier, scruffier match than the clean spot-fests they had up on the main roster. They manage to eke out a win after “hitting” an airball dropkick on strung-up Serpentico.
This week’s Dark was packed to the gills with undercard faves. It was a well-paced 90 minute episode with a bunch of good matches and fun debuts. Serena Deeb and Tay Conti both looked dominant, and it’ll be exciting to watch them face off for the NWA title on Dynamite. Another thing to watch for on Dynamite is Britt Baker’s The Waiting Room segment, which has sadly been promoted out of Dark. Perhaps we’ll get some more silliness in its place?
As always, comment below or join us on the Discord if you’d like to weigh in. I’ll be back next week with more AEW YouTube weecaps.
