Outside of our little wrestling bubble that keeps rolling 365 days a year, the rest of the world is waking back up. The Twitterati are tweeting, the usual suspects are beefing, and I kinda miss the peace and quiet and bodyslams of the holidays. Take this hump day to sink back into the bubble with AEW Dark and our January 5 recap.
Last time on Dark…
Sammy Guevara didn’t phone it in. SCU saved their partnership in a barn-burner with TH2. Hobbs and Cage beat ass. Luther’s antics with Serpentico left Excalibur speechless with laughter. Check it all out in our December 29 recap.
Elsewhere in the AEW Arcadia…
Dynamite last week was a sweet tribute to the late Brodie Lee and the faction he led, Dark Order. The minions won all their matches, but nothing major happened to progress the storylines of our undercard faves.
Being The Elite episode 237 goes behind the scenes of the tribute show and has a subdued Dark Order scene. I imagine a lot was cut from what would’ve aired last week, but we still get to see Trent, Joey Janela and Luchasaurus play chess. Also, Vickie Guerrero has a great idea for a nun gimmick, and I look forward to whatever subversive shit the Native Beast is going to pull, all habited up like that.
Sammy Guevara’s vlog (episode 301) opened with a short bit where Brodie’s kid Negative One celebrated the new year by hitting everyone with a kendo stick. The rest was a clip show and a good intro to the wackiness if you never watched the vlog before.
Anyway, time for some new content. What episode are we thinking of? 69, dudes!
Dim the lights, it’s time for Dark.
POP, then BOTCH, then POP: Baltimora
Opening the show tonight is the crazy man Nick Comoroto and the jurassic man Jungle Boy.
And we’ve got Tarzan Boy as the entrance music! What a treat.
The match, sadly, isn’t very interesting. Jungle Boy isn’t as chipper as usual, which makes Comoroto’s old-fashioned style look belabored.
JB gets win by submission. The segment is saved by getting to hear Tarzan Boy again.
POP: Pink squash
Next up, Nyla Rose and Alex Gracia are facing off.
Gracia’s had quite a push lately, earning a title shot against Hikaru Shida a couple weeks back. She has a nice assortment of luchadora moves, although they aren’t quite tight enough to challenge the top talent. She gets clobbered pretty well, though.
Rose just kills her here. After the pin, Vickie Guerrero grabs a mic and compares the fallen Pink Dream to bubble gum, and asks what Rose likes to do with chewed gum.
Get the tables! Gracia takes a power bomb right through the table as Guerrero cackles. Excellent work.
POP: Strike city rockers
Ariel Levy returns this week to face Scorpio Sky.
Sky comes in hard with a sequence of strikes that thwack Levy all over. The Chilean comes back with a sliding knee and even gets a near fall!
This is a very strong stylish match, it looks stiff as hell. Sky takes it with a TKO.
POP: Littlest minion cameo
The Waiting Room has the week off, but there’s a brief promo by Negative One instead. The littlest minion is apparently feuding with Marko Stunt. Brodie Jr says he’ll be taller than Stunt someday, then they start to go at each other! Cody Rhodes and Tony Khan rush in to pull them apart, while Excalibur calls it like it’s the hottest, meanest feud of all time. Hilarious stuff. It ends with Stunt running off backstage and Negative One in hot pursuit, taking out QT Marshall along the way.
POP: Animo
Back to serious wrestling, we have Rey Fénix versus Aaron Solow.
Man, this is seriously good. Fénix will likely put on one for the ages with Kenny Omega on Dynamite, but this is a solid warm-up. He hits several of his rope-assisted spots, and Solow takes the beating like a pro.
Fénix takes it with a 619, RKO and piledriver combo. TRIPLE KILL!
POP: The darkest match
Brandon Cutler is here to try extend his winning streak against Bronx jobber Louie Valle.
Cutler has the upper hand to start, but Valle hits a drop-toe hold to tangle the dragon up in the ropes, giving him a chance to come back. This match is jobberific, as both the Bronxite and Rancho Cucamongan toss some verbal snipes at one another, fumble a few spots, and interact so joyously that the wrestling doesn’t much matter anyway.
Cutler gets the W.
MEH: You got your NXT in my Martini
Pretty Peter Avalon enters the ring to tell us his Pageant Provocation is continuing. His challenger is Angel Fashion.
This is a perfectly cromulent match. Both Avalon and Fashion are decent wrestlers. Nothing exciting happens.
PPA takes it with the marti-knees. “Pretty” Peter is a great comedy gimmick, but I feel like it’s wasted on these sorts of serious matches.
POP: The champs are here
Our Women’s Tag Team Cup champs Ivelisse and Diamante are teamed back up this week to take on random duo KiLynn King and Tesha Price.
Price and King look neat in their accidentally matching costumes. They hit a short tandem offense spot against Ivelisse at the start, but then the champs take control. Price gets pounded before making it out to King for the hot tag.
King comes back pretty strong, dominating Ivelisse, but Diamante returns for the save and takes out the King with a brutal submission. Now I want to see Diamante/King!
POP: Bear bear steel
“Man of Steel” Mike Verna has returned this week with Bear Country to form a trio to get revenge on The Gunn Club, who thumped him in last week’s jobber trio outing.
Bear Country ain’t no jobbers! Billy and Verna kick it off by comparing their guns. Verna quickly tags out to Boulder to take Billy down. Verna returns when the dust has settled to take some cheap shots, but Austin and Colten rescue their dad and set up the silly dunk move.
Bronson and Colten bring things back down to earth, then it’s Colten’s turn to get the punishing. Austin is the one to come to his bro’s aid and then the whole thing breaks down. Austin eventually takes it, running wild on the bears and catching Verna with the quickdraw!
y’all must have forgot that this is #GunnCountry
🐻🐻🐻 pic.twitter.com/3urxjs2xNN
— Austin Gunn (@theaustingunn) January 6, 2021
This match earns my match of the night not only for being a great match, but also because Excalibur and Taz bend over backwards on commentary trying to come up with strings of alliterative calls.
FINE: Just, fine
From Los Angeles, California, we have Vipress! She’s facing Shanna.
I don’t much remember Vipress’ debut against Big Swole, but she does alright here, getting a short burst of offense in. Shanna dominates through much of this match and takes the win.
POP: Sydal shares his magic
Baron Black is being given another shot as a singles star here, against one of our resident vets, Matt Sydal.
Black never really looks like he’s going to win, but he and Sydal have a few smooth exchanges that are great fun to see. I think the Empbruh is one to watch in the coming year.
Sydal will probably have to job for Cody Rhodes on Dynamite, so it’s nice to see him get one 2021 win on the board ahead of that.
MEH: Thunder Rosa treads water
Next up is debuting Ashley Vox. She is facing one of the best women’s talents AEW hasn’t been able to sign, Thunder Rosa.
Rosa takes the lead in this match, only giving Vox the briefest of opportunities to hit a hurricanrana off the ropes. For the rest it’s a flurry of submissions, throws and strikes, and Vox is barely able to keep up.
Vox does manage to hit a headbutt and thrust kick, but the pacing is a bit off. Thunder Rosa takes the W with authority.
POP: Building a midcard
“Big Shotty” Lee Johnson and “The Captain” Shawn Dean have teamed up this week to take on The Acclaimed.
Max Caster cuts another awful rap, then asks ref Rick Knox to protect him while he gets into the ring. Then he makes partner Anthony Bowens start it off! Caster’s definitely growing as a heel.
Johnson and Bowens put together some nice holds and escapes before The Captain comes in to take Bowens out and welcome Caster to the ring for some thorough punishment. Dean hits a monster tope con hilo out of the ring!
When he’s back, The Acclaimed go to work on him. Dean makes a quick escape, jumping off Bowen’s chest to unleash a DDT on Caster, then hits Big Shotty for the hot tag! Lee hits the blue thunder bomb on Bowens and it’s 1.. 2…
Caster breaks it up! Bowens and Lee have a frantic near-fall showdown before The Acclaimed finally sort their shit out and take the win.
Very good match. Shawn Dean and Lee Johnson make a good duo.
POP: Del Sol in the Limelight
Next up we have Fuego del Sol and Danny Limelight!
These two are slick as hell. The exchanges are so sharp and clean. Limelight reacts and counters in a way that brings del Sol to a whole new level.
The finale is a cool suplex-like spot off the top ropes! Limelight gets the win in my singles match of the night.
POP: Half-tag four-way
We got ourselves a fatal four-way! There is Angélico (from TH2), Frankie Kazarian (from SCU), Griff Garrison (from Varsity Blondes) and Darius “Air Wolf” Martin (from Top Flight).
Jack Evans decides to piss everyone off by yelling like an asshat as soon as the bell rings. Air Wolf slides out to kick him in the face and remind him he’s not even part of the damn match.
This is a tough match to recap, because so much shit goes on. All of these guys are great wrestlers, and it’s fun to watch them exchange moves and create some tension that could lead to team feuds in the future.
Jack Evans is MVP for being an obnoxious little shit throughout the whole match, but all of his ranting doesn’t do much for Angélico who is ultimately taken out by Garrison’s vicious rolling elbow strike. Garrison looks like he might have it, but Kaz eventually triumphs.
BOTCH: Going through the motions
Michael Nakazawa and Sammy Guevara are here to cool it down.
This is the first match of either Naka or Guevara that didn’t work for me. It’s not funny enough to be a Naka match and not serious enough to be a Guevara match.
Guevara wins with the GTH and cuts a meh promo.
POP: A wholesome, cheery, headliner
Headliner of the night is the one member of Dark Order who didn’t get a match on last week’s Dynamite – Alan “5” Angels. He’s facing Dark’s other favorite luchador Serpentico.
Alan Angels: Serpent Hunter pic.twitter.com/D8sg2Z18tM
— Vlan Vngels (@Alan_V_Angels) January 4, 2021
This match really hits the next level when Angels and Serpentico make it to the outside, Angels is tossed over the barricades, then Luther vaults Serpentico over… Luther works interference with the ref while Angels and Serpentico enter Pretty Peter Avalon’s love pit and have a brief pillow fight. Good times.
Luther never won’t be awesome as a manager, but even with him at Serpentico’s side, this is still Dark Order’s night, and Angels wins it.
Not the cleanest match we ever saw, but entertaining nonetheless.
This was an understandably spotty episode of Dark. Even the guys who didn’t know Brodie Lee must’ve felt the weight of the loss in the locker room, and I don’t think anyone was expecting to give a five star performance.
Dynamite is back on track this week with the New Year’s Smash. Tune in to see if Dark’s own Matt Sydal can manage to coax an exciting match out of Cody! See y’all next week with what will hopefully be a resumption of normal service on the YouTubes and in the undercard.
